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RE: Collaring - 6/17/2013 3:59:35 PM

ARIES83

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

There are no hard and fast rules, except within some Gorean groups.

And leather groups, too.

No, apart from possibly second life, I don't know of any "gorean groups" who have any rules regarding collaring.

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 6/17/2013 4:41:58 PM >

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RE: Collaring - 6/17/2013 8:08:27 PM

littlewonder

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We were at the beach. I was looking at a bracelet at one of the seaside shops. He bought it for me, put it on my wrist and that was that. No words, no formalities, no celebration. Just buy it and stick it on.

How a collaring happens is up to the parties involved.

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RE: Collaring - 6/17/2013 8:21:26 PM

Tezzireth42

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So it doesn't even have necessarily have to be a collar then? That explains something between a couple that I was friends with back in high school. I guess I'm too sentimental though. I like the idea of making a big deal of it but more in the sense of a one on one special night of play together. Still have the problem of having to find myself a sub first though. Again this has been incredibly helpful. Thank you all for your contribution and stories.

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RE: Collaring - 6/17/2013 8:23:23 PM

littlewonder

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no it doesn't have to be a collar around the neck. It can be anything at all you decide on. It doesn't even have to be anything at all except knowing what you both feel for each other.

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RE: Collaring - 6/17/2013 8:32:54 PM

Tezzireth42

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Back when I didn't know about the lifestyle both of them came over and I noticed him wearing the item (not sure if it is ok for me to say what or not) and I asked him what it was and I touched it. Which apparently was not ok.

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RE: Collaring - 6/18/2013 1:05:06 PM

Kana

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

We were at the beach. I was looking at a bracelet at one of the seaside shops. He bought it for me, put it on my wrist and that was that. No words, no formalities, no celebration. Just buy it and stick it on.

How a collaring happens is up to the parties involved.

Bought her a diamond bracelet a few years later too-I prefer to think of the pair as symbolic handcuffs

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RE: Collaring - 6/23/2013 7:29:02 AM

MasterSignusNova

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Collaring? Hmm well aside from deciding if you want a ceremony or not, there is a test period that you have before even consider collaring a sub. For me collaring is a serious thing. Its a very high level of trust. Just my advice once you have a sub dont collar her right away. See how she behaves. Until you are sure she has earned it do so. Collaring a sub right away might be seen as a sign of desperation.

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RE: Collaring - 6/23/2013 6:25:50 PM

littlewonder

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wow...and here we never did a test period and all this past 7 years or more has been such a waste of time.

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RE: Collaring - 6/24/2013 2:30:29 AM

nephandi

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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Greetings

quote:

There are no hard and fast rules, except within some Gorean groups.

I am a Gorean and while I have heard of some Goreans making it elaborate with candles and whips and bells and whistles most Goreans I have talked to have only had the girl beg the collar, then put it on, some also engage in a welcoming whipping since that is done in the books when a new slave enters a home and a newly collared slave is per definition a new slave, but other than that I have not heard of one unified way to do it.

I wish you well

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RE: Collaring - 6/24/2013 2:32:02 AM

nephandi

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Greetings

quote:

I'll be honest: I kind of roll my eyes at the big ceremonies now. In the late 90s when Castlrealm was at it's height, there was pretty much an over the top, over romanticized, fluffy ceremony almost every single weekend at The Lair. Then the relationship would last three months and we'd get to see the submissive get collared to someone else in an over the top, over romanticized, fluffy ceremony all over again.

I like over the top, over romanticized fluffy ceremonies.

I wish you well

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RE: Collaring - 6/25/2013 3:19:32 PM

theRose4U

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

That sounds just like a lot of vanilla marriages I've seen in recent times!

That's also true too. People seem to get so focused on getting married and having a wedding that they don't do a lot of thinking about what happens after the honeymoon. And of course, Hollywood has perpetuated the "Happily Ever After" mentality so that people don't stop to realize that a successful relationship takes effort (from both sides).

Have a friend going through this now. They had beautiful ceremony, 100 guests, month long honeymoon & she came back deer in the headlights with "shit I have to sleep with this giy every night for the rest of my life. What about my goals"
Was I wrong to point & laugh?

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RE: Collaring - 6/25/2013 3:27:30 PM

OsideGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSignusNova
Until you are sure she has earned it do so.

I have issues with the phrase "earned it". How about "figured out she's someone you want to be in a serious relationship with"?

On the flip side, I was with my ex for 6 years and never once accepted a collar from him because we did not view it as the same level of commitment and I knew he wasn't ready for what I would have expected from him.

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