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ORIGINAL: sissibaby

kiwisub12 what i would have done and apparently others have not bothered to do, is read the totality of my posts here before I was subjected to being called a target or my fetishes odd. Perhaps if someone had taken the time to read the posts I made rather than singling me out as some kind of target who has odd fetishes they would have responded to my thoughts presented rather than trying to reduce their response to my thoughts presented with implications that labeled me. What I find very difficult to comprehend is that some in forum posting dont bother to read the whole discussion, then jump in with short curt remarks as if they have some special insight ignoring the meaning of the discussion and reducing it rather than enhancing it. I hope you see what I mean here as it is not meant as a responsive attack as is implied in izi remarks back to me, "WOW settle down..." . I thought I was bringing some other insight to the discussion of the actions that not addressing individuals as Master was raising by pointing out that in part it has to do with some perceiving this site as a place to troll for customers for a commission at pay sites. Apparently this point has been lost by singling me and my fetishes out as being the root cause of the commercialization of BDSM behaviors rather than focusing on the implications of those who have come here with some kind of stict notion of what is extreme behavior in a world of extreme behaviors.

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ORIGINAL: sissibaby

Dark Steven, I think first off that you indicate I am some kind of target when you know nothing of me is a bit of a jump in logic on your part. I have been on the net and to many sites like this one as well as some pay sites and even the early free chat of Yahoo not to mention BBS which may have been before your time. The bottom line of my remark was that just as the discussion was about what is and is not the proper way for folks to interact by means of the way they address SUBS and DOMS so too is the use of these sites as a way to troll for customers to go to pay sites not exactly proper. They really are one in the same kind of misuse, be it trying to commercialize the exploitation of particular sexual interests or misusing the roles one adopts in BDSM lifestyle. Sorry that some have not seen the connection but to single out my sub persona or my fetish interests as that which makes me a target is a major mistake on your part about what and how to judge people and while I am at it who gave you the authority to judge me in the first place? Dom sub is irrelevent to the fact that with zero experience with me you jump to the conclusion I am some sort of target. Big mistake, as you have made yourself the target in your judgemental behavior.

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ORIGINAL: lizi
I'll say it again, wow, settle down. You are not coming across at all as wishing to discuss anything, rather it seems that you continue to react emotionally to something that you seem overly sensitive about. I took DS's use of the word odd to mean not the usual. Not sick, or disgusting, or weird, just you know....rare, unusual. The other word that has you reacting is target. You are a target, like it or not. Like Kiwisub, I did not get offers from site shills when my profile was up. The fact that you cannot see that you are the exact sort of person that a shill would single out is really....odd.

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Here are some facts for you.

1. Men looking for women on this site far outnumber men.

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Here's the logical progression:

1. Offender gets charged up with kinky porn.
2. Offender gets the idea from said porn that all kink women are easy lays.
3. Offender joins site and is happily amazed at how any women there are. He contemplates a kinky orgy.
4. Since all the women here are wanton sluts, he doesn't bother wasting time reading profiles. He KNOWS what the bitchez want. Going by pictures alone, he sends out dozens of identical messages, inviting women to have sex with him.
5. Offender is amazed that none of his messages produces a positive result. Confronted with this site not conforming to porn, he concludes that porn is correct and the women on this site are defective somehow. Fakes.
6. Offender then posts an offended rant on the forums about all the fakes that won't jump into his bed.
7. Offender is further amazed at the lack of sympathy he receives, and leaves the site.

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Your issue is that you're addressing wankers at stage 6, hoping to prevent him from step 4. Chronologically unworkable.

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What I see too often is the ones that broadly spam their "interest" to the point of a red "this is spam" banner being seen by every reader then getting butt hurt & by name trying to "out fakes" because they didn't respond.
While I'm sure "uber-dom" is eager to spread his seed, being female doesn't mean I will ever be interested in them. Porn promotes the idea that kinky women are an easy lay. 50 shades doesn't exactly help matters. I guess my big question mark is when did finding a kink partner become fuck & run instead of real dating? I've had many potentials over the years act disappointed because I looked like everyone else in the coffee house & wanted to know who they were as a person.
Why is it female dominants aren't allowed to like someone the flog or find their potential sub "fuckable" before wanting to move forward? To that flip side why is it "uber dom" is always so concerned about how fast he can get kinky anal sex with "any sub'll do"?

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Is there a question in the OP's massive?

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kiwisub12 what i would have done and apparently others have not bothered to do, is read the totality of my posts here before I was subjected to being called a target or my fetishes odd.

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well it is tied in and let me show you how. The notion about what is and is not proper protocol regarding the addressing of Doms or Sub or Doms by Subs or Subs to Subs is establishing some kind of standard and yes you were correct in the standard you submitted here in your opening remarks but my point is that many here are here more for the profiteering than for the "lifestyle" and so they are using this site as a feed to pay sites and to obtaining fees for doing so which is a kind of commission.

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If you are here for that purpose than you establish some kind of irrelevant rules for the lifestyle such as one has to be addressed in some particular way or they are not following some "unwritten" law of the manner to address subs or doms. The reality is a lifestyle is not something that is a commodity or has some pre ordained rules for behavior such as the manner of addressing one another. It is just what its discripter implies a lifestyle. Set rules for the interaction between two people is established between those two (or it could of course be more) intimate individuals. General societal rules are just that we respond to hello how are you in turn and we politely adress folks we dont know in a proper fashion.

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When we see interactions as ways of obtaining money we have moved from social interaction to business deals and with business deals we may or may not follow the same social rules except those that prevent certain illegal action (insider trading). When the interaction as its fundamental basis is one that is working towards a monetary desire rather than building a relationship it may well be that we pre establish some kind of rules that require and may even be at odds with normal societal one such as responding to hello how are you.
So as I hope you see my point in response to your smartly worded statements are relevant and I hope my response here has cleared up why I made mention the way I had.

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Dark Steven, I think first off that you indicate I am some kind of target when you know nothing of me is a bit of a jump in logic on your part. I have been on the net and to many sites like this one as well as some pay sites and even the early free chat of Yahoo not to mention BBS which may have been before your time. The bottom line of my remark was that just as the discussion was about what is and is not the proper way for folks to interact by means of the way they address SUBS and DOMS so too is the use of these sites as a way to troll for customers to go to pay sites not exactly proper. They really are one in the same kind of misuse, be it trying to commercialize the exploitation of particular sexual interests or misusing the roles one adopts in BDSM lifestyle. Sorry that some have not seen the connection but to single out my sub persona or my fetish interests as that which makes me a target is a major mistake on your part about what and how to judge people and while I am at it who gave you the authority to judge me in the first place? Dom sub is irrelevent to the fact that with zero experience with me you jump to the conclusion I am some sort of target. Big mistake, as you have made yourself the target in your judgemental behavior.

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Kiwisub12 judgmental is saying that I must be a target and that I have an odd fetish. Who is setting the standards for what is and is not odd. For people who are in a community that are all trying to be accepted its strange for me to hear TARGET or ODD being used to discribe my interests as if anyone elses were not odd and that they too in their everyday lives are not targets of scorn from society. People in glass houses certainly should take a long hard look at what they are about to throw!

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just curious how many are there with my particular fetish since you seem to have a grasp of the numbers? I suspect that there may be a bit more than you think and have we all become authorities now on what is and isnt normal in the BDSM community? Seems to me this is just another example of folks forcing a new "norm" on everyone else.

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kiwisub12 what i would have done and apparently others have not bothered to do, is read the totality of my posts here before I was subjected to being called a target or my fetishes odd. Perhaps if someone had taken the time to read the posts I made rather than singling me out as some kind of target who has odd fetishes they would have responded to my thoughts presented rather than trying to reduce their response to my thoughts presented with implications that labeled me. What I find very difficult to comprehend is that some in forum posting dont bother to read the whole discussion, then jump in with short curt remarks as if they have some special insight ignoring the meaning of the discussion and reducing it rather than enhancing it. I hope you see what I mean here as it is not meant as a responsive attack as is implied in izi remarks back to me, "WOW settle down..." . I thought I was bringing some other insight to the discussion of the actions that not addressing individuals as Master was raising by pointing out that in part it has to do with some perceiving this site as a place to troll for customers for a commission at pay sites. Apparently this point has been lost by singling me and my fetishes out as being the root cause of the commercialization of BDSM behaviors rather than focusing on the implications of those who have come here with some kind of stict notion of what is extreme behavior in a world of extreme behaviors.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sissibaby

Dark Steven, I think first off that you indicate I am some kind of target when you know nothing of me is a bit of a jump in logic on your part. I have been on the net and to many sites like this one as well as some pay sites and even the early free chat of Yahoo not to mention BBS which may have been before your time. The bottom line of my remark was that just as the discussion was about what is and is not the proper way for folks to interact by means of the way they address SUBS and DOMS so too is the use of these sites as a way to troll for customers to go to pay sites not exactly proper. They really are one in the same kind of misuse, be it trying to commercialize the exploitation of particular sexual interests or misusing the roles one adopts in BDSM lifestyle. Sorry that some have not seen the connection but to single out my sub persona or my fetish interests as that which makes me a target is a major mistake on your part about what and how to judge people and while I am at it who gave you the authority to judge me in the first place? Dom sub is irrelevent to the fact that with zero experience with me you jump to the conclusion I am some sort of target. Big mistake, as you have made yourself the target in your judgemental behavior.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sissibaby
Kiwisub12 judgmental is saying that I must be a target and that I have an odd fetish. Who is setting the standards for what is and is not odd. For people who are in a community that are all trying to be accepted its strange for me to hear TARGET or ODD being used to discribe my interests as if anyone elses were not odd and that they too in their everyday lives are not targets of scorn from society. People in glass houses certainly should take a long hard look at what they are about to throw!

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The problem why you get these types of people on here is because they see this site as nothing more than a free sex site...that any woman who is on here must be wild and loose and will sleep with anyone...I mean, why else would she be here?

And that's why you get the complaints about fakes and such. They're wondering why you'll have sex with everyone else but not with them.

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And this is coming from a chick who doesn't even consider herself all that smart.....

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ETA - My apologies to nephandi for not addressing the original post.

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ORIGINAL: sissibaby

I think it is wrong across the board to classify any fetish or kink as odd, strange, a target or any other notion that marginalizes people as a whole.

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Certainly one has the opportunity to disagree with my logic or thinking but basing their arguments against or even for what I am saying by pointing out in what I view as a negative terms to describe me does not foster a good discussion.

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Apparently many are trying to convince me that people of my sort are more prone to being "targeted" (which is different than calling someone a target) than other kinds of kinks here but let me remind the whole community and especially those in this particular thread, that we all are "targets" with the various social stigmas concerning BDSM and to think that one is more a target than another is to ignore the fact that when one of our members of the community becomes a target we all become a target whether we like it or not.