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nephandi -> RE: And yet again... (6/19/2013 11:51:09 PM)
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Greetings
quote:
DarkSteven thank you for your clarification. I suppose you can understand why I am a bit defensive. As my fetish is a bit different from many here apparently I hope you can understand that in part I think it is wrong across the board to classify any fetish or kink as odd, strange, a target or any other notion that marginalizes people as a whole.
I do not know what nation you are from but if English is not your native language you might be misunderstanding the meaning off the words odd and target. Now odd means unusual, and that is all it means. You are a BDSMer that means you are ODD we all are. Odd just means out of the ordinary noting more. Now as for target, that is not a way to marginalize you, it simply means that the pay site herders see you as more likely to hand over your cash than for example a female submissive into spanking who are more likely to find someone who shares her kink quickly. It is like this scammers try to sell me diet products since I am a target for that since I am fat. Target is not a demeaning word.
quote:
We are all highly creative individuals and each component of our personas is something each of us should embrace in the differences it makes for humanity as a whole. I am defensive whenever anyone is singled out for their differences and particularly defensive when it is me. But I am the first to defend anyone who finds themselves in the position I had here with my posts. Discourse of the type in FORUMS should be just that discourse and when one singles out the person rather than what they are saying they have in effect denigrated all that have posted.
Ok I am going to tell you a little story. I was always bullied as a child, in fact I was bullied and tormented by the other kids at school until I had a nervous breakdown and saw people living in my walls. I came to expect interactions with other kids to be hostile and cruel. Now one day me and my mother took the boat from Norway to Germany on a little family vacation. Anyway I was all dressed up and sitting in the bar having a soda, I was around 11 years old at the time, when a boy my age came over to me and gave me this cheeky grin and asked me if I would like to dance with his friend. I just bit the boy's head off, I expected he wanted to bully me, I expected his request for a dance was a trap to be unkind to me and ridicule me so I told him to go to hell, both the boys must have thought me insane. Much later I realized that the boys had just asked me for a dance and never said a unkind word, even when I treated them like shit, they just left and never said anything unkind to me.
Now the reason why I am telling you this story is that you are reacting like I did with those boys. I know the kink community can be unkind to those with unusual fetishes and desires and my guess is that you have been ridiculed and marginalized before so all your spikes are out to prevent you from getting hurt again, and you are attacking just like I did with those boys. Now if you take a step back and calm down you might see that no one have said anything negative about your kink, the only thing that is being said is that it is unusual and not as common as for example the desire to be spanked or tied up and it is also a kink where there are more subs wanting it than there are Doms providing and as such the chance that you, having this completely okey desire, are fulfilled are less than the chance that a female sub who like spanking is, and so those that try to get you to pay sites know this and therefore will target you, that is not saying anything negative, try to read the comments to you again, no one have said anything negative about you or your kink.
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I stick by my original points about titling and selling seem to run hand in hand on web sites such as this and to be quite frank I have experienced this kind of thing in other places with entirely different qualities of my persona that I have presented. I would only hope that someone (as you had in your recent post) would discuss the points I was raising rather than pointing fingers at my fetishes and kinks as if they were the root of the discussion.
Here is the logic behind what is being said to you, let me see if I can phrase it in a way that is not offensive to your sensibilities. You say that trying to get someone one a pay site and someone expecting obedience from someone just because they are subs are the same thing. Others and I have said no it is not the same thing, one thing is wrong expectations and the other is spam. It is also mentioned that you because of your background might be getting more of this type of spam than most of us and that therefore it is a bigger problem for you since you seam to the scammers to be more likely to buy their product, without anyone saying that what they think is actually true.
quote:
Certainly one has the opportunity to disagree with my logic or thinking but basing their arguments against or even for what I am saying by pointing out in what I view as a negative terms to describe me does not foster a good discussion. Apparently many are trying to convince me that people of my sort are more prone to being "targeted" (which is different than calling someone a target) than other kinds of kinks here but let me remind the whole community and especially those in this particular thread, that we all are "targets" with the various social stigmas concerning BDSM and to think that one is more a target than another is to ignore the fact that when one of our members of the community becomes a target we all become a target whether we like it or not.
Ok I will try one more time. Let us say you are selling robotic pool cleaners, which house are you likely to target to try to sell your little robotic wonders? A home with a pool or a apartment building flat? Now are saying that people who own swimming pools are targets for pool cleaning robot salesmen somehow demeaning them? Or is it just pointing out a fact, if you own a pool you are more likely to buy a robot to clean it than if you live in a flat?
I wish you well
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