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RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 7:35:55 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Ummm... how is your wife having a playmate equate to you, the husband still being hot and sexy? Wouldn't that mean that the third would find your wife hot and sexy?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arymuzs

My wife and I have been using this site for over a week now, but ain't getting any play... I know we' re not super kinky, but I didn't think I would feel this aw km ward and unwanted trying to set up a 3 way on a bdsm webpage... please have there be a hot girl in here to tell me that I'm still sexy and I haven't lost my edgesomebody say something inspiring lol



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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Arymuzs)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 7:58:40 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		So maybe he's learned the answer to his question, and nobody thinks of him as hot and sexy.

Shaking head at some people. Look op, either the two of you need to date as a couple or you hire an escort.

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(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 8:58:21 PM   
Arymuzs


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline 		Ur missing the point... we're not having relationship problems, far from it actually... we just wanna play... I really thought u guys of all ppl would understand that...I'm glad my wife is on my side, now I really feel like a prev. .. thanx lol

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 9:14:09 PM   
MAINEiacMISTRESS


Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arymuzs

Could you recommend a good site??? Thank you for the input


Actually CollarMe is more a social networking site than a "sex hookup" site. Although there are a lot of people here hoping for romance, many of us here are monogamously married and are purely seeking D/s friendships, or just plain friendships, and many are actually here for "CHASTITY lock-ups"--no sex there. I think a swingers' website might prove more fruitful....or scan through "groups" on that OTHER site, F.L.

Good luck.

--MM

< Message edited by MAINEiacMISTRESS -- 6/22/2013 9:17:23 PM >

(in reply to Arymuzs)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 9:29:41 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Oh my God, OP. You should apply for a full refund at once! You should have been hand delivered pussy direct to your door within the first 60 seconds of creating your ad. A whole week?!?! You must be highly traumatized that women aren't beating down your door on the regular. This by far is the saddest thing I've ever read. I think I literally just felt my heart split into a thousand pieces over this sorrow

On a more serious note, what exactly did you expect?

(in reply to MAINEiacMISTRESS)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 11:03:28 PM   
Arymuzs


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/14/2013
Status: offline 		Ok, I'm sorry I got confused... I thought when a girl says that she is actively looking for a couple to do crazy sexual things with, ididn't realize that it meant something different... maybe I should try something different... thanks for cleari g that up for me

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 11:12:57 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		You're welcome. Glad to shatter the illusion that a kink site is like shooting fish in a barrel. Might I suggest some patience and perhaps seeing these women as human beings...not tools to stroke your self esteem and/or reaffirm your need to be told you are sexy? Might work better and get you the results you desire. You're also welcome for that freebie piece of advice. Now you can say you got something from a kink site. Don't say I never gave you anything

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 6/22/2013 11:13:22 PM >

(in reply to Arymuzs)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 11:30:49 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Ok, I'm sorry I got confused... I thought when a girl says that she is actively looking for a couple to do crazy sexual things with, ididn't realize that it meant something different...


Beg pardon, Arymuzs. What makes you suppose the person who wrote that wasn't stroking himself at the time?

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simul justus et peccator
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(in reply to Arymuzs)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: disappointed - 6/22/2013 11:39:23 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arymuzs

Ok, I'm sorry I got confused... I thought when a girl says that she is actively looking for a couple to do crazy sexual things with, ididn't realize that it meant something different... maybe I should try something different... thanks for cleari g that up for me


All sarcasm aside... What you need to remember is that even if a girl is looking for wild, crazy sex, she also has certain desires herself. She could have kink interests that conflict with your own. She could have a thing for midgets, and yeah, that leaves you out, but hey, to each their own.

You have an idea in your head of what you want, right? So do the ladies out there. Finding ideas and interests that match, even for a one-nighter, is going to be a trial and error process. Taking specific ideas in your head, then limiting your geographical area in which they can live, be single, and share your interests makes it easier to determine what you want, but also makes it harder to get what you want.

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There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to Arymuzs)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 12:34:10 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arymuzs

Ur missing the point... we're not having relationship problems, far from it actually... we just wanna play... I really thought u guys of all ppl would understand that...I'm glad my wife is on my side, now I really feel like a prev. .. thanx lol


There's nothing wrong with what you are looking for. It's just that there are tons of people looking for it, and not much of it about.

The woman you are looking for must be:
-bisexual (or flexible enough that she's ok with sex with a woman while a man watches) - so that's all the straight women out
-unattached or in a relationship where her partner doesn't mind her having sex without him - so that's a lot of people out
-ok with casual sex - so that rules out everyone looking for a relationship
-getting what she needs from this arrangement - even a single woman up for casual sex might not like the idea of acting out a role in your fantasy. Since you're not inviting her into the relationship in any way beyond a booty call on your schedule, a lot of people are going to feel like the 'blow up doll' in that scenario.
-ok with sharing - the more people involved the higher the risks of emotional complications and STDs - three people, all potentially sleeping with other people = more risk of catching something which affects all of you
- local enough to meet and fuck - so that rules out everyone further away
-attractive to you - which will automatically rule out people in certain age groups, certain appearances etc

So when you find this rare woman, you are in competition with a LOT of other couples who want the same thing. She can pick and choose. She probably never ends up searching on a site like this because what she wants is easy to find. If she does get here she is swamped by requests so you have hard work to make yourself stand out.

This is a much riskier situation for the woman. You two have each other. You have someone to fall back on emotionally if it turns sour. You have another person there on your side if she turned out to be a violent person - she on the other hand is all alone and if you guys turn out to be dangerous, it's 2 against one. She will be the one ditched when it's over. She is the one least likely to get her sexual needs met because you two know each other and care about each other and have this shared fantasy - she is the interchangable toy in this (you guys might be super considerate and make sure she has a good time, but not everyone does and she doesn't know you yet). And lastly, if she meets someone who has potential to be a primary partner for her, you guys will likely be forgotten. Almost everybody wants to be first priority to someone, and very few people are ok with their partners going off having threesomes without them therefore you will rank lower than potential Ms/Mr Right.

So you see now why expecting it to happen within a week was unrealistic? That doesn't make you a 'perve' but I hope you understand why people get frustrated by the assumption that you join a kink site and it's easy to get women into bed with you - it misses the point that those women are all looking to have their own needs met and not just warm bodies waiting for you.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Arymuzs)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 12:42:21 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		Don't forget that there are some women who do have mental issues that will engage in dangerous sex practices. You have to make sure that they are DDF, not a boozer or have a jealous boyfriend.

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You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 7:00:29 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arymuzs

Ok, I'm sorry I got confused... I thought when a girl says that she is actively looking for a couple to do crazy sexual things with, ididn't realize that it meant something different... maybe I should try something different... thanks for cleari g that up for me


But that does not mean that she wants to have indiscriminate sex with strangers... and it does not mean that you and your wife are necessarily her type.... and it doesn't even mean that you are trying to communicate with a woman. There are plenty of men who like to enact their hot fantasies by creating "hot", female profiles.

Are you messaging just the hot women or are you messaging women who could be considered "average".
If you are sending messages to hot women then you need to know that Google image search and Tineye are your friends.

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(in reply to Arymuzs)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 9:17:22 AM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		OP, hire an escort. That way you get what you want, she walks away with her cash, and nobody expects any more. from the arrangement. It really would be the easiest way of accomplishing your fantasy. Sadly for you, as many people have pointed out, a lot of kinky people only want to play within a committed relationship. Your scenario has very little appeal for most.

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Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 9:51:24 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I've never understood how some people equate being kinky with being easy.

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(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 10:26:27 AM   
freedomdwarf1


Posts: 6845
Joined: 10/23/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I've never understood how some people equate being kinky with being easy.

Spot on OG!

And aside from the obvious of only being on here a week, Athena gave some damned good reasons why they haven't had such a good response as they expected.
They are unicorn hunters in a world full of the same and they have narrowed their search criteria right down to one in a gazillion of potential playmates where the pool is all but empty.

Good luck to the OP - I think they are going to need it.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 10:46:31 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, it sounds like all you want is lesbian NSA sex while your man watches. That has nothing to do with the world of kink. Why not just go to a lesbian bar and try to pick someone up, and then mention that your man will be watching?

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to freedomdwarf1)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 2:02:16 PM   
Determinist


Posts: 38
Joined: 4/20/2013
Status: offline 		I find it odd that the profile is apparently written by the woman, looking for a woman to play with, but the poster is the man talking about how he can't find someone for a threesome. Having been involved in threesomes, right from the 'looking for' bit, this would be a red flag to me. Possibly innocent, but still . . . too paranoid?

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 2:10:23 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I think Ms.Kitty has the best idea.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Determinist)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 7:29:19 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arymuzs

My wife and I have been using this site for over a week now, but ain't getting any play... I know we' re not super kinky, but I didn't think I would feel this aw km ward and unwanted trying to set up a 3 way on a bdsm webpage... please have there be a hot girl in here to tell me that I'm still sexy and I haven't lost my edgesomebody say something inspiring lol



ooohhhh.....a WHOLE week!!!

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Arymuzs)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: disappointed - 6/23/2013 7:33:37 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		go to a bar. Stay till closing. Find the last drunk chick walking out the door alone.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 40
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