RE: First time jitters

RE: First time jitters (Full Version)

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Subgirl1010 -> RE: First time jitters (6/25/2013 12:52:58 PM)
That is not what I meant. He controls other aspects of my life. We have met in public and he has given me simple tasks to complete. I don't even know what dungeon play is lmao

theRose4U -> RE: First time jitters (6/25/2013 2:19:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Subgirl1010 Have been talking for quite a while. We have met in person and we get along very well. I do trust him. I know that he will not push me further than what I can handle and we have discussed that topic at length. I think it's just that I've never really done this before and also that I very much want to please him. I guess I'm worried that my inexperience is going to be a hindrance, that ill forget some detail of what he expects and will make a mistake I would wonder why he hasn't done things that make you feel more comfortable? If you've met this guy more than once has he given you a slap on the ass bringin you home from an otherwise vanilla date? Pulled your hair while kissing? Nerves are a way your mind uses to reconcile I want to do x, with fear. While its normal to be nervous, I'm thinking you don't know this person well enough & phone calls have been detailed "what he's going to do to you" instead of getting to know who you are & how your mind works. Slow down the train, if you aren't ready don't pressure yourself to perform. Just because he talks to you about tying you up, whipping you with a spatula, filling your pussy with pineapple & setting fireworks off your nipples...DOES NOT mean the first time you are with him kink or sexually must include all those things. Try a real date, getting to know him & being hot with desire (or not) before you fuck a relative stranger.

littlewonder -> RE: First time jitters (6/25/2013 4:53:52 PM)
This is no different than any other new relationship, be it bdsm or vanilla. Treat it the same.

kiwisub12 -> RE: First time jitters (6/25/2013 4:59:31 PM)
Relax, enjoy the fun, don't sweat the small stuff. hmm - there's a good title for a book [:)] and you'll do fine.

BambiBoi -> RE: First time jitters (6/25/2013 7:18:33 PM)
I forgot, what was your safeword?

GotSteel -> RE: First time jitters (6/25/2013 7:29:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Subgirl1010 I know I'm new to this but something that bothers me is how people ask condescending questions. I call him Master because that's what he is and that's what works for us. Just because someone does not do things the way that you would do them does not mean they are doing it wrong. Stop making people feel bad because they do things differently or just don't know any better. Well put, one would think that a group of people judged for not adhering to societies norms wouldn't be so quick to do the same thing to each other....but one would be wrong. That said when some of what your getting clearly doesn't apply to you don't take it personally, the people you're talking to at the moment don't know you well enough to give you informed personal advice. They're just making assumptions about the unknowns in your situation. Think of it sort of like a Rorschach test, what people are saying tells you more about them than it does about you.

Kirata -> RE: First time jitters (6/25/2013 11:47:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Subgirl1010 My first session with my Master is set to happen in a few days and I am so nervous. We have discussed everything that he felt I should know and I've asked him tons of questions but I still have this fear that I'm going to screw up or disappoint him in some way. I haven't read all the other replies, but here's my response to that situation: Relax. It's not your job to please me. Your job is to obey. Seeing to it that you please me is MY job. K.

sexyred1 -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 12:00:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel quote: ORIGINAL: Subgirl1010 I know I'm new to this but something that bothers me is how people ask condescending questions. I call him Master because that's what he is and that's what works for us. Just because someone does not do things the way that you would do them does not mean they are doing it wrong. Stop making people feel bad because they do things differently or just don't know any better. Well put, one would think that a group of people judged for not adhering to societies norms wouldn't be so quick to do the same thing to each other....but one would be wrong. That said when some of what your getting clearly doesn't apply to you don't take it personally, the people you're talking to at the moment don't know you well enough to give you informed personal advice. They're just making assumptions about the unknowns in your situation. Think of it sort of like a Rorschach test, what people are saying tells you more about them than it does about you. Oh please...another defense of overly sensitive newbies. She got nice advice and because she did not hear exactly what she wanted, she accuses people of being condescending. If you can't stand the heat (or questions asking for clarity), don't post. Simple solution.

crazyml -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 12:15:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kirata quote: ORIGINAL: Subgirl1010 My first session with my Master is set to happen in a few days and I am so nervous. We have discussed everything that he felt I should know and I've asked him tons of questions but I still have this fear that I'm going to screw up or disappoint him in some way. I haven't read all the other replies, but here's my response to that situation: Relax. It's not your job to please me. Your job is to obey. Seeing to it that you please me is MY job. K. <tips hat>

Subgirl1010 -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 3:55:30 AM)
I'm not being overly sensitive. I just expect people to be polite and not try to bring others down. I really could care less what any one thinks. I said the thing I did so that perhaps the next sub who is sensitive and comes looking for help won't get the same bullshit that I did. It's simple... A person asks a question. They want an answer to that question. They do not want you to pick apart everything that they said and tell them everything you don't agree with. Have a lovely day bratty bitches

kiwisub12 -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 4:01:07 AM)
Sorry Buttercup - you don't get to control what happens to a thread once it leaves your computer. People take things and run with them, and sometimes things drift away - to where no-one knows. And getting bitchy about it doesn't help.

Subgirl1010 -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 4:03:24 AM)
No it doesn't but it makes me feel better lol.

tazzygirl -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 4:06:45 AM)
Do you? Do you honestly feel better? Perhaps you should ask your Master how he feels about this thread.

poise -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 4:25:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL:Subgirl1010 My first session with my Master is set to happen in a few days We have discussed everything that he felt I should know Is this how other first time subs feel? quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Have you actually met this man before, face to face? I also wonder that you're calling someone that you've never had a "session" with "Master". And lastly, a good Dominant would take a first time play session at the pace of the submissive. So, it's up to him to make sure you're doing okay, not the other way around. quote: ORIGINAL:Subgirl1010 I'm not being overly sensitive. I just expect people to be polite and not try to bring others down. One of the best ways to offer advice to a brand new submissive is to first flesh out what degree/amount of interaction she has had with the person they are asking advice about. As a new submissive yourself, and someone who is new to the forums, you may not realize how many women get caught up in sub frenzy, that they completely miss red flags, and meet with someone who doesn't have your best interest in mind. What you see in Oside's post as criticism, other new submissives might see as an eye opener. quote: ORIGINAL:Subgirl1010 perhaps the next sub who is sensitive and comes looking for help won't get the same bullshit. Have a lovely day bratty bitches I still have this fear that I'm going to screw up or disappoint him in some way Judging by your reaction here, your fear is justified.

Charles6682 -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 4:28:58 AM)
Even after years of doing this, I still get nervous,butterflies in my stomach just before I do a "session". Theres always a lot of "what if's". But just go with the flow and everything will take care of itself.

OsideGirl -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 8:40:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise What you see in Oside's post as criticism, other new submissives might see as an eye opener. Here's the thing: Without body language, voice inflection, and facial expression these are just words on a screen. We put our own biases onto those words. She chose to interpret those words as calling her an idiot and being condescending when that wasn't the intention. (To the point where she felt that she had post about it over and over in a 2 page thread) So, that's her duck. She's chosen to be offended and make an assumption about why I made that statement rather than asking why that would be something that I think is important to explore. Apparently, she feels that I've peed in her Cheerios, so I'll remove myself from her conversations.

Subgirl1010 -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 8:45:35 AM)
I was warned that you would come back with a smart ass comment. Doesn't seem that I'm the only one irritated by you lmao

tazzygirl -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 9:18:20 AM)
So you allow others to determine who is and who isnt attacking you?

DesFIP -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 11:27:24 AM)
Judging by your refusal to learn anything other than you already know, which is damn little, I foresee the op coming back shortly saying he wasn't a true dom. A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose. I strongly suggest you lose yours.

sexyred1 -> RE: First time jitters (6/26/2013 1:08:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Subgirl1010 No it doesn't but it makes me feel better lol. Yeah, ok. Like it made you feel better to send me a private email asking me what the fuck is wrong with me for posting on your thread, and by the way, since you seem to have reading comprehension issues, I was replying to GotSteel, NOT you. Cupcake, take it somewhere else, ok?

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