I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relationship death?

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[Poll]

I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relationship death?

Yes, the other person would give specific things they like about you.

4% (1)

No, that is a legitimate answer.

29% (7)

Yes, it is legitimate answer

12% (3)

No, I would not be happy to recieve an answer like that

20% (5)

Yes, I would be fine with that answer

25% (6)

You're just screwed get over it

8% (2)

Total Votes : 24

(last vote on : 7/22/2013 8:38:06 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relationsh... - 6/25/2013 2:35:54 PM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
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That is the answer I got when I asked a guy that I would like a potential relationship with to name one thing he liked about me. FYI this is not a new just started talking to person, this is someone I have known and been around for over a year.

Post #: 1

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 3:04:08 PM

tommonymous

Posts: 404
Joined: 1/21/2013
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Do you want it to be the relationship kiss of death? Then don't let it be.

That's not to say that other potential issues will never rear their ugly heads, but there's no reason to make something an issue if you don't feel it is. Also, it depends heavily on the quality of the "like". "I prefer spending time with you to a trip to the dentist." is wholly different than "I prefer spending time with you to basically anything else." And that's only something you (and he) can assess.

_____________________________

"Remember kids. Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it doesn't happen at all." --Hillwilliam

And just because it worked for you, doesn't mean it will (or ought to) work for everyone.

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 2

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 3:11:34 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
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I wouldn't consider it one thing in every situation. In this one however, I might consider looking in another direction. If he hasn't let you know any more than that in this amount of time... he most likely won't. Hoping and dreaming and thinking it might be in his kiss... make for good songs and stories, but real life nightmares of our own making.

(in reply to tommonymous)

Post #: 3

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 3:12:01 PM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Thank you, those are valid points and the reason I started the poll. Wanted to get other opinions and views that maybe I am missing

(in reply to tommonymous)

Post #: 4

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 3:17:21 PM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

The only other question I have asked him is why does he hang out with me... his answer is I take all his worries away when he is with me... I don't even know what to think of that one...

(in reply to Rawni)

Post #: 5

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 3:19:27 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

That is the answer I got when I asked a guy that I would like a potential relationship with to name one thing he liked about me. FYI this is not a new just started talking to person, this is someone I have known and been around for over a year.

Why did you ask for one thing he liked about you?

If someone said they liked being around me, I would take that as a positive.

Although after a year, it would seem if something was going to happen further, it would have unless there were other circumstances.

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 6

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 3:23:04 PM

Rawni

Posts: 1175
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

The only other question I have asked him is why does he hang out with me... his answer is I take all his worries away when he is with me... I don't even know what to think of that one...

I am very different than you are, but I tend to look at this from different places throughout life. Early on, I would have felt encouraged that he was comfortable with me and I was his comfy spot. That would fill me with hope and encouragement and I would listen to all the songs I mentioned above.

Then I learned a thing or two and learned never to put hope in the unavailable that was only available in a comfy sense and could go no further unless it was into the bedroom and you know I love ya baby, I don't need to say it or show it. I'm here aren't I?

I deserve better and if thats what you have going on... Somebody can love ya better.

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 7

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 3:36:03 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SinFix

The only other question I have asked him is why does he hang out with me... his answer is I take all his worries away when he is with me... I don't even know what to think of that one...

I should have read your original post a second time.

After a year, I would say you have reached the status of sister, look but dont touch, virtual incest situation.

I have gotten the same statement from a few women that I was trying to develop into a more intense relationship. Granted I have two of the very best friends I could ever want, but sometimes, I think of what might have been.

_____________________________

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(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 8

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 3:58:31 PM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Sexy... I asked as we were having a discussion about something today and he has asked me what I like about him, why I hang around him, ect. but I had never asked him so decided to ask him. Then randomly asked my other best friend to name one thing he liked... his answer was more in line with what I would have thought the first guy to say, second guy named three things and asked if I needed more...

Rawni... Part of me sees it as hope and encouragement but my age tells me to hold off on it and see what happens... and no it isn't like that between us, yes we have had sex but not with the I love you thing going on...

Jeff.... we are best friends and he will always be a best friend.. I would be a liar if I said I didn't want more eventually but not going to wait for the what-ifs either

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 9

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 6:29:16 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

You've been "Friend Zoned"

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Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 10

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 6:33:07 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He may want more but be afraid to lose you as a friend and safe place if you're uninterested. If you want more, why don't you ask him point blank if he does as well?

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(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 11

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 8:23:26 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

You've been "Friend Zoned"

My thoughts exactly. When someone tells me they like being around me, I just assume they mean as a friend. They like hanging out with me. I'd say you've been relegated to friend status.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 12

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 8:26:40 PM

wittynamehere

Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline

The "poll" answers are ridiculous, and none apply to me, but here's what I think about "I like being around you": If I didn't hear that from someone, or at least know that's how someone felt, I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them. So I'm exactly the opposite of you - I REQUIRE that in order to be in a relationship. It strikes me as incredible that you were upset to hear it, but to each their own of course.

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(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 13

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 8:35:25 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

I was going to say hes gay...

but you've already had sex... so... I dunno.

Having sex, then going back to no sex... not a good sign...

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530 DAYS

(in reply to wittynamehere)

Post #: 14

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 8:40:55 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

not really. I have a friend who I had sex with. We tried a few more times but it just didn't work out that way. To this day we're still friends. We just joke around about the sex now and tease each other about it.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 6/25/2013 8:41:13 PM >

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Post #: 15

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 8:53:43 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
Status: offline

yer... Sin wants to be more than friends eventually...
I'd like to stay friends with all the girls I fall out of lust with but I've found if they want more and I don't supply that... they don't last long.

I had a long time female friend that I fooled around with a bit... I cut the fooling around last year but wanted to stay friends, haven't heard from her in like 6 months haha... So much for friends I guess...

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Post #: 16

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 9:12:32 PM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
Status: offline

If I remember correctly, my (now) husband said something along the lines of this to me and didn't exactly make me happy. Now, though, I see it as a great answer. Besides the fact that he didn't want to be put on the spot to list my redeeming qualities as if rehearsed, wanting to be with me was most important to him. So, I don't think that the answer is a relationship killer. Seems to me if after a year he has showed no interest in more, there most likely won't be - doesn't mean it's not possible.

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 17

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/25/2013 9:53:56 PM

Spiritedsub2

Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline

fast reply

I don't think what he said is bad news in a vacuum, but it's coupled with a year of nothing progressing, so I would agree that he has put you two in Friendsville. That is, unless there is an outside reason for the "delay", like finishing a divorce, significant financial problems, health issues, big distractor issue. People generally pursue what they want, directly or passively.

It's hard to let go of that; maybe let it go now and move on for yourself, because he can always find you if the time becomes right.

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(in reply to theshytype)

Post #: 18

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/26/2013 5:02:54 AM

SinFix

Posts: 866
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Hilly and LW... I tend to lean towards that as well....
Des... That is possible, we got in an arguement/fight a couple of months ago and he made the statement of I'm glad I haven't told you how I really feel about you (implying that he had deeper feelings)

Aries... lol, no he isn't gay.. We hold off on the sex as not to muddy the waters right now, though occasionally our chemistry just pushes us into it....

Witty.. I see your point, it isn't so much that it is a bad thing, I was just I guess hoping to hear something more along the lines of the second guy...

Shy... I'm glad that you could see it for what is was in the end.. I should probably do the same thing

Spirited... yes there are reasons we have been friends for the past year..

I added in the part about knowing him for a year not because I have wanted more than friendshipduring the past year but to give everybody an idea of how long I had known him.. I stuck with him and helped him through his darkest days.. I didn't mean to fall for him but well you can't always control when you fall...

And Aries, yes if nothing else but friendship is in the cards then I will be his friend...

Thank you everybody for the insight.. My reaction was not the best and I wanted to step back from it, get other opinions and assess the information rationally not just emotionally...

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)

Post #: 19

RE: I like being around you. Is that the kiss of relati... - 6/26/2013 5:51:11 AM

Kirata

Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
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I can't think of a better answer, or one I'd more like to hear. When they start getting into specifics, you know right away that some things about you aren't going to be on the list. Heh.

K.

(in reply to SinFix)

Post #: 20

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