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Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 2:53:12 AM

Missdressed

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I don't know how many of you are in the UK and will know what that means, but she is 11 and will be going to a new school in September.

I'm in an area where we have the grammar system. Kids do an exam at 11 and that determines the school they go to for their secondary education.

She is very small (this is relevant I promise). She is 11 and wearing age 7 clothes.

When she went to school at first she was bullied because she was small. None would sit with her treat lunch, she was made to sit alone, she was punched and pushed and hit in the playground. Or left alone with no one to play with her. The staff joined in and despite me trying to get things to change it was a disaster.

The culmination was when a child put a skipping rope around her neck, pulled both ends and said "x I hate you I'm going to make you dead"

Went in to see the head and he told us that she was the problem, she couldn't socialise or cope with normal interactions and that she would never make a grammar school and that in his opinion she had learning difficulties.

I moved her school the next day. The children sent home a card to say "x we hate you. Never forget you have foes we will always be looking for you"

She went to her new school into p2 and couldn't read write or count and was a beaten down unhappy wee girl.

Not now. She's for a grammar in September. She's happy and popular with lots of friends. The new school were amazing and fabulous and utterly utterly brilliant.

And I have no idea why I even writing this. Except that I'm proud of her and proud of the school and just sad that I didn't move her sooner.

And no2 son has graduated. And no1 son is about to graduate. With a first. And he is getting the presidents award for being the top final year student in the whole Uni. And he has a severe hearing loss and he is off to do medicine as a graduate in sept.

I am very proud. And grateful. And blessed. And I better get my tissues ready for pick up time lol

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 4:49:36 AM

MissKittyDeVine

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The best revenge someone can have on bullies is to do well. Your girl will go much further than her bullies ever will.

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 5:07:20 AM

Missdressed

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Thank you.

I know - I'm massively proud of her (if not too happy about the dripping wet clothes - they had a water fight lol)

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 5:31:43 AM

DarkSteven

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Children were threatening to murder her, and it was all her fault? The whole school is out of control.

Glad your kiddos are doing well!

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 7:14:21 AM

Missdressed

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Oh but, you see, it's not the other child's fault. It was all her fault because she couldn't cope with normal playground rough and tumble. So said the Principal.

By the time I was finished with him he needed a cup of hot sweet tea.

She never went back after that.

But, you know what, it was the best thing that could have happened because it had all been grumbling along for months and he wasn't getting his finger out his behind to do anything and as soon as that happened I just pulled her out of the school - no more pissing about.

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 7:32:16 AM

tommonymous

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Lemons and lemonade, bad things and good reasons, et al.

It sounds like you have good reason to be excited and happy for all three of your kids. Apparently, you did something right.

Thanks for posting this, reading it was a nice way to start my day.

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 8:02:26 AM

FrostedFlake

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I'm going to take the opposite tack. I have experience with bullies, you see. I'm the fellow who had to drink a quart of pop to weigh enough to enlist.

There is a reason Bullies bully. It's fun. The more upset the victim gets, the more fun it is. The notion that anyone except the victim can do anything about it is not supported by experience. The one thing I have noted that ends the social cycle a keen observer may note between the bullies and the rest of us is the victim himself hurting the bully, worse than he ever supposed possible.

I've noticed the victim tends to be 'punished' by authority when the victim defends himself with sufficient vigor to be effective. Don't let that worry you. There is little an authority figure can actually do and that pales when compared to the honor of being a bullys' favorite. Further, the authority figure is not interested in justice, it is QUIET that is valued by authority. Quiet is not the same thing as peace. From that point of view, there is really very little difference between a victim submitting quietly and the opposite situation of a victim counterattacking and thus ending the contest... except of course for that one brief instant of physical contact. Which could hardly pass unnoticed. Because it amounts to playground revolution. Big news, at the principles office. But the repercussions are brief and less drastic than dealing with bullies daily. And one should not neglect the compensatory value of RESPECT that comes of acting decisively to counter a threat. If pressed, I always took the position that I did nothing the other guy hadn't. Except, of course, pick up that stick...

Adopting one of my more serious tones of voice : If it were my daughter I was talking about, I would encourage her to turn what might be weaknesses into strengths. There are some things small people do better than big ones. Gymnastics is one of them. Gymnasts also make excellent martial artists. Let us at this point visualize your daughter graduating school with a varsity letter and a black belt. She seems like a popular young lady to me.

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 10:02:05 AM

Missdressed

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Frosted I can identify with much of what you said.

No1 son was bullied due to his deafness - it made his speech slow and he has a speech impediment even now. People underestimate him because he talks slow, they equate that with stupid and he is anything but stupid.

He was bullied when he first went to secondary school and the school were ineffective in dealing with it and it wasn't stopping. He was shown how to hit hard enough to take them down and make them stay down. He only ever had to do it once. And he's grown to have an impressive physique - he rows, you know, in a boat, with oars - at a fairly high level (I don't want to say too much I'd be identifiable)

We sent the smaller one to martial arts - she hated it. She does want to do gymnastics but it hasn't been an option up to now, but I'm hoping the new school will give her the chance to do it.

But thank you all so much - it feels like the end of an era, she's off to the "big school" in September and it all changes.

Sorry for the ramble

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 10:56:22 AM

Missdressed

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Her school report says

"X has had a very successful primary education here at Yschool and I have no doubt that she is very strongly placed to commence year 8. X, you should be very proud of your achievements. Just continue to be as full of life and fun in the future. You have been a pleasure to teach and I shall miss your smiling happy face next year. You will be greatly missed here at Yschool by everyone, but we hope you will not forget us, our door is always open if you want to call in and see us." And the headmistress added - "Love and best wishes from us all in the years to come X."

Could you actually want a better report? The academic stuff is second to that in my opinion, she's been happy, she's enjoyed her time, and they think well of her. I call that a RESULT.

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 4:20:40 PM

Killerangel

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All of that is awesome!!!

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RE: Today my baby leaves primary school. - 6/28/2013 4:36:00 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missdressed

I don't know how many of you are in the UK and will know what that means, but she is 11 and will be going to a new school in September.

I'm in an area where we have the grammar system. Kids do an exam at 11 and that determines the school they go to for their secondary education.

She is very small (this is relevant I promise). She is 11 and wearing age 7 clothes.

When she went to school at first she was bullied because she was small. None would sit with her treat lunch, she was made to sit alone, she was punched and pushed and hit in the playground. Or left alone with no one to play with her. The staff joined in and despite me trying to get things to change it was a disaster.

The culmination was when a child put a skipping rope around her neck, pulled both ends and said "x I hate you I'm going to make you dead"

Went in to see the head and he told us that she was the problem, she couldn't socialise or cope with normal interactions and that she would never make a grammar school and that in his opinion she had learning difficulties.

I moved her school the next day. The children sent home a card to say "x we hate you. Never forget you have foes we will always be looking for you"

She went to her new school into p2 and couldn't read write or count and was a beaten down unhappy wee girl.

Not now. She's for a grammar in September. She's happy and popular with lots of friends. The new school were amazing and fabulous and utterly utterly brilliant.

And I have no idea why I even writing this. Except that I'm proud of her and proud of the school and just sad that I didn't move her sooner.

And no2 son has graduated. And no1 son is about to graduate. With a first. And he is getting the presidents award for being the top final year student in the whole Uni. And he has a severe hearing loss and he is off to do medicine as a graduate in sept.

I am very proud. And grateful. And blessed. And I better get my tissues ready for pick up time lol