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RE: Applying to serve - 7/1/2013 8:06:51 AM

goodgirlmary

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

MsDomina, my first contact in the scene almost 20 years ago was the driving force behind developing tea service, at least on the west coast, as a fetish. She had a very early web presence and posted a lot of info about it so it got picked up.by a lot of people.

To be a male submissive and serve at the all female Domme event you had to attend THEIR training which was custom to their event and not overly universal.

Northern Ca Teas

neat thanks

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RE: Applying to serve - 7/1/2013 5:07:50 PM

TNDommeK

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

To me, training can be something like this: Dom X tells his slave to contact him every morning when she wakes up and every night before bed. Enough nights and mornings of this, the Dom no longer has to tell her to do so. She is trained to do this now.

Might not be a great example but it IS an example.

And your post shows EXACTLY why training is a bullshit concept. That works for THAT relationship but her next master sleeps in late, doesnt want or need petty control, etc.

Its as stupid as me saying I license people to train submissives in style 2.7 or something. There is no standard to train people for!

Hopefully one would be smart enough to differentiate between Dom X and all doms...thus, why I said Dom X. Keep up with me now. What works for DomX might not work for other doms but his training works for their household.

Lizi, yes you're right that would be the same, but using your example, lets say you put the trash out every Wednesday and you later moved to a neighborhood where trash pickup is on Tuesday.would there not be a couple of times you forget and put trash out on Wednesday? Your brain is trained to do the Wednesday thing. When a person starts a new job, they are trained for that job...how is that training any different?

Mary, every house is different. If a dominant trains his subs, it's how he chooses to do it. The brat has lived here for six years under hubby's training, the other slave was here for four, until complications with her moms health. So yea, do the math on what works.

Everywhere is different, what works for Micheal may not work for us, lizi's house may be different as well. But if things work, then it's their right way. Don't get stuck on labels and what others think is bullshit. Do you and what works for you.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 7/1/2013 5:12:57 PM >

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Post #: 42

RE: Applying to serve - 7/1/2013 6:14:01 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Hopefully one would be smart enough to differentiate between Dom X and all doms...thus, why I said Dom X. Keep up with me now. What works for DomX might not work for other doms but his training works for their household.

Lizi, yes you're right that would be the same, but using your example, lets say you put the trash out every Wednesday and you later moved to a neighborhood where trash pickup is on Tuesday.would there not be a couple of times you forget and put trash out on Wednesday? Your brain is trained to do the Wednesday thing. When a person starts a new job, they are trained for that job...how is that training any different?

Mary, every house is different. If a dominant trains his subs, it's how he chooses to do it. The brat has lived here for six years under hubby's training, the other slave was here for four, until complications with her moms health. So yea, do the math on what works.

Everywhere is different, what works for Micheal may not work for us, lizi's house may be different as well. But if things work, then it's their right way. Don't get stuck on labels and what others think is bullshit. Do you and what works for you.

Yes, you hit upon exactly what I'm talking about, getting up on time for work and putting out the trash are things we just learn to do as normal adults. Does someone actually need to sit down and walk us through the concept of when to put the trash out more than once? I just don't call that training. If my partner asked me to call him twice a day and I do that, I don't think he trained me to do it, he requested it and I did it. Just like getting up for work.

The concept of BDSM training is just kind of silly...to me. It seems like there is all this artificial importance put upon simple things that we should be able to do as functioning adults like contacting our SO's or whatever. It's kind of like calling serving a can of Chef Boy Ardee ravioli- dinner, sure you heat it up and throw in a dish but did you "cook" it? No. Why would I call being able to put out the trash consistently being trained in the art of trash pickup?

To me DS's example of flogging - that's training. Any time you are going to sit down and learn a complicated skill in any area of life, then I would say you need to be trained. Just like job training as you mentioned. The stuff that people do in relationships just doesn't match this acquisition of special skills, its rather to me a series of requests instead of this artificial term that seems to bestow special meaning on mundane tasks. This is where the posers and opportunists step in and make a lot of noise about what seems to be nothing in the end but just regular old life/relationship skills. To me fulfilling a request does not = training.

< Message edited by lizi -- 7/1/2013 6:15:52 PM >

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RE: Applying to serve - 7/1/2013 6:38:02 PM

TNDommeK

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I see what you're saying here. This is true. I agree as well on the flogging statement. I think we just all have different methods. I was giving examples to only the things I've heard and seen. Here, we just tell you to do something and expect it done. I guess some would call that training.

Who knows? Everywhere is different.

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RE: Applying to serve - 7/1/2013 6:41:29 PM

OsideGirl

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Joined: 7/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

The concept of BDSM training is just kind of silly...to me.

Especially since to most male "Doms" it's an euphemism for tie you up, beat up and fuck you.

quote:

It seems like there is all this artificial importance put upon simple things that we should be able to do as functioning adults like contacting our SO's or whatever.

I came to the conclusion a long time ago that people make this way harder than it actually is. That is driven by the S's that think D's magically solve problems and the D's that think that S's have no needs, wants or rights.

We're both adults. We approach our relationship, like adults. When he have issues, we work them out, like adults. There is no magic BDSM D/s wand that solves relationship issues if I perform 50 submissive positions. It's more likely solved by remembering that he likes his grilled cheese sandwich cut on the diagonal, which shows courtesy and respect to relationship dynamic that we agreed to.

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RE: Applying to serve - 7/2/2013 5:39:40 AM

chatterbox24

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The word training bothered me at first, then I got used to it. But Its good to trust that funny little feeling in ones guts.
I have limited experience, but I can tell you this, the Dom who used that word training with me, was not a loving dom. It was all about his pleasure, and the sub's needs, wants, rights really weren't considered. So be very careful when a DOM uses the word training. I would guess a high majority of them using that word, are looking for their pleasure only. That's a guess, but one worth mentioning.

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