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submissives marriage - 6/30/2013 7:04:10 AM

dumbdirtyslave

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What do you think about marriage of two subs, so they could be controlled by one Dominant as a couple? Would it be ok for a sub woman to live with a sub husband and to have children with him, or do sub girls prefer to have family with Doms?

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RE: submissives marriage - 6/30/2013 7:08:43 AM

chatterbox24

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Hmmmm...........

Who can answer that? Only you and the sub in question, and the dom. Of course you can if that's what everyone wants and what makes them happy. People on a forum cant really give that kind of inside info, its all very personal stuff preferences. What works for Tom, Dick, or Harry, doesn't mean it would work for anyone else.

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RE: submissives marriage - 6/30/2013 7:11:34 AM

DarkSteven

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1. Two subs getting married? It happens. But if the purpose is to present to a Dom as a couple, that's kinda weird and makes the search harder.
2. Why are you asking if it's okay? Whether we say yes or no is irrelevant.
3. Sub women generally prefer to live with the parents of their children. Non-sub women too.

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RE: submissives marriage - 6/30/2013 11:48:20 AM

LadyPact

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I know your question is phrased as is it ok, but the real question is why would you want to know if it's ok? Are you really in love with somebody who happens to be submissive like you or are you thinking you could work an angle that would make it easier to find a Dominant? Trust Me. I've seen both and the latter scenario isn't as good of an idea as some folks might think.

For what it's worth, s/s couples absolutely do exist, just the same as D/D couples do. (I happen to be one half of a D/D couple.) From the discussions that I've had with those who are, or have been an s/s couple, I've always gotten the impression that it can be rather difficult. Particularly from those who are submissive type personalities, rather than just in the bedroom. More than once, I've been told that such situations failed because neither member was happy because they weren't being fulfilled, even when they loved the other person very much. That even includes those situations where the couple had a Dominant together or each had a Dominant in their lives through various points. In ways, s/s couples face challenges that D/D couples don't.

From a poly standpoint, unless you already have somebody where you have a relationship, I think you might have some difficulty. In a sense, you're looking for a reverse unicorn, being a woman who is willing to submit alongside you and be willing to add a Dominant (or a Dominant couple) to the relationship in the future. That puts you in darn near the same position as the thousands upon thousands of people looking for a third, with the exception that you already know that you can't fulfill her submissive side in what should be the primary relationship. I'm thinking that might be something of a tough sell.

Of course, it's not impossible to have a wonderful relationship with somebody who happens to be on the same side of the kneel. My husband and I have been married over eleven years and we are probably happier now than we've ever been.

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RE: submissives marriage - 6/30/2013 12:20:30 PM

dumbdirtyslave

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No, i'm not in love with somebody. But i thought that if both submissives help each other to serve to the Dominant, it may provide better experience and make relationships deeper.

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RE: submissives marriage - 6/30/2013 4:34:38 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: dumbdirtyslave

No, i'm not in love with somebody. But i thought that if both submissives help each other to serve to the Dominant, it may provide better experience and make relationships deeper.

Right now, you're a submissive man. You're open to either a gay Dom man or a straight Domme.

If you connect with a sub woman, then your search will be limited to bi Dom/mes, and you'll have three times the number of interactions to maintain.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: submissives marriage - 6/30/2013 5:04:25 PM

SomethingCatchy

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Let's say you marry someone just so that you can both serve a dominant person. What happens when your spouse finds someone they want to submit to but you can't stand the guy? What if it's reversed and you find someone that your spouse also likes, but the dominant person can't stand her? And what happens when interests don't mesh up? What happens when sacrifices you're willing to make aren't in line with the stuff your spouse is willing to give up?

And most importantly, where do you get the idea that a dominant person wants you to force them into a relationship with your spouse? Why are you attempting to control this hypothetical dominant by deciding for him/her who they're going to own?

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RE: submissives marriage - 7/1/2013 9:14:03 AM

DesFIP

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I knew a sub/sub couple years ago. They spent a lot of time doing nice things for each other, picking up each others favorite treats when they saw them. They service topped each other as well.

They would go outside the marriage when they met a dominant, if the dominant understood that the spouse came first and that they needed to clear things with the spouse. No fair telling one of them to stay in chastity for six months if the spouse isn't okay with no sex for that time, for example.

And if either one felt that the marriage needed to be closed to work on keeping it strong, they had that right.

It worked well for them until her death.

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RE: submissives marriage - 7/1/2013 10:29:30 AM

OhRose

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Love and marriage doesn't necessarily have to be defined by sexual interests. And I personally don't think the make or break of a relationship should or would be "Are they a Dom/me?". I've had plenty of relationships with other subs, you tend not to focus on what you can't do, but rather on what you can.

As far as both parts of the marriage subbing to one or multiple people goes, that's all down to whether the two people are both comfortable with people or not. What we tell you is irrelevant, and all just a matter of opinion. Opinion that is not in anyway mandatory to follow.

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RE: submissives marriage - 7/1/2013 12:46:08 PM

SimplyMichael

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Only if you are left handed.

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