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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/13/2013 6:26:00 AM

PeonForHer

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Oh hell. I'm sorry, Aylee.

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/13/2013 6:35:12 AM

myotherself

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Aylee I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/13/2013 6:43:54 AM

Toysinbabeland

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Please accept my condolences for your loss.

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/13/2013 7:14:18 AM

MasterCaneman

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I don't know either of those folks as well as some folks here do, but I do know what it means to lose someone you love. My condolences to you and your family, Aylee.

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/13/2013 7:37:57 AM

Yachtie

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So sorry to hear this Aylee.

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/13/2013 8:30:44 AM

Lucylastic

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You , your kidlets and your family are in my thoughts Aylee
*virtual hugs*

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/13/2013 12:52:34 PM

njlauren

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My condolences and my thoughts and prayers are with Aylee and her family. I don't know if it will help, but through the loss of several loved ones, including my parents, the thought that gave me some comfort was the line from the Apologia, where Socrates when people are dismayed at his death sentence tells them "but truly, in life or in death, no harm can come to the good person."

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/13/2013 11:02:08 PM

Aylee

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IN MEMORIAM: ANDREW JOHN DRUMMOND

My best beloved, Andrew John Drummond, passed away on Friday, June 12, 2013. He was 46.

An author whom we both admired wrote about not confusing greatness with perfection and that to be great anyhow was the greater achievement. Andrew was a great man in the ways that matter. He was a carrier of integrity, love of life, and love of family. A person could “catch” those from him. His friends and family wanted to be the type of people that they were in his eyes.

Andrew loved his family. Andrew also loved solving problems—whether it be a social issue, a strategy game, or something his friends were dealing with. My best beloved was one of the smartest people I have ever known.

Andrew has left behind myself, Butterhead, and Roscoe.

I would like to thank all of you for the support that you have shown and the outreach you have offered. It has touched me and made easier this time.

-- Deanna Joy Drummond

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/16/2013 5:24:14 PM

Aylee

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That should have read July 12th.

Anyways, I have set the date for the memorial. I have set up the memorial fund. I have contacted the person to give the eulogy. I have taken care of the funeral home.

My brother-in-law continues to drive me bat-shit-crazy.

I have contemplated starting a thread about it to see just how far this can go before I choose the nuclear option with him.

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/16/2013 6:16:12 PM

kdsub

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Aylee

Take him aside… give him a hug…have a good cry together …and gently tell him how you feel and why…then get blasted and have another good cry…things will get better.

Butch

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/16/2013 6:17:37 PM

Lucylastic

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ifn you need to rant , but not here ....my inbox/phone/email is open....

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/16/2013 7:05:48 PM

littlewonder

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My sincerest condolences Aylee. Just remember that your brother-in-law is grieving in his own way just as you are. You both need to be there for each other and it will help you both get through it as well. I know it can be hard but remind him and you of the good times had with the brother and husband.

I've been where you are and I know how tough it can be to get through. Take it one day at a time and don't let anyone tell you to get over it. Take as much time as you possibly need or want.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me.

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/16/2013 9:34:21 PM

Aylee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My sincerest condolences Aylee. Just remember that your brother-in-law is grieving in his own way just as you are. You both need to be there for each other and it will help you both get through it as well. I know it can be hard but remind him and you of the good times had with the brother and husband.

I've been where you are and I know how tough it can be to get through. Take it one day at a time and don't let anyone tell you to get over it. Take as much time as you possibly need or want.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me.

I have sent you a message and I will call him tonight.

Really though, I am 36. I am an adult woman. I can do this, right?

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Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/16/2013 10:09:54 PM

dcnovice

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quote:

Really though, I am 36. I am an adult woman. I can do this, right?

You can, and you will.

But please don't make your load heavier by packing any expectations or guilt about what you "should" be able to handle or how speedily you "should" bounce back.

Life has dealt you a brutal blow, and there's no shame in reeling from it. As theologian Verna Dozier points out, “A faithful response can be to name the darkness when darkness has been the experience.”

Naming this darkness may take a while--along with tears, fury, numbness, denial, aloofness, neediness, and God knows what else. To borrow from songwriter Christine Lavin, this was the kind of love--and loss--you never fully recover from. Healing comes slowly, in fits and starts.

As it comes (or seems elusive), be as gentle with yourself as you can. You're not failing to "do this"; you're being human.

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/16/2013 10:13:20 PM

njlauren

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Aylee-

One thing I learned about the grieving process (with some help) is that you have to cut yourself some slack (and also be willing to do so for others), that when a loved one dies there is no right way to grieve, and it can be hard when one moment we are holding up and the next it comes crashing down,but that is the nature of it, and it doesn't matter how old you are. The hardest part for me was allowing myself to feel it, I don't grieve easily, and at times it was a struggle and I also learned with my mom what happens if you don't allow it to come out the way it will....allow yourself the time to grieve and forgive yourself for those things you feel you should have done and couldn't or for the things you did and wished you didn't, as my therapist said, it is okay to be less than perfect:).

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RE: Loving thoughts and prayers needed For Aylee - 7/17/2013 2:15:56 AM

calamitysandra

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

Really though, I am 36. I am an adult woman. I can do this, right?

Of course you can, and you will.
However, you will do so in your own time and your own way.

Be kind and gentle with yourself, and don't hesitate to ask for help or to admit that you don't know yet what you need or what the next step is going to be.

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