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DaddySatyr -> 25 Things Not to Say ... (6/30/2013 8:20:45 PM)
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... to O.J. Simpson
DISCLAIMER:
Yes, I know this is not a very current thing but I found an old book and I wanted to share some of the funnier things from it.
I've removed the blatent racist jokes (though one that is border-line remains). I didn't put this in P & R because I am not inviting - in fact, I am discouraging - political cross-talk.
This thread is intended for those with a sense of humor to have some fun with one of America's favorite "whipping boys"
[/DISCLAIMER]
1) Who cut one?
2) That's not a knife. THIS is a knife!
3) Have you driven in a FORD, lately?
4) Avis called. They'd rather stay #2
5) Urkel's going to play you in the made-for-TV-movie.
6) I just came here to return these glasses
7) The bad news is: HERTZ dropped you. The good news is: Ginsu wants to talk.
8) You wanna slice?
9) Can you get Lyle's and Erik's autographs for me?
10) Now ... where did I leave that bloody glove?
11) Can you come over for dinner or do you have to ax your wife, first?
12) Michael Jackson called. Don't worry. He'll take care of your kids.
13) Lorena Bobbitt called. Tomorrow's your conjugal visit.
14) Dionne Warwick called. She sees a chair in your future.
15) The director called. He's cut a few scenes from your new movie.
16) Kato called. He's movin' on up (into your mansion).
17) Prisons are full of people who are "absolutely 100% not guilty".
18) I really enjoy your show on CourtTV
19) Would you autograph my copy of the Enquirer ?
20) There's been a change of venue ... to Mississippi
21) Today is the first day of the rest of your sentence.
22) Just two more lawyers and you'll have enough for a softball team!
23) Your book is on the best seller list ... fiction best seller list.
24) Prince Charles called. He'd love you to meet his wife.
25) The good news: Lance Ito has a terrible memory. Bad news: He remembers Hiroshima.
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