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Revealing secrets - 6/30/2013 11:16:58 PM

tazzygirl

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You are told, or become aware of, information that someone doesnt want to get out. You realize this information could affect many that you care about. Its not life or death information. It could be considered titillating gossip that might make your friends' day. Or it could be something that you feel others should know because it might change their view on certain matters.

Do you talks? Why?

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Post #: 1

RE: Revealing secrets - 6/30/2013 11:24:01 PM

Duskypearls

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Hard to know with only what you've offered. I'd need to know a lot more. What's the secret, what are the dynamics, whose's involved, who might it affect negatively or positively, would it be considered gossip if shared, would the person mind if it was out, etc., etc.

Is this a hypothetical question, Tazz?

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 2

RE: Revealing secrets - 6/30/2013 11:32:10 PM

tazzygirl

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Oh yes, quite hypothetical. I never reveal my secrets unless someone I know is in true danger. Having said that, I was curious as to how others feel about the secrets they are told. I have wrestled with some secrets I have been told in the past.

Im glad you asked, because I didnt even think about saying if its an actual secret or something I was just pondering.

So, why doesnt everyone ponder with me.

Lets assume the person who told you wants it kept secret, but you are wrestling with that decision for various reasons.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Duskypearls)

Post #: 3

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 1:31:14 AM

DarkSteven

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I share with my sub. I very seldom share with anyone else if I consider it confidential.

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Post #: 4

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 5:26:09 AM

TNDommeK

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Hmm, good question. It depends on the situation. If someone could become hurt, yes I'll tell them. If it will cause an uproar in their home but I know nothing will come of it or change anything, no, I don't tell.

I will say depending on the situation.

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Post #: 5

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 5:37:48 AM

jlf1961

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There is always blackmail....

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Post #: 6

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 6:34:56 AM

ShaharThorne

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Watch it Jeff...

I got a few secrets from years ago, but I don't kiss and tell. These secrets are going with me to the grave.

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Post #: 7

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 6:35:09 AM

goodgirlmary

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I dont tell. But, I will feel awful for knowing, and if I can guide without telling, then I will. My friends husband was having an affair with another friend. SO WHEN SHE ASKED ME IF I HEARD ANYTHING i just guided her with why do you think so, with who,and similar questions. I hate to be involved in secrets though. Inmy experience, they tend to be a bad thing for someone on some level always.

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Post #: 8

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 6:49:45 AM

Toysinbabeland

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Rarely and with much forethought, should secrets be divulged.
There is little reason to ever betray anyone's trust in you.

For me it would have to be an extreme to do that.

(in reply to goodgirlmary)

Post #: 9

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 6:51:15 AM

DaddySatyr

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From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
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As a couple of people have said; there's a whole lot of variables.

I refuse to lie to anyone so, for the most part, if you don't want it known, you don't tell it to me, if you think someone will ask.

By the same token, I don't just go around, volunteering information.

Someone else used the example: If my friend's lady was cheating on him. Well, that depends upon how I came by the information. If she came tyo me, admitted what she'd done and seemed genuine in a desire to make the relationship work, I might hold my tongue. In any other situation, I would tell my friend because I believe every human being has the right of informed choice.

Peace and comfort,

Michael

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 7/1/2013 7:29:24 AM >

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RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 11:59:08 AM

DesFIP

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I don't gossip. Quite frankly, I'm not that interested in other people so it wouldn't be burning my tongue trying to escape.

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Post #: 11

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 1:53:18 PM

KittyDeVille

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I give people who want to tell me secrets a choice. If in any way the secret would burden me, dont tell me, because I will take actions.
Otherpeoples burdening secrets and the relief they get from it, are in no way shape or form giving me lack of sleep, or putting me in between something I dont wanna be.

added later:

If its a non-burdening secret, I dont tell. But I do talk in my sleep, hehehe

< Message edited by KittyDeVille -- 7/1/2013 2:26:00 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 12

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 3:30:35 PM

TheLilSquaw

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From: Middle River, MD
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Nope, I wouldn't tell.

I am a private person and I know if someone discloses things about me I am quick to cute folks off. The ONLY time I would break that rule is if it involved a child or someone who I felt I needed to advocate for.

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(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 3:47:16 PM

erieangel

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Joined: 6/19/2011
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When I'm angry I don't always think before speaking. That can be my downfall when it comes to keeping a secret. I don't consider myself a gossip. However, there have been times, when I've been upset or angry that I've accidentally spewed a secret or two. The most recent time being when my supervisor called me and told me that the program director had given him a write up for not supervising me properly after I'd called her asking for advise on how to handle a situation at the lodge. I had also gotten input from my supervisor (which was to do what I'd been doing and it wasn't working). The program director didn't really give me any advise on how to handle the behavioral issue, either, but she did give my supervisor a write up. He was up and told me; I, in turn became furious, blamed it on the boy I was having the behavioral issue with and blew my stack at work--revealing what had happened. When I'm angry I don't always think before speaking.

The write up really wasn't a secret. My supervisor told me that he knows if you tell somebody a "secret" chances are that person is going to repeat it to at least 1 other person he/she trusts. But it wasn't news for me to tell. I crossed some boundaries with it.

BTW, week one in the new department went well. I mostly went around with other peer specialists and did several online trainings when at the office. Still looking for ways to decorate my super large desk. I should be getting a client list soon and my new supervisor will have to go with me on some appointments for 6 hours before I can be trusted on my own. It isn't that much different than what I had been doing, though. Less paperwork and more fun time with the clients. Last week, we even went on a hike in a local wilderness park.

(in reply to KittyDeVille)

Post #: 14

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 4:08:16 PM

kdsub

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Joined: 8/16/2007
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quote:

You realize this information could affect many that you care about

This is the only thing that is important and the only thing that should influence your decision to reveal a secret. Taking this into consideration there are only two ways to look at it.

The first... does it affect them for the better in a necessary manner.

The second...Is it important they know even if it will affect them negatively.

There is no other reason to break a confidentiality or to interfere in someone else's business for the sake of gossip.

Butch

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(in reply to tazzygirl)

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RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 10:23:17 PM

Termyn8or

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You know what ? Just tell everything, and do it fast. Then people wil not tell you this stupid irrelevant shit to your life that you would rather not hear anyway and are better off not knowing. Then you can disregard all this whole fucking soap opera fucking drama Queen Bitch blues.

How's that sound ?

Did anyone catch that ? If it doesn't involve me I do not fucking care. Like Crododile Dundee said "Ain't none of my business".

T^T

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 16

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/1/2013 10:24:36 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

LOL

Good to have you back, T, even though I know we are gonna butt heads sometime. Its inevitable.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Post #: 17

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/2/2013 11:07:13 AM

kalikshama

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Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

You are told, or become aware of, information that someone doesnt want to get out. You realize this information could affect many that you care about. Its not life or death information. It could be considered titillating gossip that might make your friends' day. Or it could be something that you feel others should know because it might change their view on certain matters.

When someone asks me not to repeat something, and I agree, I've always honored that, but wouldn't if not talking about it would harm others - for example, if someone was suicidal or homicidal.

So in your scenario, if someone had asked me not to tell, I wouldn't. If I found out another way, it would depend on the specifics.

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Post #: 18

RE: Revealing secrets - 7/2/2013 11:22:03 AM

kdsub

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Joined: 8/16/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

LOL

Good to have you back, T, even though I know we are gonna butt heads sometime. Its inevitable.

That is NOT the real T because if it was the post would have been a 1000 words long.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 19

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