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diggerdom -> were to now (6/27/2006 12:59:25 PM)

i was introduced by an old friend to this whole new world two years ago and ask by him to train his two new subs fems over the months  i relised that i had been deny this myself all my life and as he always told me  i had big dom tendancies,and that was why i was never satisfied with any of the normal women i have had.
i have had a few subs of my own over last two years but i dont no weather it is my lack of experience and control or had i just chosen the wrong subs for me as two of them were realy fucked in the head i lost contact with my friend who was the master and i feel i have no inrodes into the the whol scene i am now at a cross roads and not sure which way to go do i continue to explore (but were) or go back to never being satisfied please be straight with as i have no one else to ask 



RavenMuse -> RE: were to now (6/27/2006 1:55:46 PM)

From reading that the first question you need to ask yourself is are you really a Dom? Looks like you are too used to marching to the beat of your friends drum and  compleatly lack any confidence in standing on your own two feet.

Were the girls you took on solo really that 'fucked in the head'? Or simply reacting to someone playing a role rather than BEING a Dom. I've seen it plenty enough times with others. Girls I've been warned where 'fucked up' or 'total brats'.... but I looked at the people making those claims and they where people who wore a mask, dom was a hat they wore when playing. Those supposedly fucked up brats turned into great girls when under a Master who was simply Dominant in nature rather than playing at it.

Obviously I am just responding to what you wrote, maybe you just communicated poorly, maybe you are totaly diffrent to the impression you just gave, but you wanted a straight answer and there it is.

Look inside, find out what you are then BE it, don't PLAY it. Also don't try placing ALL the blame on the girl, OK it is rarely 50/50 blame, but also it is equaly rarely 100% on one side either.



Estring -> RE: were to now (6/27/2006 2:37:18 PM)

You need to do research online and find a group in your area where you can ask and learn. And I would recommend not attempting to "have" any subs until you understand what it is that you have to offer them.



RavenMuse -> RE: were to now (6/28/2006 4:46:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring
You need to do research online and find a group in your area where you can ask and learn.


To give a start point.... There should be a Munch held at The Rutland Arms 86 Brown Street Sheffield from 2-5pm on the first Sunday of every month. If it is still running then that would be a good place to ask for local advice.

That took me a grand total of 30 seconds to find just using a bit of common sense. Once you know what you want, pull your finger out and go find it. Standing around wringing your hands saying "Don't know how to start" isn't very Domly [;)] Research, learn and put it into action. Master yourself before trying to Master another.



diggerdom -> RE: were to now (6/28/2006 6:51:51 AM)

i thank you for your frankness and  you probably right on most things but my deffinition of fucked in the the head is wakin to find a knife to my throat for no reason she was later sectioned as u can probably tell my experinces made me pull back a little and i do sometimes struggle to get over wat iam sayin thankyou again



RavenMuse -> RE: were to now (6/28/2006 6:58:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: diggerdom
my deffinition of fucked in the the head is wakin to find a knife to my throat for no reason she was later sectioned


OK with that one I'd probably agree! [:D]
Do a bit of research, a bit of looking around the scene and a LOT of looking inside yourself. If you do find this is for you, then good luck and play safe.



Wicken -> RE: were to now (7/3/2006 10:40:30 AM)

Hi Digger,
first thing I'd do is chnage the pic on your profile. It makes you look like an idiot with your tongue hanging out. Secondly, what Raven and Estring are telling you is right on the mark. Learn as much as you can from as many sources as you can.

quote:

i was introduced by an old friend to this whole new world two years ago and ask by him to train his two new subs fems 


How the hell can you train someone when you yourself are brand new? Unless your friend was mentoring you and the girls understood this as training not just for them but for you too, this strikes me as just wrong.

The first thing you should ask yourself is "Why do you WANT to Master/train another human being?" If it's to boost your own ego or make up for a lack of control in your own life, then look again. Are you willing to be responsible for someones life, is what it boils down to. What kind of "Dom" do you want to be? What are you looking for in a sub/slave and in a relationship? Learn and Master yourself first.

Good starting points are, as Raven pointed out, munches. Talk to other Doms and subs and get their views. Read! As much as you can. There are a LOT of good books about this lifestyle. If you can find a Mentor, so much the better. An established Master who can help answer your questions and guide you along the path. This is the way it was "traditionally" done.

Never stop learning. "The more I know, the more I know what I don't know" :)

I wish you well on your journey, and may Honor light your way.

Wicken



IronBear -> RE: were to now (7/3/2006 11:05:39 AM)

Bloody nora Wicken, here I was thinking the Lad was practicing for a Kiss concert... [8|]

diggerdom, you'll travel a long way to find a better person to advise you that RavenMuse. he is an up front dead honest bloke and a bloody good mate.... (Even if you blokes do like warm beer instead of drinking it icey cold [;)])



Level -> RE: were to now (7/3/2006 11:24:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse


Look inside, find out what you are then BE it, don't PLAY it.


Raven gives excellent advice here. Know yourself.
 
And if you plan on seeking out someone online, I would suggest working on both your writing; reading your initial post made my head hurt lol.
 
Good luck.



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: were to now (7/3/2006 4:58:47 PM)

As everyone here has kindly said, first take control of yourself. Cultivate self-discipline in your writing and thinking, and develop the confidence to lead yourself to where you want to go. Without that, how can you even begin to consider controling, disciplining, or leading anyone else?

(And yes, a photo of you with a drink in your hand, looking drunk and immature, doesn't inspire confidence. You may want to re-think that photo.)

Munches, books on the lifestyle, and the experiences of those on this website, are a good start. Welcome, and good luck.



LokisBrat -> RE: were to now (7/3/2006 8:45:49 PM)

It is obvious you have some soul searching to do.  As you stand right now with your current mental state, you are of no beneficial use to anyone.  I would also say, from the information you gave in your post, you lack self confidence.  These two things I mentioned is where I would start before I entertained the idea of "training" someone.  I would venture to say your techniques were the same as "your friend's," with very little or any other experiences and time to develop your own. 
I would be curious as to what "classified" the other two Subs as being "fucked up in the head".  Was this possibly due to you not being prepared to mentally handle a Sub with genuine interest to please and serve, or was this based upon different kinks, or lack of experience on their part?

This is my opinion and my opinion alone, and you did ask for it.

LOKI



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