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njlauren -> RE: D/s relationship vs. FLR (7/4/2013 8:45:45 AM)
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As with the others, FLR is a type of D/s relationship, that in a sense reverses the traditional dynamic where relationships were 'male led' or as in more modern times, is supposed to be equal or in some sort of dynamic equilibrium. I think your confusion is about a D/s, because it is talked about on BD/SM websites it is assumed that D/s is all about kink play, that it has nothing to do with the emotional or 'vanilla' side of the relationship. There are D/s relationships out there that exist only in the bedroom, in play, but as others point out, a lot of them are lifestyle, that govern other aspects of the relationship, where the dominant partner has control over certain or most aspects of the relationship, and these can be quite loving and emotional.
Reading fiction, you would assume a D/s is the cold bitch Domme constantly torturing her 'property', if a male cuckolding him and embarassing him and so forth, but that is fiction, not real, for the most part.
And FLR is simply a relationship where the female is dominant and the male is submissive, where they have agrees that the wife takes on the 'head of household' role so to speak, has control over certain/most/all things, etc....but it can be and usually is loving IME, since they probably got together in the first place because there was something there.
I can understand the confusion, I ran across FLT websites and such, and they make it appear like this is some sort of unique thing, that on some websites actually said "has nothing to do with whips/chains and erotic torture"..well, guess what, lot of D/s relationships where people don't do those things.....because as other people pointed out, D/s is about power balance in a relationship, and that is exactly what an FLR is:). The worse practitioner of this rubbish was someone called Elsie something, who sets up as queen bee of the FLR universe, telling you the 'proper' way to do it, it would be funny if it wasn't pathetic. A typical line , someone asking about cuckolding and FLR: "Well, it can be understood if in an FLR the woman chooses to have other lovers and it should be expected as a common aspect of the control she yields in the relationship,so a male agreeing to an FLR should expect this to commonly happen".....which should ring the bell on the bullshit detector, because while cuckolding is part of the femme domme universe. something like cuckolding is not 'expected', and more importantly, it woud be negotiated in the relationship,plus IME most dominants of both genders tend to be monogamous more often then not....(Personally, suspect this "Elsie" is some guy wanking off giving this 'advice').
In short answer to your question, FLR is just another name for a female dominant/male submissive relationship. Usually, it is described as a married couple, but you could have an FLR where a couple is unmarried *shrug*.
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