RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress



Message

MasterCaneman -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 6:48:28 AM)

Whenever I see the words "online training", I get this mental image of someone naked in their kitchen, kneeling in front of their computer and calling it "Master/ Mistress". Sorry, that's just my take on it.



goodgirlmary -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 7:28:53 AM)

I think maybe sometimes the experienced oeople want to help out the inexperienced



chatterbox24 -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 8:02:27 AM)

I think its possible to merge real life and online, but online only to me is one of the stupidest things on earth. But Im not fantasy based, or get excited over sexy typing or computer monitors. Its like ordering pie, and getting the crust, I want the filling. I think its all silly and goofy. I am just no fun anymore.[:D]



MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 8:32:12 AM)

It depends on the level of INVESTMENT for both involved. For online to actually FUNCTION you both really need to work HARD at it and there needs to be actual emotional involvement. I don't recommend it as a romantic relationship, but for D/s in a non-sexual context YES, IT CAN WORK....I've had success with Managing submissives for weight loss, speech therapy, injury recovery, improving their personal grooming habits, improving depression, agoraphobia, PTSD, etc. CREATIVITY IS A MUST, definite rules must be made and Reward/Punishment system set up to keep them Motivated, otherwise it's just going to flop. Face time (Yahoo, Skype, etc.) is a necessity to form and maintain a real Bond. If you can actually MEET frequently this would be a great help, preferably at least once a month.

W/we have had very good luck with it....However, I also am willing to coordinate via phone/email directly with their doctor, therapist, etc., (actually PRESSURING, even aggressively DEMANDING doctors care for My subs better) and MOST Dominants wouldn't be quite so willing to be as open about their identity with officials as I am.

To submissives: if you participate in this, DO make it worthwhile for your Dominant. Don't just TAKE Her/His time, but do SOMETHING to return the favor. Be creative with that. Make it SPECIAL.

I don't recommend online training to the majority of people...but I've made it work on several occasions. Just saying...



chatterbox24 -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 8:41:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MAINEiacMISTRESS

It depends on the level of INVESTMENT for both involved. For online to actually FUNCTION you both really need to work HARD at it and there needs to be actual emotional involvement. I don't recommend it as a romantic relationship, but for D/s in a non-sexual context YES, IT CAN WORK....I've had success with Managing submissives for weight loss, speech therapy, injury recovery, improving their personal grooming habits, improving depression, agoraphobia, PTSD, etc. CREATIVITY IS A MUST, definite rules must be made and Reward/Punishment system set up to keep them Motivated, otherwise it's just going to flop. Face time (Yahoo, Skype, etc.) is a necessity to form and maintain a real Bond. If you can actually MEET frequently this would be a great help, preferably at least once a month.

W/we have had very good luck with it....However, I also am willing to coordinate via phone/email directly with their doctor, therapist, etc., (actually PRESSURING, even aggressively DEMANDING doctors care for My subs better) and MOST Dominants wouldn't be quite so willing to be as open about their identity with officials as I am.

To submissives: if you participate in this, DO make it worthwhile for your Dominant. Don't just TAKE Her/His time, but do SOMETHING to return the favor. Be creative with that. Make it SPECIAL.

I don't recommend online training to the majority of people...but I've made it work on several occasions. Just saying...


I like this. As my grandpa used to say, more then one way to skin a cat. lol. Don't get mad cat lovers! Just hill billy talk.



Rawni -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 8:57:15 AM)

When I was advocating and working with the disabled, I did a lot of the work online or by phone. You can help people change their lives IF they are motivated and really want to change their life. I don't care what you do as a friend, dominant or anything else, people are not going to change unless they really want to. Setting up a punishment system may work for some, but it would not work for me. I am not investing my time to help someone, to play dominant to his... lol submission and have anyone waste my time by playing games which in my opinion is often a huge factor when these guys like punishment even if they don't like the actual punishment you use. I did find when I directed the shelter that some people wouldn't change their lives unless forced by some government agency. Those were the hardest people to work with and yet sometimes we were successful, so there may be some aspect of the punishment dynamic that may help, but I really can't see anything that would work with everyone or what would motivate the person being helped unless you had some real good shit on their ass.

It is also a huge responsibility or should be, to take on anything like this if it can have a negative effect upon a person, if you make a mistake. This is why I no longer work in the ways I used to. I do not want to make a bad call or mistake that could mean I hurt someone else. I must take care of myself now... and leave the life changing to others that have the will power, time, skills, etc. to do so.

However, the average man around here that wants our involvement, isn't talking about improving his lonely life in any manner, but to fill some time to get his kink on... at least from what I've seen. [:D] Anyone wanting to see your body parts or to have you help him with his... chronic masturbation issue, isn't playing serious enough of the time to invest any time in him. There are ways for the serious to change their life and its mostly a google away. If they can't invest enough, be strong enough to run their life... I don't see wasting my life to do it for them.



orgasmdenial12 -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 11:01:04 AM)

Yes, it is very possible, but it doesn't sound like you want it. If you don't want it, don't do it.

I've had some long distance relationships which involved a lot of online training. *I loved it*. I felt like it completed my life and made me incredibly happy. I do orgasm denial so cyber sex is not something I participate in.

My Owner and I see each other a lot, but he lives a few miles away so we also have weeks here and there where we can't see each other. I have a lot of tasks, instructions and constrictions to my life that train me and keep me in the right headspace. To name a few: I sleep on the floor, blindfolded and usually plugged in the ass, when I wake up or get home from work I have to strip and apply chilli balm to my clit, I shower in cold water, I have to ask permission to use the bathroom (he's pretty quick at responding) I sit on the floor to eat, I have to eat and drink what he tells me to, I go to bed when he tells me to, I have to get permission to sit on the furniture. Sometimes he tells me to sit in my little cupboard until he gives me permission to leave, if he tells me to crawl rather than walk around my flat I do, etc. I feel like my life is completely controlled, mentally I'm in a very submissive space and we're both over the moon with the way things are between us, and there's no reason at all why these things couldn't be done in a long distance relationship.

However, the key thing is to repeat my first line. I do it because I like it - if you don't like it, don't do it, whether it's possible or not!

subbie xxx



evesgrden -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 11:08:41 AM)

quote:

He wants me to train him online "before we meet" and (I told him) I just haven't got a clue how.

Is there, really, anything other than journal writing and cyber-sex that can be done for online training? I have no real experience with online other than that one aforementioned situation. If all there is to it is journaling and cyber-sex, I could do without it. Any ideas?


HE WANTS ?

NBMG, you're spending time on posts trying to figure if and/or how you can give him what he wants. And what do you get out of it.... a snowball's chance in hell of maybe meeting one day.

That may call for a little introspection about what it is that you really want and from which side of the kneel. You're looking to please him.. within limits, but that's what you want your ideas for.. compliance to his request within certain limits.

food for thought



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 12:22:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Unless you can come up with a reason that this situation is beneficial to you, what would be the point? There's nothing that somebody can do for you online that you can't find right in your own backyard AND the benefits of a real life play partner far exceed what somebody can do via the computer.

Come on. You are way smarter than this.


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni
Anyone wanting to see your body parts or to have you help him with his... chronic masturbation issue, isn't playing serious enough of the time to invest any time in him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden
NBMG, you're spending time on posts trying to figure if and/or how you can give him what he wants.
......
That may call for a little introspection

You all are right. I am smarter than this. I also knew what online amounted to and it really left me cold. And I don't know why I was even considering doing online to please him when it's something I don't really like anyway.

I can see using online to fill in the gaps in a long-distance relationship, in between real time meetings, but other than that, it just seems "not real" and that's probably because it's not.

I guess I was thinking, if I got some decent ideas for something other than cyber-sex, I'd give it one last chance. But it's true that, if there's nothing in it for me, why do it? That may sound selfish, but I don't think it is. I mean, if someone isn't getting her/his needs met, then why stay?

The bottom line is, I shouldn't "settle." I do really want a face-to-face, real time, in person dynamic. DarkSteven had a good idea, though.
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Well, were I you, I would have him log his bedtimes and awake times. His meals. Make him take a complete physical, and let me know. And then see if he needs his diet changed to reduce carbs, to have more salads. Impose an exercise regimen on him. Somewhere along the way, he would realize that doing what someone ELSE says, may not be what YOU want. And he'd get a bit healthier as well.

Now I'm tempted to do what he said just to fuck with him. That must be the Mean side of me coming out. haha

NBMG

ETA: Nah, it wouldn't be Nice to fuck with him. [8|]



tazzygirl -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 12:41:08 PM)

quote:

HE WANTS ?


Maybe its just me, but I dont see anything wrong with "his wants".

Just because he wants doesnt mean he gets... but to discount his wants seems a little bit selfish to me.



LadyPact -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 12:47:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Maybe its just me, but I dont see anything wrong with "his wants".

Just because he wants doesnt mean he gets... but to discount his wants seems a little bit selfish to me.

I'm cool with being selfish to that level. I don't pretend to care about some random dude just because he happens to cross My path on the internet.




lizi -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 1:14:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

HE WANTS ?


Maybe its just me, but I dont see anything wrong with "his wants".

Just because he wants doesnt mean he gets... but to discount his wants seems a little bit selfish to me.


I'm A-ok with discounting a stranger's wants. I'd expect the same in return from someone who is equally uninvested in me.



tazzygirl -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 1:16:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Maybe its just me, but I dont see anything wrong with "his wants".

Just because he wants doesnt mean he gets... but to discount his wants seems a little bit selfish to me.

I'm cool with being selfish to that level. I don't pretend to care about some random dude just because he happens to cross My path on the internet.




I didnt get from the OP's post that he was just some random dude.



LadyPact -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 1:32:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
I didnt get from the OP's post that he was just some random dude.

That would be up to the OP to disclose. Sounded to Me like some guy 3000 miles away that she's never met.




tazzygirl -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 2:05:54 PM)

lol... I know lots of people from on line... some I have met... some I may yet meet.. some I wont ever meet.. and I dont consider them "random people".

Semantics I suppose.



LadyPact -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 2:12:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
lol... I know lots of people from on line... some I have met... some I may yet meet.. some I wont ever meet.. and I dont consider them "random people".

Semantics I suppose.

Do you remember about a month ago when we were discussing the differences in language between D and s? This might be one of those times.

When you have a few email exchanges with somebody and they suddenly go into "kneel, bitch" mode, you probably sit back and laugh at them. This is the same thing from the other way around. It's the 'I'll be a nice guy and then push to be Dominated once she thinks I'm cool' kind of approach.




tazzygirl -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 2:32:46 PM)

Perhaps. And I can only say this for myself... but if he didnt matter, I wouldnt be making a post about it asking for help on how to give him what he wants.



LadyPact -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 2:43:28 PM)

That part I agree with.

However, since I was reminded of the great "nice guy" link that was posted by Syl last month, I thought this might be a good opportunity to list it again. http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/13-reasons-why-nice-guys-are-the-worst



tazzygirl -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 2:44:24 PM)

lol... Oh come on... the last thing I want is a "nice guy"! Look at the Dommes I interact with [;)]



NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: Is there *really* such a thing as "online training?" (7/6/2013 10:09:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
Maybe its just me, but I dont see anything wrong with "his wants".

Just because he wants doesnt mean he gets... but to discount his wants seems a little bit selfish to me.

I'm cool with being selfish to that level. I don't pretend to care about some random dude just because he happens to cross My path on the internet.



quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
I didn't get from the OP's post that he was just some random dude.

That would be up to the OP to disclose. Sounded to Me like some guy 3000 miles away that she's never met.



I've never met this person in real life. He lives in NY and I live in WA state. I got my first correspondence from him a day short of three weeks ago right here on CM and, since, we've moved to IM but I've never met him face-to-face. I've seen his face on cam but I've never seen it otherwise.

I have no problem with him having "wants." We all have wants, including me. Since I am the one who chose to answer his correspondence and move on to IM, I thought it would be nice if we could work something out agreeable to both but, if there's not even a snowball's chance in hell of ever meeting in RL then what's the point in continuing? Real life is really what I want.

NBMG



Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
4.736328E-02