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Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/6/2013 5:14:38 PM

AngelsCry

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/2/2013
Status: offline

I have been on and off this site for 8 years my question is why do so many sub/slaves that seek a Dom/me not take the time to get to know a Dom/me when they show a interest in seeing if there's a connection. I seem to find most of the sub/slaves here to be quiet shallow

Post #: 1

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/6/2013 5:36:10 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

There could be many reasons why someone isn't interested in you, just because a person is here seeking doesn't mean you fit the bill for them. You could be outside their preferences for location, age, looks, etc, so they don't wish to engage in getting to know you when it'll be a fruitless endeavor on their end.

What is it that you find shallow about subs/slaves here? That they have preferences? Something else?

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 2

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/6/2013 5:36:24 PM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

You seem quite shallow yourself, considering you insist on people having a picture up on a kink site (which they may not be able to do due to work discretion and so on), before you're even willing to talk to them.

On top of that your profile has spelling mistakes in them, and basically gives people no relevant information about you whatsoever. It doesn't list any personal details of relevance, nor anything but a very generic description of yourself and what you're into.

Women on this site, especially the ones with attractive pictures of themselves on their profiles, get mailed several times per hour when they're online. It's impossible for us to get to know each and ever single person that mails us, because doing so would mean taking on several hours a day just answering emails, and chatting with random strangers online. Therefore I -and it seems other women as well- tend to be fairly picky about the type of person we choose to invest time in. If you get 20 emails an hour, and 19 of them are from a generic non-descript profile, with a generic non-descript email, while one of them is from a guy with a detailed profile, and a detailed, attractive, funny, or otherwise engaging opening email, you're going to bias your time towards that one guy, and not bother wasting it on the 19 other emails (which most likely will result in an investment of time and effort getting to know the guy, only to find out that you're not compatible).

If you want to beat the odds, you need to invest more time in giving the women you contact a reason to want to spend time getting to know you. Otherwise what ends up happening is that you're just another meaningless, uninteresting face in the hordes of emails they've got hitting their inbox.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 3

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/6/2013 6:02:08 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

The large red font in your profile comes across (to me) as aggressive.
That probably is not your intent.
The spelling errors and punctuation issues also seem lazy (to me).
Attention to detail can be very important.
You are not (a) dominate.
Dominate is a verb.
Dominant is an adjective.

When [my] Master found me here, He sent me a cmail in which He asked well written, interesting questions about things He read in my profile.
And that is all it took.
We have been together for over 4 years.

Have you tried getting out into your local community?
Perhaps finding a TNG munch or gathering?

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 4

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/6/2013 7:11:40 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

Speaking from personal experience, it takes what seems like a lot of time to find my own success story. I've belonged to this site under an individual for 6 years before I found the one Im currently with. And I never even knew I was looking for this when we found each other. Trust me, it takes time and patience...but it can happen.

The others have asked good questions. What makes the people shallow in your opinion? Why require a publicly posted picture? In my honest opinion, your profile really doesn't give me much in the way of info about you that might pique my interest. Well, give if I was your target audience anyway.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 5

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/6/2013 10:19:02 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

The large red font in your profile comes across (to me) as aggressive.
That probably is not your intent.
The spelling errors and punctuation issues also seem lazy (to me).
Attention to detail can be very important.
You are not (a) dominate.
Dominate is a verb.
Dominant is an adjective.

When [my] Master found me here, He sent me a cmail in which He asked well written, interesting questions about things He read in my profile.
And that is all it took.
We have been together for over 4 years.

Have you tried getting out into your local community?
Perhaps finding a TNG munch or gathering?

What she said. ^^^^ ALL of it. Thanks for saving me the keystrokes angelikaJ.

OP, I don't understand what you think is so shallow about the subs/slaves on here. They have search criteria also, just like you and I do. If you don't meet that criteria, they move along and find someone who does before taking the time to get to know him/her. Add to that the fact that your profile says virtually nothing at all about yourself besides listing your interests. If I were a sub, I would find nothing in your profile that would turn my head and cause me to take a second look.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 6

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 12:09:24 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

Oddly enough, when I was looking for a dom I found quite a few of them to be quite shallow too.

By shallow I mean they saw that I was female, single and submissive. For most, that was enough to know that I was perfect for them.

Unfortunately I have preferences and standards. I had listed what I was looking for, and although I was a little flexible, I was not going to date someone who wasn't at least an 80% fit to my preferences. And there was no way in hell I was going to date someone who did the 'me dominant, you slave!' bollocks on their profile, to the exclusion of everything else.

I wanted to date a man, not a cartoon dominant whose life revolved around his kink and his dick. Thankfully my decision to remain true to my wants and needs led me to the man I'm with today.

So, OP, if you are finding women 'shallow', it might be an idea to look inwards and see what it is that makes you unsuitable to the women you contact.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 7

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 2:54:07 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline

In the very beginning when my partner showed interest in me, I boldly shot him down. But he was kept at it...he always spoke kindly to me whenever we would meet outside...the thing that caught my interest was one day I was returning from one of those long days at work and he sincerely asked me how my day at work went and seemed like he really wanted to know. When he finally asked me out (over two months after being introduced) I accepted. The point is, he took HIS time in feeling me out getting to know me before he took the plunge to move forward. He did in no way act like all that he wanted was to get in my pants and as a matter of fact it took some time before that even happened. I have found that on the net most men get to the sex part quite quickly, within a half hour of talking most get to the point, 'what are you into?' or something similar....and sorry I think that is pretty shallow and one of the biggest reasons I decided to stop the internet as a way to look for a partner. Although he is pretty vanilla sexually, he does have that Dominant persona and after 23 years of being in the lifestyle, he is by far the best Dominant partner I have ever met.

So what is your approach?

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 8

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 4:51:07 AM

AngelsCry

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/2/2013
Status: offline

Well when I contact any one I always use respect ask how there day is but since last night I have meet a sub and we had a long talk. We talked about classical music plays the government how we as humans can better ourselves and we had a instant connection

(in reply to lilcracker)

Post #: 9

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 5:36:01 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

I had a questions earlier, what is it that you find shallow about the subs and slaves here?

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 10

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 5:53:27 AM

AngelsCry

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/2/2013
Status: offline

Well maybe Im shallow ause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way

(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 11

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 5:57:40 AM

smartsub10

Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelsCry

Well maybe Im shallow ause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way

If you believe brains and hearts means more than looks why do you demand a photograph on a prospective sub's profile?

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 12

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 5:59:17 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelsCry

Well maybe Im shallow ause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way

I don't know how to say this gently - I find it very difficult to read your writing. The spelling isn't good, and the punctuation is missing. In what way do you exhibit your brains within your writing? For that matter, where is the heart? Remember, none of us can see the real you, but only what is conveyed in your writing.

I found this same phenomenon among jobhunters. They would complain that they were qualified for a position but were not considered. They didn't realize that their qualifications didn't matter if their resume didn't state them.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 13

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 5:59:43 AM

AngelsCry

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/2/2013
Status: offline

Well maybe Im shallow cause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 14

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 6:02:39 AM

AngelsCry

Posts: 5
Joined: 7/2/2013
Status: offline

Cause I want to know they are real

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 15

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 6:16:02 AM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelsCry

Well maybe Im shallow cause I think brains and hearts should mean morn then looks and most dont see it that way

You do realize though that everyone in the world has preferences right? From what they eat, to what they drive, to who they are attracted to....everyone on this planet has preferences. Why is that shallow? You have them too. You state that you want someone with brains and a heart, I'd say you value conversation and emotions then. So you'd discount the women who didn't have those things....right?

You're not really making a lot of sense. You come here complaining about people who don't wish to engage with you, well, that is their right if they don't find that to be something that they want to do. You also stipulate yourself that you want certain things from a partner while saying that they should only want the same things as you do. Think of this too...you're in the Ask a Submissive section of the forums and then you're telling the submissives here that you think most of them are shallow. Is this a good strategy?

One more thing. If someone didn't have preferences then they would take anyone who comes along, how would that be special? What would it mean if someone took you on as their relationship interest simply because you contacted them. Why would you want to mean so little to someone? If it's taking you a long time with no results, then I'd stop looking at all the other people on the site as being defective and look at myself as being the one who needs to change what I'm doing. Do you know what I mean?

< Message edited by lizi -- 7/7/2013 6:17:22 AM >

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 16

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 6:26:53 AM

evesgrden

Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelsCry

Cause I want to know they are real

Are you concerned that you're talking to a software program a la the Matrix? Anyone can post a pic. What do you mean by "real"? You can't know that someone is who they say they are until you meet, and even then it's not a sure thing.

_____________________________

What you permit, you promote.

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 17

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 6:27:48 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelsCry

I have been on and off this site for 8 years my question is why do so many sub/slaves that seek a Dom/me not take the time to get to know a Dom/me when they show a interest in seeing if there's a connection. I seem to find most of the sub/slaves here to be quiet shallow

I know. It's an epidemic of gargantuan stature. All these hot slave gals write, want to get together, hook up, have wild, vicarious, life altering sex, and then just leave.
In one night even.
They don't take the time to get to know me. They don't respect me for my mind, my education, that savoir-faire so elegantly cultivated over the decades.
No, they just plunder my body, those shallow vaporous wenches.
I feel so, well, soiled. Used in body and soul.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 18

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 6:31:27 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelsCry

Cause I want to know they are real

Are you unaware that people can send you a pic of someone other than themselves?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 19

RE: Trouble meet sub/slaves - 7/7/2013 6:41:19 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Well when I contact any one I always use respect ask how there day is

I don't find a first contact email that says "How is your day going" respectful; I find it trite and not worth a response. You could have sent it to any female online anywhere.

When I was looking, I wanted the first email to show that he had read my profile and was writing to me for more reasons than that I am female and submissive.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to AngelsCry)

Post #: 20

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