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subtease2 -> RE: Ruining the illusion? (7/25/2013 2:55:57 AM)
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My first BDSM playdate started off awkward because of how normal it was. I still laugh at myself when I think of it. She was a domme. I answered my door, and there she was... I don't know WTF I expected. Trumpets blaring, perhaps? But there she was: no makeup, an innocent hello, a smile, and she was wearing an orange sweatshirt under a worn, green, corduroy jacket.
An hour or so later, OMFG it was such a relief when she asked me to strip! I mean... that was really awkward for me, too. (I was nervous!) But it was awkward in a hot and expected way, not a 'so normal it was surreal' way!
What I recommend is to have a sense of humor about it, realize it might fuck with their minds, and enjoy it to the hilt as if you just might be doing it on purpose (e.g. wearing tennis shoes to a date with a foot fetishist just to tease him) ... except it's better because you're not going out of your way to do it on purpose, it's just an entertaining side effect of dressing normally.
[edit after posting: I apologize... I'm not used to being able to comment without first navigating to the end of the thread... had I seen Gary's Ian Flemming quote I wouldn't have bothered to write the below paragraph.]
but also... if you've already been in kink for years, it's easy to forget all the silly ideas that many of us didn't even know we had! Many newbies' preconceptions about BDSM come from porn, which is... sterile... a land where nobody falls asleep, faints, coughs, needs to pee or flatulate, gets cramps, miscommunicates, has acne, etc. Emerging from fantasy life into something real can be disillusioning and downright scary for some.
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