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What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 6:30:08 PM   
QueenLivia


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		Greetings,

I would like to create a good experience for my sub and I. Thus, I would like to ask other Subs out there, what actions or method of activity would please or displease you the most and why? What would compel you to return to your Dom or not return at all? What is considered a total NO NO.

Thank you


_____________________________

Your one and only Queen
Roman Queen Livia
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 6:49:15 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		For me, a lot of what would cause me to take the relationship seriously and return (as mentioned in the original post) is a true effort at exercising control and serious sincerity about what you really want from this type of relationship. Way too often I was treated as some kind of trophy to be won, but once obtained, she had no idea what to do with me. Because of many of my past writings and my direct style of displaying my sincerity in this discipline, I have often been seen as someone that a woman would think "now that's the kind of slave I want", but that was about as far as the original thought went. It's almost as if the perfect slave (which, no, I am not claiming to be) will make for the perfect relationship because of a belief that everything else will fall into place.

So, what would do it for me? Someone who takes charge from the start and actually means it. No games. No "let's see where things go and then we'll figure it out" wishy washy-ness.

For me, it's not a specific act that a woman performs that makes me want to return to her each and every time. It's the attitude and the belief that she's as real as I am. It's bizarre, but while that sounds like such a little thing, it's often the hardest thing to actually find.

(in reply to QueenLivia)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 7:54:00 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		No Nos

1) Do not lie to me

2) Tell me what I need to know in order to be a consenting submissive. This means do not keep from me something that would make me withdraw my consent... sins of omission piss me off

3) Do not tell me that my limits are ok just to turn around and demand that I withdraw them.

This is a fairly short list of things that will make me run

Things that make me wanna stay?

1) Trusting me emotionally.

2) Making me feel safe physically and emotionally

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to QueenLivia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 8:03:37 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		It's always nice to feel protected (to feel that way, I have to trust someone implicity. It's nice if they have big fat muscles, but trust will do it better). Then I promise to be putty in their hands. Also if they are nice (wish I could be more descriptive on that, but I classify it as being decent to others). There's an old joke that one of the reasons most Pisceans rarely lack for a date is because they have absolutely no sense of discrimination, he. I beg to differ - we can be quite discerning (it just has to be about something we consider important).

Being intentionally cruel for cruelty's sake (outside a scene or consensual "understanding") is a big NO. Talking to me as if I am borderline intelligence-challenged, or in Kindergarten doesn't go over well most of the time (I'm 46 years old). I might like doing a Daddy-daughter scene but we'd have to agree on it first.  - Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/27/2006 8:25:51 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 8:23:23 PM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		Make me want to stay???

Stay on top of things
Dont let the small things pass or they will build up to big things
Talk to me (dirty, sweet, compassionate, dominant, controlling, whatever.. just talk)
Dont ever make me feel as if you are bored with me

Make me want to go???

Spend more time with subs you dont have instead of the one you do
Make me feel as if my pleasing you is a given and not a joy to you
Stop talking

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to QueenLivia)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 8:35:56 PM   
firstsub


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: middletown, CT
Status: offline 		Do You want honesty, patience, understanding, basic common sense and manners?
Do You need a caring, sensitive, personally interested, good sense of humor, friendly partner?
The Good Book says: TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WISH TO BE TREATED.
The world says: What goes around comes around.   Who said:  What you give out you get back two fold.....lol

i think Y\you get my drift.....doesn't matter whether Dom or sub

_____________________________

A submissive needs to be contolled, owed, used. Pleasing and serving her Master. This will bring balance and meaning to her life. Discipline will keep her in focus. Master has only to look her way.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 9:11:12 PM   
Taylore


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: QueenLivia

Greetings,

I would like to create a good experience for my sub and I. Thus, I would like to ask other Subs out there, what actions or method of activity would please or displease you the most and why? What would compel you to return to your Dom or not return at all? What is considered a total NO NO.

Thank you


Any action that Master wishes is pleasing. I am his to do with as he pleases, and in doing so, I am pleased.

_____________________________

Taylore

(in reply to QueenLivia)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 9:13:50 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		When I really want to degrade a woman, want her to feel like she is such a lowly piece of shit she shouldn't belong to the human race...I just force her to vote Republican.

(in reply to Taylore)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 9:26:45 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

When I really want to degrade a woman, want her to feel like she is such a lowly piece of shit she shouldn't belong to the human race...I just force her to vote Republican.


This is why I have that as a hard limit... I just am not that into humiliation, what can I say other than that?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 9:43:03 PM   
cacodylic


Posts: 157
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

When I really want to degrade a woman, want her to feel like she is such a lowly piece of shit she shouldn't belong to the human race...I just force her to vote Republican.

LOL, but have you considered that, in doing so, you are helping to degrade 99% of the human race r/l 24/7?

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/27/2006 10:10:46 PM   
atherfeet


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/9/2004
Status: offline 		Can't stop laughing ... okay, CrappyDom, i don't gravitate toward boys at all, but i kneel before You ... You are the comedy Master!!!!

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/28/2006 3:26:58 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

When I really want to degrade a woman, want her to feel like she is such a lowly piece of shit she shouldn't belong to the human race...I just force her to vote Republican.


I like your style...lol

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/28/2006 3:39:56 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Things that make me want to stay?

A sense of humor!  About the world, me and yourself.  Don't take everything so seriously that what should be enjoyable, turns out grim.

Open up to me.  Like Julia said, tell me what I need to know in order to be a good submissive to you.

Don't be afraid to treat me well.  I won't think less of you if you are kind, polite, nice to me.  Treat me like a person,. not an object.

Let me know when I've done something particularly pleasing.  I'll want to repeat it or build on it.

Make me feel safe...that this is where I belong and need to be.

Things that make me run?

Lie to me

Treat me like shit

Never say thanks or give me that smile that says thanks or I noticed what you did.

There's more, but you get the idea.

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 6/28/2006 3:41:12 AM >

(in reply to QueenLivia)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/28/2006 4:10:16 AM   
SenseofBelonging


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

For me, a lot of what would cause me to take the relationship seriously and return (as mentioned in the original post) is a true effort at exercising control and serious sincerity about what you really want from this type of relationship. Way too often I was treated as some kind of trophy to be won, but once obtained, she had no idea what to do with me. Because of many of my past writings and my direct style of displaying my sincerity in this discipline, I have often been seen as someone that a woman would think "now that's the kind of slave I want", but that was about as far as the original thought went. It's almost as if the perfect slave (which, no, I am not claiming to be) will make for the perfect relationship because of a belief that everything else will fall into place.

So, what would do it for me? Someone who takes charge from the start and actually means it. No games. No "let's see where things go and then we'll figure it out" wishy washy-ness.

For me, it's not a specific act that a woman performs that makes me want to return to her each and every time. It's the attitude and the belief that she's as real as I am. It's bizarre, but while that sounds like such a little thing, it's often the hardest thing to actually find.



What he said


< Message edited by SenseofBelonging -- 6/28/2006 4:11:03 AM >

(in reply to littlesarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/28/2006 5:01:38 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		<SCREAMZ>   ack!!

You Evil Man!!!!


_____________________________

=It's not my fault that when I was a baby I was dropped in a box of Glitter & I have been shinin' ever since=

�*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,.-:* � �*:-.,_,-:* �

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/28/2006 5:52:02 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		In my case i want to come back because he treats me with love, honesty and respect.  Also he makes me feel  safe and protected noone messes with his sub.

The worst way to treat a sub is to abuse her and refuse to respect her hard limits.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to smilezz)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/28/2006 8:16:33 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'm going to say that no one can actually answer this for you.

To make the experience good for the sub then you need to know what "Your" sub likes and dislikes.

Does he or she like pain?
Does he or she like humiliation?
Does he or she like to be treated like an animal?
Does he or she like to be a pampered princess?

The list just goes on and on.

I love wax play. Other subs/slaves try it and go well that sucks why would you want to do that?

I have a friend that likes to be slapped in the face. Personally being hit in the face kills ever submissive thought in my head and you are likely to get slammed against a wall with my hand around your throat.

The best thing you can do is sit and talk with your submissive and find out how they feel about things.

The only advise i would give is listen to your partner as you are playing, watch for signs of distress or for very positive responses. Learn the person you are playing and that's the best you can do.

< Message edited by akisha -- 6/28/2006 8:19:21 AM >

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to QueenLivia)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/28/2006 2:08:03 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Be -clear- about your expecations. If you find you are not quite sure what you will expect of him/her, sit down and think about it.

Communicate what your girl/boy is expected to do, and if those expectations change, communicate that too.

In the same vein, have your girl/boy repete back your expectations to you as -they heared it-. If they are off base, clarify till you are on the same page.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/29/2006 6:57:04 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		My thoughts were stated by both julia and bandit.  I can't write them better so refer You to their replies. 

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What are the best/worst way to treat a sub? - 6/29/2006 9:19:05 PM   
gardenbluebird


Posts: 131
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline 		In order for me to want to come back a Dominant has to display honor and integrity, treat me like a lady in public and ravish me in private.  Most of all he has to pay attention to me.

Specific things i enjoy are opportunities to do useful or pleasureable tasks for him - such a serve a meal or give a massage.  i like to do those things, but his gratitude for my service means a lot too.  Of course there is playtime too, and it means a lot when i see that a scene has been specific created for needs or interests that i have talked about.  Examples of this would be destressing with a nice flogging, continuing on a theme that i clearly enjoyed, or him asking about my fantasies and setting up scene around one.

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
Profile   Post #: 20
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