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How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 2:15:32 PM

Slaveboytoy2

Posts: 21
Joined: 3/31/2013
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Every thing i do i cant seem to get anybodys attenction. Any advice?

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 2:20:31 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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Go look up the posts of Rochsub2009 and read them. They can be invaluable to you.

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 2:26:16 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

Yes, I have a few suggestions.

Take the penis picture off your profile. Women don't really want to see it before they know you.

Fill out your profile more. Women have many many offers from men such as yourself- telling them that they can do whatever they want to you is nothing new. What can you do for her? Any special talents or hobbies? What are you like as a person? She doesn't care what you want sexually, she'd like to know what you would be like to be around outside of the bedroom. You've got only sexual/kink interests listed in your interest section...why? Is that your only interest in life? Why would a woman even want to hang out with a guy who had nothing going on life his life over and above what he liked to do in the bedroom?

How about a picture of you clothed and in a non-messy background and perhaps smiling?

What are your emails like when you write someone?

*Edited to add: Check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation. It matters when trying to make a good impression.

< Message edited by lizi -- 7/9/2013 2:27:35 PM >

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 2:53:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I just did this last week with a friend of Mine. I think a lot of male submissives don't realize that they aren't standing out and they don't realize where they are standing in the signal to noise ratio.

The pics that you've got now don't say anything about you except that you are physically fit and don't have a great passion for cleaning. The latter isn't going to scream "submissive" to anyone. It also shows that you haven't done any research on what kind of pics are popular with Dominant women OR have and just haven't bothered to make the effort. Last week, My friend had a pic up pretty much the same as yours. (Shirtless torso taken in the mirror.) Now he has shots that include him dressed up, some in casual clothes, one that shows him engaged in a non kink related activity that he enjoys, one of his NEAT living environment, and one of his cat. Between this site and the other, he's already getting compliments.

The other thing you don't want to do is be the stereotype 'no experience/mold as you desire' guy. (By the way, lizi is right. You need spell check.) That's you and thousands of other guys. What are you doing for your own kink education or are you waiting for a gal to come along to teach you everything? You've got a lot of options to learn what you need to realize that, for a lot of people, this isn't ONLY about sex. Munches, TNG groups, books, online discussions, (more than the tired "why can't I find a Mistress?" stuff) and all kinds of information resources. Some woman actually like the fact that you are interested enough in this stuff that you are inspired to become active about it. A little more than just writing emails and adding cute girls to your friends circle.

One of My play partners isn't that much older than you. The reason that he was appealing was because he took a way more active approach than just waiting for somebody to come along. He was active about learning and willing to go out and meet people. Yes, that meant he had to take some chances and be something of a self starter, but I'd say it's paying off for him.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 4:57:16 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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~FRing it~

OP, I read your profile and came away with absolutely no knowledge about who you are. You called yourself essentially a lump of clay and that's all anyone knows. I'm not an artist...so wet dirt just doesn't do it for me.

Who are you?
What else BESIDES kink interests you?
Looking for play, a relationship?

You are bound to be more than clay. But your profile doesn't reflect that. It reflects nothing...and almost has a tiny little whiff of "do-me." Not as obnoxious as some I've seen. Its not just about what a dominant female does TO you, but what you yourself bring to the table.

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 5:02:47 PM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
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A clearer picture of your face and physique, perhaps clothed and not in your messy room. A better description of what you desire from the woman you seek, and not just sexual.

Also, getting out to some BDSM events, if possible, won't hurt either. It will help you learn how to interact with the kind of woman you're looking for, and maybe you can find a mentor to give you advice as well.

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 5:22:28 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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Stop grovelling and show who you are, SB2. It's the only way.

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 6:07:21 PM

MysTori

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/9/2013
Status: offline

All of these Ladies have some very good advice. I agree with it all. Today is my first day here and I have been bombarded by all kinds of requests to "Let me be your slave" or "Mistress, I want to be your sissy" or any number of things like that. And I tell you, it's irksome after a while. So I will explain what I look for in a sub/slave to help you understand what other Mistresses are looking for.

I really don't like having a prospective sub start out with "i want to worship you" "i want to be you're live in slave" "i will do anything for you" Really? You are willing to move at the drop of a hat and serve someone you don't even know? That speaks volumes of the way you view yourself. Be realistic, would you get in a car with someone you don't know? Why would you put your health and safety (and in some cases life) in the hands of someone you've never met before? D/s relationships are built on trust. If you are crazy enough to trust me with your safety and life without ever having met me, how can I take you seriously? You HAVE to be as concerned with your safety as I am.

Introduce yourself. You are a person with a name who deserves to be treated with respect despite the lifestyle you have follow. You may like being humiliated and called every name in the book, forced to dress like a woman, fucked with a strap on by every person your Domme brings you to, but you are still human and still deserve respect. How can I respect you, if you don't respect yourself?

Which brings me to another irritation. Don't belittle yourself. If a Domme compliments you, accept it with grace and say thank you.

I enjoy intelligence in My subs. Someone who I can rely on to make choices when I may not be available to give My direction. I prefer that a sub can think for themselves and make a decision in my absence even if it is the wrong choice. At least you DID something instead of relying on your Domme to think for you. It's refreshing. Be proactive.

Introduce yourself in your first message, and whatever you do, don't start out with sexual talk, or offer to be a slave. I always ask everyone, "Tell me what you find interesting about you." Because if you find it interesting, I will too. I want to know more about you outside of your kink. There will always be time to learn about what your kinks are later. I also like reading about your experience in that first message too. Have you ever had a Domme, been collared, served, been trained. The more you tell about yourself, the more a prospective Domme has to go on and the more interesting you will seem. I absolutely LOVE interesting subs. They keep me thinking, and are more entertaining. We Mistresses love being entertained by our subs! There is nothing worse than a slave that can say nothing more than "Yes Mistress." It gets boring quick. Then out the door you go.

Follow the advice you have been given in this thread and market yourself accordingly and you will find a Mistress you can make happy.

Mistress Tori

(in reply to absolutchocolat)

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/9/2013 7:38:53 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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1. I find beginning with "hey" to be less than respectful. Maybe it's my age.
2. What everybody else above said.
3. You claim to be great at handyman work and listening. This might be my own prejudice, but when someone who is sloppy with writing claims to be great at things, I discount that.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/10/2013 1:52:01 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Slaveboytoy2

Every thing i do i cant seem to get anybodys attenction. Any advice?

Wow, where to begin?

Firstly, read everything that everyone else has written, and digest it thoroughly. I agree with everything they've all said.

Next, delete this profile and start again. This time, create a name that isn't sexual. Being a boy toy may have seemed like a good idea when you created this profile, but it wasn't as clever as you think. Come up with a new name that isn't as sexual.

When you create your new profile, make sure that there are no spelling or grammar errors. Your current profile, and your message on this thread, are full of them. Remember, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. And the first impression that you're leaving here is that you're stupid (No offense. I'm just being honest). I don't think that's what you're aiming for.

When you're working on your new profile, add a few new pictures. Let the ladies see what type of guy you are. Remember, there are lots of other guys on here that you're competing with. Did you see the abs on that one guy who commented on this thread? He's your competition. How are you going to compete against him? Then take a look at a few more male sub profiles. Think about how your profile compares with theirs. Whether you like it or not, there are far more male subs seeking attention than there are female Dommes to provide that attention. So you are going to have to step up your game.

Read some of the old threads. Particularly the ones that have been "stickied" at the top of the various sections of this message board.

Finally, if you're not a member of your local BDSM group, consider joining. I've found that I can learn a lot more by attending seminars and watching real people play than I can from sending e-mails to random women on-line. So get out there and meet some real women.

You have a lot of work ahead of you. So I'd advise you to get started.

Good luck to you.
-Roch

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"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/10/2013 3:16:14 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
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You forgot to mention how essential it is for a gentleman to find the right tailor to furnish oneself with an agreeable silk suit before any given rendezvous with a new lady friend, Roch.

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RE: How to standout from the rest - 7/10/2013 4:12:44 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Slaveboytoy2

Every thing i do i cant seem to get anybodys attenction. Any advice?

If only you were taller...

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Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

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