Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (Full Version)

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fun2playwith88 -> Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (7/9/2013 8:18:08 PM)

Hi. Do you think ignoring or neglecting your submissive partner is ethical as a punishment? I'm having trouble deciding, probably because it deeply bothers me at the idea of a loving partner ignoring me.

So how about it. Can you, in good conscious, ignore your submissive as a means to punish?



Rawni -> RE: Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (7/9/2013 8:26:12 PM)

I wouldn't do it, but that doesn't mean that I wouldn't say... later dude... you will get my attention in time, just not right now. I can't and won't drop everything to be there when he might think I need to be and could be placing some demands that might be an issue. I will address him and everything... but may take some time to work on it. Ignore him, no. However, I don't use a punishment dynamic either. [:D]



littleclip -> RE: Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (7/9/2013 8:32:12 PM)

yes it can be but it depends on the dynamic and the sub/slave. for me as a service oriented slave it is the worst thing for me to not be allowed to touch or serve and can have me in tears in just a few min. as i need the touch to keep my submission grounded and without that can lead to my submission going awry and loosing my focus and my stress going way up and my passive agressive tendincys to show up. the longer it goes on the worse it will become. so it depends on the dynamic and the slave in question.



MsSylverdawn -> RE: Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (7/9/2013 8:35:36 PM)

There is ignoring.. as is not being energy and emotion into a person with a lack of care or concern to his welfare and wellbeing. No... there is restricting personal interaction. I can set a sub to a task and go about my business, work, chat on the phone etc... he may think I am ignoring him but I am always hyperaware of his place. I can limit time on the phone and face to face He might feel he is being ignored but I can assure you he is not. There is always a method to the madness.



Rawni -> RE: Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (7/9/2013 8:45:19 PM)

[sm=goodpost.gif]

Wish I could have said it like that. That was exactly what I meant, but couldn't spit out. [:D]




stef -> RE: Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (7/9/2013 9:03:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: fun2playwith88

Hi. Do you think ignoring or neglecting your submissive partner is ethical as a punishment? I'm having trouble deciding, probably because it deeply bothers me at the idea of a loving partner ignoring me.

First, there is a world of difference between ignoring and neglect. Second, if you behave in a manner that makes it unpalatable to want to spend time with you, isn't ignoring you a suitable punishment?



DarkSteven -> RE: Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (7/9/2013 9:29:20 PM)

Um, the fact that it bothers you means that it would likely be effective. A good punishment makes the submissive want to not repeat the behavior.

I'm not sure what you mean by "ethical". It doesn't harm the sub physically or emotionally, and teaches a lesson. How would it be unethical?



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Is neglect/ignoring an ethical punishment? (7/9/2013 9:36:36 PM)

FR

It's not so much a matter of ethics as a matter of compatibility. I suppose it could be unethical if you were ignoring someone who was in need of urgent help from an injury, but in normal interaction, no.

I'm one who hates the idea of ignoring as a punishment. Ignoring to me feels like a personal rejection rather than a behaviour focused response. For me personally, it's something that damages rather than heals the relationships so defeats the object of punishment.

That said, if something happened that made him very angry and upset and he wanted to walk away or send me away until he was calm and thinking clearer, I wouldn't count that as ignoring. That's just processing emotions. This has almost never happened for us but if it did I'd respect that he needed and deserved that space, even if I found it upsetting.

And I know you said 'punishment' but always worth mentioning - I do think it's generally normal and healthy to want some alone time or some time socialising apart; being D/s doesn't change that.



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