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Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 2:32:59 PM

PeonForHer

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Is this really old fashioned? I find that, irrespective of age (though below, say, fifty), some people consider it really formal and chortle at it, whereas some find it completely natural.

I say 'people', but I don't know any women who do it. Fair enough: I admit that when I meet male friends I want to express fondness physically in some minimal way and the only widely-accepted way to do this is by shaking hands. I know quite a few men who've reacted quite badly to hugs - indeed anything beyond handshakes. (I won't ever hug a northern bloke again. God, I did it once and it was traumatic.)

Do you shake hands with friends when you meet? If so, does it feel 'formal' or 'natural'? Do you shake hands with people of the opposite sex or does this feel 'wrong' in some way?

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 2:48:37 PM

Missokyst

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I think its pretty common when meeting new people in a job situation, but less so in a social setting.
Now me.. I generally shake their hand and if they are cute I kinda push my boobies in their direction. Hmm... that's probably not good.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Is this really old fashioned? I find that, irrespective of age (though below, say, fifty), some people consider it really formal and chortle at it, whereas some find it completely natural.

I say 'people', but I don't know any women who do it. Fair enough: I admit that when I meet male friends I want to express fondness physically in some minimal way and the only widely-accepted way to do this is by shaking hands. I know quite a few men who've reacted quite badly to hugs - indeed anything beyond handshakes. (I won't ever hug a northern bloke again. God, I did it once and it was traumatic.)

Do you shake hands with friends when you meet? If so, does it feel 'formal' or 'natural'? Do you shake hands with people of the opposite sex or does this feel 'wrong' in some way?

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 2:49:15 PM

LittleGirlHeart

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if they are friends who are huggers , I hug them. I do not shake hands with people I am friends with, unless that's the only contact they're comfortable with.

when introduced for the first time I will shake hands, it's not that damned hard to do lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Is this really old fashioned? I find that, irrespective of age (though below, say, fifty), some people consider it really formal and chortle at it, whereas some find it completely natural.

I say 'people', but I don't know any women who do it. Fair enough: I admit that when I meet male friends I want to express fondness physically in some minimal way and the only widely-accepted way to do this is by shaking hands. I know quite a few men who've reacted quite badly to hugs - indeed anything beyond handshakes. (I won't ever hug a northern bloke again. God, I did it once and it was traumatic.)

Do you shake hands with friends when you meet? If so, does it feel 'formal' or 'natural'? Do you shake hands with people of the opposite sex or does this feel 'wrong' in some way?

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 3:02:03 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Now me.. I generally shake their hand and if they are cute I kinda push my boobies in their direction. Hmm... that's probably not good.

It's probably better than pushing your boobies in the opposite direction, Missokyst - I'd imagine that could dislocate something.

Some of my female friends are huggers and kissers with me, others are completely the opposite. Funny. One woman's view of fondness from me is another woman's 'don't push your weight'. I generally let the given female friend lead the way.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 3:03:57 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleGirlHeart
if they are friends who are huggers , I hug them. I do not shake hands with people I am friends with, unless that's the only contact they're comfortable with.

I know plenty of men who aren't comfy with more than handshakes with other men. If a woman doesn't hug, she doesn't shake hands either.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 3:09:04 PM

LittleGirlHeart

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well there was a hostess here for a local munch, she wouldn't hug but she did shake hands.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

]\

I know plenty of men who aren't comfy with more than handshakes with other men. If a woman doesn't hug, she doesn't shake hands either.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 3:13:13 PM

Rawni

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With friends, I will hug. Strangers putting their paws on me could get someone hurt and that includes shaking hands in some settings. Even in business, men would try to hold onto my hand a bit longer than I thought appropriate. I could have fifty people I had to greet and address and I simply wasn't shaking all those hands that have been gods knows where, not knowing when they washed and not wanting them to have hold of me. I don't slow dance for the same reason unless I know the person. I might sound anal about this, but strangers don't get access even with as little a thing as a hand shake. I go on my gut and will shake the hand of a stranger, but it has to be my desire to do so, not their own.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 3:24:51 PM

PeonForHer

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I've always felt that were I to meet you, Rawni, I'd be on my most formal behaviour. I'd know that the only appropriate greeting would be to pick you up, pull up your blouse, and blow a huge raspberry on your stomach.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 3:37:14 PM

Rawni

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ROFLMAO! You might get away with it... for the moment.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 3:40:07 PM

LadyPact

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I'm actually not much of a hand shaker unless it's a common practice for a business type setting. I might do it in a social setting *if* I'm not particularly getting a good vibe from someone.

For friends, I'm much more the hugging type. Granted, I'm still the type to ask permission if the person happens to be collared to somebody else. Even folks that I've known for years. I think it's just ingrained on Me at this point.

On a personal note, if you offered to shake My hand if I ever saw you in person, I'd probably look at you like you had three heads.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 3:47:27 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

On a personal note, if you offered to shake My hand if I ever saw you in person, I'd probably look at you like you had three heads.

You get hugs, LP. I know this in the same way as I know that the sun comes up in the morning.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 4:07:27 PM

Duskypearls

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Peon, you asked about shaking friends hands, and remarked about some men's discomfort with hugs.

I've never shaken a friend's hand, that I remember, and usually reserve handshakes for introductions, and only then, if my gut says so, as does Rawni. I am most particular about a person's energy, as I am energy sensitive, and will know in an instant whether it is wise for me to shake or not. Those with dark or devious energies I try to give wide birth, because I don't want any more of their yuckiness than necessary. It is not uncommon for me to simply say, "Forgive me, but I am not a hand shaker." Some give looks, most are fine with it. If they get stuck about it, I merely say, "Hygenics and all, you know?" That they totally get. Only I need to know it's energetic hygenics I practice.

Hugs? It depends on the person and my mood. I never touch or hug a person without their permission. I always ask, "Is it alright to touch your arm, shoulder, etc." or "May I give you a hug?" More than a few folks are touch sensitive or protective these days, or may have had serious trauma in their backgrounds, i.e., beatings, rape, etc. I have no desire to trigger another souls unresolved wounds, or make them wary of me.

In regards to hugging either men or women, once I ask, it's fairly equal, gender-wise. When I sense another's energy is safe and that they would accept a hug and it's occasion appropriate, I will offer a hug. I've only had a couple or three say no, throughout my life, as I'm gratefully pretty spot on with my reading accuracy.

As to receiving hugs, those that already know and have hugged me before, I'm fine with, otherwise I'm the same as with the hand shakes. If their energy's icky, it's the same, "Thank you kindly, but I am not a hugger." Just self-preservation at work.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 4:47:43 PM

MistressDarkArt

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This thread reminds me of an interesting book I read: Kiss Bow or Shake Hands

I'm a hugger and a hand-shaker, but unless I want an energy exchange like Dusky describes, I'd like to get out of the hand-shaking habit. When I was immuno-compromised with anemia, I explained that I couldn't take an exposure risk. I wish we did the own-palms-together 'namaste' in this country. It's respectful, loving, and doesn't invade personal space with unwanted touching/germs.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 6:03:02 PM

dcnovice

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FR

My friends and I generally hug, and I'm slowly training my brothers to hug instead of shaking hands.

One of my dearest friends, whom I met on the first day of college in 1981, can be a bit stiff. I chalk it up, perhaps unfairly, to British boarding schools. We used to shake hands, but that seems too forced now, so we don't usually touch much at all.

Earlier this year, he kindly took me to the ER and waited till my folks were on their way. Before leaving, he gave me a hug--our first ever. It almost made the ER visit worth it.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 6:09:54 PM

OneGuyOneCamera

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Every girl i know gives a hug and kiss during a social event.
Guys usually just give the head nod.
Only in a business meeting or with someone new will i give a hand shake.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 6:16:05 PM

theshytype

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I'm only a hand-shaker if I'm meeting someone for the first time and it's a more professional meet. I'm not much for hugging either but if it's offered I take it. With family, I hug but only because it's expected. My husband shakes hands with the men in the family and hugs the women.
I do believe it's very much feel-it-out and is dependent on the person and situation.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 6:22:12 PM

TNDommeK

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Hubby shakes hands. He says it's a respect thing. Now if its a girl he knows, he'll hug her. If she is close to us, he will kiss her cheek.
I'm a hugger unless I don't know you, then I'm a hand shaker.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 6:47:03 PM

ShaharThorne

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I am mainly a hand shaker. I am sorta like the shy type unless I really know you.

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 6:50:15 PM

ARIES83

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Yer... It's all over the place down here... I shake a complete strangers hand if it's a guy, when we introduce ourselves, not usually girls but if they want to hand shake thats fine.

I have a friend thats hand shake phobic, but I have another who loves it so theres a two handshake minimum with him, one to say hello, one for goodbye.

If someone has done something for me I'll often add a handshake into the goodbye...

Someone tried some multi-stage handshake on me the other day haha...

And I use to do them when I was younger as well.

The only thing thats awkward is when someone tries to shake with their left hand, I don't pull them up on it because I appreciate the effort but I feel embarrassed for them haha.
I probably should pull them up...

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RE: Shaking Hands - 7/10/2013 6:55:59 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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I shake hands when first meeting someone, unless they look like they would be uncomfortable with that (some women are). Pretty much always in a professional setting, I agree it's a respect thing and common social etiquette.

With friends, I'm a hugger. I don't have any friends who are uncomfortable with hugging, we're all huggers. Maybe that's why their my friends?

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