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What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 1:06:01 PM   
cranialcarnage


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		I'd like to know the first three rules that everyone's Dom/me gave to them, and whether or not they had any trouble following them at first. I would also like to know the initial rules that the Dom/mes gave to their subs, and if they had any trouble enforcing them. I am asking because the Dom I am speaking to now is the first one I have met that has given me any solid rules and has actually been able to make me WANT to follow them.

1) Be willing to learn what I have to teach you.

This one has been the easiest so far. I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge, and it makes me smile to know that someone wants to quench that thirst. The Dom that gave me these rules has told me to write him a long email each day, and since I can't just send a one paragraph email, it is forcing me to brainstorm. When I do this, I end up learning new things about myself. He also has me read his message threads on b.com, so I am learning new things about him as well. He wants to teach me about life, about himself, and about me. It is a bit overwhelming, but I am looking forward to it.

2) Be obedient.

This one has been just a tad difficult for me, since I am used to doing things my way and he has been slowly incorporating new routines into my everyday life. He has me kneel and meditate for ten minutes every night before bed (I really just want to fall into bed when I am tired, but the meditation is helping my nightmares disappear), he has me keep my mouth just barely open a bit and sit with knees parted an inch or two (this is actually helping with my posture quite a bit, and for some reason makes me feel sexier), and he has me kneel when I talk to him on the phone. His reasoning for this is because he wants this behavior to be second nature if we end up entering into a relationship, and these are very basic behaviors that he wants in a sub.

3)Protect myself at all costs.

This one has been extremely difficult for me, in ways that I didn't expect. He wants me to protect myself against HNG's (I do it anyway), he wants me to avoid putting myself in dangerous situations (I do that, too), and he wants me to take care of myself in normal situations by not being so damned clumsy. However, he ALSO wants me to maintain emotional and mental stability, which means talking about my problems and feelings instead of always trying to sort them out myself. I have always been a very private person when it comes to my thought processes, and even though it is becoming easier and more rewarding to talk, it is also very painful. Hopefully, it wil get easier with time.

Oh, there is something else he said that he does not seem to consider a rule, more like a DUH! thing; my safety always comes before his happiness. This means that if I EVER feel unsafe or uncomfortable with something that he wants me to do, or if I ever feel unsafe with him personally in the slightest, I am to tell him immediately, instead of trying to please him and hating myself afterwards. That last part really made me smile, especially since I was the one that just let it slip out without thinking (in what I perceived afterwards to be a very domineering tone) and he agreed without hesitation. This tells me he may actually be serious about this, and not just some moron getting his rocks off on having me do what he says from halfway across the country (he is in Colorado, and I am in Georgia).


< Message edited by cranialcarnage -- 11/14/2004 1:20:38 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 1:44:22 PM   
SensualHaze


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Originally...Puerto Rico, livin' in TX
Status: offline 		Interesting question, and excellent answers as well...rules that everyone should probably follow. They are the basis to a safe, consensual and happy relationship, in my humble opinion.

My Master's first three rules were a spin on what your Master's are...I think they will all be somewhat similar because if S/He truly wants whats best for you and themselves, they will always want open honesty.

Trust your instinct.
~Basically, he never wanted me to question myself about an uneasy feeling. If I feel uneasy, its for good reason and its not to question why, but where does it comes/came from. He just wants me to be ever mindful of what my comfort zone is/was (its ever changing as the trust grows). This is really a very simplistic explaination to the discussion we had in regards to this, but its the jist of it. He and i both agree that too many times, we drown out that voice that is screaming to us that something just doesn't seem or feel right.

Questions are good.
~Just because you need some clarification, or more discussion doesn't mean that you are going against your Dom/Master or that you are being insubordinate, it just means you need to get it straight in your mind. If you are ever unsure, then you wont do it right, or well or maybe even at all. He wants me to obey, in order to obey I need to know what he wants, and clearly or i might just muck it up and risk his displeasure/anger/disappointment.

Close your eyes and feel.
~Boy was this one subjective, but he meant it literally AND not so literally. Sometimes we get very caught up in all the questions rolling around, sometimes there are so many, we don't really know what it is we are trying to ask. The questions are always welcomed...always, but they must be focused or how can He really know what it is your searching for. This is not a game...it is not about manipulation, so questions to 'feel Him/Her out' are inappropriate...tends to leads to manipulation. Ask what it is you are wanting to know, but also know unequivically what it is you need to know. Sometimes to do this, you just have to close your eyes and focus. Understand yourself and where the emotions are coming from. Where is the confusion, quandry...disarray. Sometimes, you'll find it right inside, you just need to find the end of the rope and hang on. If your waving your hands furiously, you just sink, even if you know how to swim.

Good luck in your relationship...it seems to be getting off on the right foot!


(in reply to cranialcarnage)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 3:55:23 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline
quote:

I give the following as standing orders-

Protect the Property.
You are mine- my property, my plaything, my slave. Take care of yourself when I am not there to take care of you. That includes, but is not limited to, eating right, sleeping enough, and being careful when driving. This includes protecting yourself from me, if you feel it is needed. It also means not sharing our lifestyle with people who will not understand it for the equal, caring relationship it is. You are the final judge of what is best for you. That is your job. Mine is to take care of my health, you, and myself.

Trust.
Trust me never to do anything that will damage you, in body, mind, or spirit. Trust me always to want to do the best thing for you, and to be the best I can for you. Trust in me to trust in you. Trust me to speak from my heart and try to think before I speak. Trust me to remember that I care for you, even if I am upset. Trust me when I say that I would rather be hurt by the truth than made foolish with a lie. Trust me with your honesty, and trust mine with you.


Obey.
Obey me even when you don’t understand what I am getting at. I will always explain why later, if you still do not understand. I will always treat you with respect and courtesy, and I want you to remember that in leading I am serving us as much as you do in following. We are a partnership of equals, and letting me lead does not make you less of a partner.


Midear Carnage-

The above is from my standard 'boilerplate' contract, which I have come up with over the years-

I am struck by the parallels to your instructions. I think this guy might be a good un<g>.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to cranialcarnage)
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RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 4:15:13 PM   
princess4Sir


Posts: 51
Joined: 4/15/2004
Status: offline 		my first three instructions were:

1. always obey my master (which was not a problem - i revel in obedience)

2. communicate openly about everything in our relationship - especially if i was instructed to do something to which i had a strong aversion

3. spend 5 minutes in a particular position at the end of every day, clearing my mind of any thoughts other than my master and focusing solely on him

(in reply to cranialcarnage)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 5:12:19 PM   
cranialcarnage


Posts: 34
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, I do feel he is a good one. I am already quite enamored with him; I am being very careful, though. Even though he is swiftly taking over my heart, he has not conquered my overanalytical mind (yet).

The rule I am having the most trouble with is #3; since I have to work so hard at protecting myself now, I wonder if this means no sweeping in to save the day when someone I know is in trouble? My Superman complex is kicking my ass over here!

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 6:42:05 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Mine were similar to yours, Carnage.

1. -Trust-
Trust that he means what he says. Trust that he doesn't lie. Trust that he cares for me more than anything else. Trust that when he does/says something, he does/says it becuase it is the truth and because it pleases him, -not- to humour me.

2. Protect yourself, mentally and physically.
Because I'm his, and because he wants me whole. This is hard for me because it means protecting myself from my family and myself.

This is helpful, though, in learning to get my bipolar under control. He's very very supportive, and it gives helps me to overcome my horrible guilt (which prompts me to damage myself) to say that while I might not feel worthy of being whole, -he- is worthy of having a whole girl.

3. Talk
Keep communication open no matter how you feel or what's going on. Say what you have to say, but say it in the proper way.


_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to cranialcarnage)
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RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 7:20:14 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		How about:

Be on time, pay attention, and play like hell.

OK, OK, that's stolen from John Madden.

(in reply to perverseangelic)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 7:44:19 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		this slave's first three rules were: #1 NEVER go to Master's email without His express permission. #2. Always be open, honest and be respectful to O/others. #3. Speak up when something is bothering her. (this is a rule she is still working on as she has had some tell her that her feelings are not important and therefore she shuts down when she is upset or hurt by something Master has said/done or not said/done) another rule she struggles with on occasion is NO touching her cunny unless Master gives His permission for her to do so.



_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/14/2004 7:58:17 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		My first dom was online and the rules were specific ones:
1. always address him as Master
2. never wear panties when chatting with him
3. never correct typing or spelling mistakes unless it can't be read, he always said that was a waste of everyone's time

a few others were:
--when he goes out for a smoke or for coffee always write him a thoughtful note for him to read on his return
--honesty at all times of course
--family always comes first

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to cranialcarnage)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/15/2004 7:51:12 AM   
UtahGoddess


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline 		The first 3 rules I give my boys are:

1) Everything I say, reflects on my Misstress

2) Everything I do, reflects on my Misstress

3) Before I say or do anything, I will stop and ask myself "Would Misstress approve?"

Ms Sandi

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/15/2004 9:33:05 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		Master gave His slave 25 rules. without question, the first one is the one that is the hardest for "others"(for example, some of the people here at CM have difficulty or refuse to read this slave's posts because she refers to herself in the third person) to understand.

#1. Upon acceptance of this life all that this slave is belongs to Master, therefore no longer will the words "My, Me, Mine or I" be appropriate. As a posession of Master, all reference will consider this.

#2. Cumming is a gift given by Master, permission to do so must be requested and granted by Master.

#3. within 30 seconds of being alone or with Master, all clothing must be removed.

(in reply to cranialcarnage)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/15/2004 10:42:46 AM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline
quote:

#1. Upon acceptance of this life all that this slave is belongs to Master, therefore no longer will the words "My, Me, Mine or I" be appropriate. As a posession of Master, all reference will consider this.

#2. Cumming is a gift given by Master, permission to do so must be requested and granted by Master.

#3. within 30 seconds of being alone or with Master, all clothing must be removed.


ok admittedly, that sounds exactly like what Master told this one right after this slave told Him that she didn't see herself as His submissive but more as His slave, which brought on a whole new set of vows/affirmations for her to repeat after Him. from that day forth this slave has NOT been allowed to say "I, Me, Mine or My" in any way shape or form and if she slips up then she gets punished, sometimes she slips up and says them. the hard part is that in her R/L life, she is sometimes the boss on a construction site and has to assert authority so when she gets home the "I, Me, Mine and My" are still in her vocabulary from that day and try as she might she has a hard time chasing it out of her vocabulary.




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/15/2004 11:29:30 AM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:


Obey.
Obey me even when you don’t understand what I am getting at. I will always explain why later, if you still do not understand. I will always treat you with respect and courtesy, and I want you to remember that in leading I am serving us as much as you do in following. We are a partnership of equals, and letting me lead does not make you less of a partner.


I was resently presented this one in a similar manner (different words of course) It meant more then just being told to "obey". Which in turn makes it easier to do so.

All were pretty much the same as everyone's here;

1) Trust
2) Honor
3) Obey

Without rules I would be a bit on the wild side. lol

Take care,






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/17/2004 1:45:36 PM   
juicycute


Posts: 42
Joined: 10/6/2004
From: Hemet, CA
Status: offline
quote:



Protect the Property...
Trust...
Obey.




Wow, I really like those.

~juicycute

(in reply to topcat)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/17/2004 3:28:07 PM   
Brindle


Posts: 33
Joined: 10/18/2004
From: West Yorkshire, UK
Status: offline
quote:


1) Be willing to learn what I have to teach you.

2) Be obedient.

3)Protect myself at all costs.



He's a keeper

Oh - and yes I love the response from UtahGodess too!

_____________________________

"Producing Brindle mice is fortunately very simple. Brindle is dominant...The easiest way is to find an English male with exceptional type...There is no reason Brindles can't have elegant ears, big eyes, long bodies and well set-on whip-like tails."

(in reply to cranialcarnage)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What were your first three rules? - 11/17/2004 7:09:12 PM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline 		1) Never be a *yes* girl... he would rather me be total honest and up front in what I thought/felt

2) Always try my best. It doesn't matter if I succeed as long as I have tried my best.

3) Always trust,, even if I have a *problem*. Not blind faith, but basic trust that he is doing what HE believes is best, even if I don't agree. Kinda ironic given rule one, but it does work. I DO trust something may be what he wants/ needs/ likes/ or desires, but, even where I will go along with it, I will flat out say *no* when he asks if I like it or something if I don't. ::laughing:: the main idea is knowing my place. He has given me the right to tell him I don't like something, just not the right to tell him he can't do it *just* because I don't like it.....

_____________________________

Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

(in reply to Brindle)
Profile   Post #: 16
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