RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert?

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/15/2013 4:02:09 PM

bearcatw125

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/22/2008
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I do consider myself as an introvert. That doesn't mean that I am submissive because I am introverted. In fact, I find myself being more outgoing when I am in a D/s relationship. I go out to more events and try to meet new people. I don't get that overwhelmed feeling as often when I am with someone I know. I'm there to support her and she is there to support me. That makes it a lot more comfortable.

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/15/2013 7:33:01 PM

mysouldesire

Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

Sort of a tangent, but I wanted to share an observation. I am talking about male subs as that's the only experience I have (being a femdom).

I used to think that many were "shy" or "introverted" and that's what attracted them to dominant women - the idea of not having to pursue or make mistakes in the process of courtship.

But after reading more, I think the reality is that many have 'social anxiety' which is totally different. Still, to them, the idea of a dominant woman is appealing because it removes a lot of the stress and anxiety of pursuing or making moves or leading in a relationship. The idea is absolutely a good fit for them. They can communicate very effectively via email and in safe environments and often do very well at the initial stages.

Then when it comes to meeting, they don't show up. We call them "flakes," but in reality, it's social anxiety. They may have started to feel absolutely comfortable. But the time comes to meet and it's not that they just were stringing her along, they are terrified of meeting because of their issues with social anxiety. And as much as they felt like it was going great, when it came time to actually meet, the social anxiety was too strong. Then comes the overwhelming sense of disappointment in themselves and letting down the lady, and they cannot face her or themselves so they vanish. Until they get the courage to start over with someone else and the cycle continues.

Akasha

I identify very well with this Akasha, very much so. But I am also an introvert along with the social anxiety. But I do and will take risks to meet a potential man. Go figure.

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/18/2013 2:34:05 PM

desrtmouse

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Joined: 7/1/2013
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Thank you all for your replies. Clearly just from looking at what everyone said, you are all right in that the two (introvert/extrovert and Dom/sub) are very different. Still I find it all very interesting, thank you all for helping me to understand it a bit better. Personally I'm a lot like Mysouldesire in that I'm both a introvert and have social anxieties, though I am working on the later part. As odd as it might sound, sometimes understanding things like this helps me with that. Then again lol perhaps it's just a excuse I use to try and understand people better.

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/20/2013 10:12:26 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

Newbies and outsiders often confuse sexual dominance personalities with social leadership personalities.

My man is both socially and sexually dominant, so he's our social director. I prefer to not be socially dominant in new situations, but when I was married, my husband was more of an introvert than I was so I was the social director then. We were in the military when we married and had to take the MBTI in order to be allowed to be married. The counselor explained how our results could manifest in our marriage, and this was accurate as far as the part I remember (introvert/extrovert) went.

I am Alpha at work and in family situations.

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/20/2013 1:43:25 PM

WebWanderer

Posts: 255
Joined: 5/20/2011
From: Fort Worth, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama
We were in the military when we married and had to take the MBTI in order to be allowed to be married.

Allowed by whom? O_o If your MBTI types were deemed incompatible by the military, would you have been banned from marrying each other? Or would you just get a thumbs down from your counselor?

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/22/2013 6:29:08 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moonlightmaddnes

I am! Every time I take a personality test it comes out as ISFP. I took it several times over the years to see if it changes or rather me trying to fool it. Nope always stays ISFP. The I is for introvert. Actually ISFP means Introvert-Sensor-Feeler-Perceiver. The part of traits that makes me laugh the hardest is, ISFPs feel confined by schedules, rules, regulations and people with limited imagination. Yeah so :p get an imagination already. LMAO

I resulted as ESFP. I'm practically as extroverted as they come, and I hate rules, regulations and limited imagination LOL. I'm a leader at work, and submissive to my Owner.

I don't see personality traits as necessarily tied to relationship orientation. I love being obedient to him, yes. I can't help but be so to him. But I'm definitely an extrovert, no question.

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/24/2013 7:36:16 AM

Kaninchen

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Joined: 7/18/2013
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I would consider myself mostly introverted, but a little extroverted. I often find socialising quite tiring, but when someone gets into my inner circle of friends, I then enjoy their company to a ponit where it is no longer exhuasting to be social.

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/24/2013 7:46:06 AM

Marc2b

Posts: 6660
Joined: 8/7/2006
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I'd like to chime in here.

My gal (submissive) is, in RL, very outgoing. She is the kind of person who can walk into a room full of strangers and make friends in a matter of minutes. I (dominate), on the other hand, am quiet and reserved and rather uncomfortable in large crowds (theater excepted because everyone is seated and well behaved).

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RE: Do you see yourself as a introvert? - 7/25/2013 3:53:31 PM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
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I'm an extrovert - but he's more extroverted than I am. In my experience most submissives are extroverts and most Doms are introverts.

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Post #: 29