for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ...

for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (Full Version)

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kiska -> for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 1:11:29 AM)
When I posted about my sunburn experience a lot of people suggested I dump my boyfriend. I've lived with the man for almost a year ... Our anniversary would have been August 21 ... The idea of leaving him was the farthest thing from my mind ... WAS being the operative word here. He dumped me today ... Through an ex girlfriend of his from high school who spent two days sending me the most cruel and hateful emails you can imagine and finally through a text message sent to me from himself directly. He has given me two weeks to get my stuff together and move elsewhere; he assures me that he is very sorry, that he will help me find someplace to go (whatever that means) and that he does not hate me. He's also very sorry. Or did I mention that yet? Blah ... I'm not bitter, just disgusted. And really, I don't want this thread to turn into a male bashing thing or even bashing the boyfriend ... And I hope I don't end up coming across to people as hostile over the next few weeks but if I do, refer to this thread and please bare with me as I get my head back on, hopefully straight this time.

Rule -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 1:23:34 AM)
How did she get your email address? This may eventually prove to be a new opportunity that enabled you to change and improve your life. The universe will arrange for you to 'accidentally' meet a suitable new partner. Best wishes, Rule.

givemyall -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 1:23:42 AM)
Sorry to hear your bad experience..... people can be so damn hurtful at times. Im having lots of hassle with mine at the moment and as much as I try, I cant get him out of my head. I know the sensible thing would be to walk away, but it means starting over again..... but who knows what is round the corner.... something better I hope! Your story reminds me of something that happened to me a few years ago - only it involved another women who just happened to be my sister (oooh dont get me on that topic lol)..... anyway, before I left, I removed one of the kickboards from under the built in cooker and put a lovely piece of steak in the space, screwed the kickboard back into place and took joy over the next few months that everytime she cooked him a meal in the oven, a minging smell would waft about the house - brought me hours of fun thinking about it. Anyway, I moved on, laughed alot and survived, its amazing the good that can come from bad! I'm sure you will rise above him and his nasty friend - good luck!

kiska -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 1:31:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule How did she get your email address? This may eventually prove to be a new opportunity that enabled you to change and improve your life. The universe will arrange for you to 'accidentally' meet a suitable new partner. Best wishes, Rule. I had written him a very long email telling him how I felt about the past few weeks and us not spending much time together, basically telling him that I missed him and he forwarded it to her like it was a joke or something. So she started in on me, informing me that he's been intentionally ignoring me and I need to get it through my head that I'm leeching all the joy out of his life and I need to leave him alone. She said worse things but thats the general gist of it ... So, he pretty much gave it to her and told her to sic me.

SirCumsSlut -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 3:22:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiska quote: ORIGINAL: Rule How did she get your email address? This may eventually prove to be a new opportunity that enabled you to change and improve your life. The universe will arrange for you to 'accidentally' meet a suitable new partner. Best wishes, Rule. I had written him a very long email telling him how I felt about the past few weeks and us not spending much time together, basically telling him that I missed him and he forwarded it to her like it was a joke or something. So she started in on me, informing me that he's been intentionally ignoring me and I need to get it through my head that I'm leeching all the joy out of his life and I need to leave him alone. She said worse things but thats the general gist of it ... So, he pretty much gave it to her and told her to sic me. Will say this much about the SCHMUCK. There I said it......now remember this For every door that closes a new door opens.....take this as a sign from the heavens....Go out an make your mark on the world and in years to come think back on the "SCHMUCK" laugh and thank him for being the "SCHMUCK" that inspired you to FAR GREATER THINGS

kiska -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 6:06:42 AM)
I know that I'm better than this. I know I deserve better than this. There is a part of me that wants to dance around the room singing, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free! When he and I got together he told me he'd never dumped anyone before and I told him I'd made up my mind I wasn't going to leave him. We made a pact that no matter what happened we'd stay together. So, I guess subconciously thats been hanging over my head all this time and now he's broken that pact so I'm no longer bound to it. The rest of me is kind of cringing in a corner going ... Ok ... Now what? I've been through worse. Compared to a lot of what I've been through, this is minor. But it doesn't feel very minor right now. It feels like a betrayal ... On so many levels. I was fully prepared to give up expressing my submission for this man ... For the rest of my life. I was prepared to sacrifice a lot of personal dreams and goals to make him happy ... Most importantly to me, I was completely and totally honest with him about every thing from the very beginning. Only to discover that he's not who I thought he was. Not only that but there are so many lies and deceptions and secrets coming out of the woodwork right now. My head is spinning. I'm shocked and startled that I was willing to commit myself to such a person. I don't know him at all. I've been in love with him for almost 18 months and I've lived with him for almost a year but I know jack about who he really is. With this ex girlfriend of his standing at his shoulder, directing his every move, he's become downright catty and vindictive. I am afraid of what I will have to endure over the next 6 months to a year because I figure thats going to be how long it will take to get my life back together. I'm not ashamed to admit it ... I'm afraid.

Lashra -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 8:26:39 AM)
Look at this as a learning experience and an opportunity to move on to bigger and better things. Being single is scarey..at first. But once things fall into place it gets easier over time. You'll find the right guy, but give it time and don't rush into anything. Nothing worse then getting involved with someone while your on the rebound. Good luck, ~Lashra

meatcleaver -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 8:35:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kiska I'm shocked and startled that I was willing to commit myself to such a person. I don't know him at all. I've been in love with him for almost 18 months and I've lived with him for almost a year but I know jack about who he really is. I'm not ashamed to admit it ... I'm afraid. As Nietzche said, 'A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.' I can empathise with the shocked and stunned. Experience tells me that we never really know anyone, not even ourselves most of the time.

mnottertail -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 8:40:14 AM)
Remember, love........the stupid chicken dance can be performed without real emotion.......the effects are the same. (I hope you remember what I am referring to...) You SHOULD dance!!!!!!!! You are now able to find the love of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It is like they say in the beer commercials, it doesn't get any better than this. Sincerely, Ron

MasterKalif -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 9:02:21 AM)
wow thats horrible....I dont understand how these "doms" get any chances and the serious ones dont even get taken into account.... too bad kiska left!

kiska -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 10:42:02 AM)
I've not left ... I just don't have my profile active ... As to whether or not he's a 'real Dom' ... He told me months ago he no longer wanted to be in the lifestyle. I accepted that as his personal choice and I made a personal choice to stay with him anyway.

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 10:54:32 AM)
Alright, someone has to do it. I volunteer to drive to South Carolina, kick him in the taint and yell Bingo.

SweetDommes -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 11:12:45 AM)
Stop by my house on the way and I'll take the pics ... I need a good, amusing vacation anyway.

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 11:19:17 AM)
Alright, we have a deal. [;)] I think we ought to bring chicken wire. That always comes in handy somewhere.

BuxomGoddess714 -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 11:48:11 AM)
Maybe... God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Maybe...when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, often times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us. Maybe...it is true that we don't know what we have got until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives. Maybe...the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Maybe...the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches. Maybe...you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of and want to do. Maybe...there are moments in life when you miss someone - a parent, a spouse, a friend, a child - so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real. Maybe...the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. We should all have one. Maybe...you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too. Maybe...you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone. Maybe...giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours. Maybe...happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives. Maybe...you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy printed with permission from LordNightScreams

kiska -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 1:24:47 PM)
I'm sure that when I'm in a better frame of mind I'll read that post and think, wow ... Thats really profound. Right now, I'm just sitting here going ... Ok ... The last thing I need right now is a bunch of maybes. I need some definite answers ... I mean, I realize that the end of this relationship means that I'm free to find the love of my life and I'm free to do all these great and wonderful things but I'm also sitting here going ... OK, I don't have a job. I've been devoting all my time and efforts into finishing a course in medical claims and billing so I could start working and improve OUR financial situation and OUR lives ... Now, there is no us, there is no OUR anything ... And I have two weeks to figure out how to get a job (without being able to drive a car, mind you), move some place else, and start over ... Its hugely scary. I know that I can do it ... I'm not sitting here without any options whatsoever but the options I have aren't very clear to me and they're not what I wanted and the little girl inside me just wants to crawl into a warm safe place and hide until the storm passes by. Obviously that is NOT one of my options ... Never is. I will never again trust another person to handle my financial situation; even to go to school. You just never know when they're going to turn on you. I did kind of smile at the mental image of NakedOnMyChain coming with a posse of angry women to kick his taint and yell Bingo ... Its nice to have friends who stick up for you. I feel like a complete idiot right now ... I believed him when he told me I needed to focus on my classes and not work. I believed him when he told me that things were hard right now but they'd get better. Right up to this morning, I believed every word as the truest of all true things I'd ever heard. I'm an idiot.

MasterCurios -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 1:37:53 PM)
take heart that this may be the time to prioritize yourself.the old clique of "time heals all wounds"may be old and outta date but it still holds true.looking one direction for fault will not help but looking at the whole picture,whether bitter or sweet will .....while i dont know all i do know from experience that the above mentioned holds true. Master Curios

NakedOnMyChain -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 4:20:25 PM)
You are not an idiot. You trust humanity and that is a good thing. We all have to learn the hard way sometimes that some are not as nice as they say they are. I am wishing you the best, honey.

ArtimisBlack -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 5:13:37 PM)
I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. Some people really are just lying jerks. I know how afraid you must be not having a job or car.....Did you finish your course? If so, maybe you can get a position doing that type of work. What type of work have you done in the past? What ways can you travel (is there a bus or train nearby)? You mentioned he offered to help you find someplace to go, I wonder if he will help you out financially as well. If he will, things (in that respect) may not be as bad as they seem. If you need help fining a job or a place to live while you heal your heart, let me know. I'll give you all the help I can.

FelinePersuasion -> RE: for everyone who told me to dump my boyfriend ... (6/28/2006 11:43:37 PM)
You most positivly certaintly are NOT an idiot. We are supposed to trust our mates. That does not make us an idiot when they turn out to be boners. quote: ORIGINAL: kiska I'm an idiot.

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