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Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 6:46:49 AM   
Bill41


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline 		I have met a Mistress online we spoke for a few days then she invited me to meet her and one of her male slaves at a public place. We spoke privately for an hour an I agreed to follow her to her dungeon. We spoke for a while she asked me many questions as did I. Then she had me undress an inspected me. She then asked if I would be her slave I told he my concerns about wearing a collar 24/7 I work a very public job and these collars are very hard to hide all the time. I think she is a very skilled Mistress and I have met her family and other 2 slaves. She wants me to make a decision within the next 10 days. In your experiences must a slave always be collared in order to show is faithfulness and that it is owned. I have limited experience as a slave it was really more of slave play sessions then a true slave. Any feedback would be helpful.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 7:13:02 AM   
MissKittyDeVine


Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline 		You've met her once and she is calling you her slave?

A collar should mean something more than this.

_____________________________

Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to Bill41)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 7:23:39 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		If this story is not bullshit, then run. Nobody should collar a slave based upon a physical inspection, a onetime meeting, and one conversation. Especially if she has three slaves that you will need to gauge compatibility with.

This sounds more like a wank fantasy than real life.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 7:27:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Have to say I agree here. Would you marry a person that you had this little contact with? Would you sign a contract for a business partnership on such little information?

I'm going to predict a big headache coming your way, OP.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 7:44:35 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Where to start.

Assuming that this isn't bullshit....

Are you sure that the domme's idea of "collaring" and your idea of "collaring" match?

If you take collaring to mean a symbol of ownership, then what the blazes are you doing giving up ownership of you to someone you've only met in person once?

Seriously, Bill - you seem like you've got a head on your shoulders in your profile, how sensible do you think that is, man?

If she takes collaring to mean a symbol of ownership, then what the fuck is she doing taking on that level of responsibility for someone she's only met in person once? That's properly fucked up.

Now...

Collars... I'm not a "collar" type of guy, but I can respect those people for whom a collar is an important thing. They come in all shapes and sizes... and some of them can be purely symbolic. So I've known subs who wear a ring on their finger to work as their "collar" and replace it with the full monty when they get home.

More often than not, Dommes or Doms will take the view that the sub knows he/she is collared so a physical symbol isn't necessary all of the time.

Certainly, if a Dom or Domme insisted on a collar that might be seen, and might cause their sub problems at work I'd be thinking that the D in question was a bit of a fuckwad.


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to Bill41)
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RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 8:48:11 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Everything they said.....everything.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 9:08:49 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Nobody should collar a slave based upon a physical inspection, a onetime meeting, and one conversation. Especially if she has three slaves that you will need to gauge compatibility with.

^^^This

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 11:22:29 AM   
Bill41


Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline 		This is not bullshit and I Thank you all I am a bit apprehensive to be collared so quickly. I also don't even like the idea of wearing one. I'm service oriented but wearing a collar with a lock is a bit much I agree with crazyml comments. We are going to meet again next week but I will not be accepting a collar at this time I agree I really need to know her better. I'm fairly new to the lifestyle but she is not a fake and we have had 5 conversations but did only meet one time. I also had concerns about the other slaves and if I would even fit in. I have only met them once and we barley spoke. I do enjoy her company but will have to see how it plays out if she wants an answer sooner then I am able to give I guess I will move along. More drama in my life is something I do not want

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 11:30:13 AM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline 		LOL... I'm a tad bit sorry to laugh, but anyone saying they don't need more drama in their life and hooking up with the instant collaring domina... is ironic and I do love irony. Jump right on in there.. with your so called reservations, because you like her. See you in a few months.

(in reply to Bill41)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 11:57:31 AM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Subslave2013

Mistress I am glad you like paradox of the situation. I was just looking for some good honest advice and I have received it. I will conduct myself with caution I am not fool despite my poor choice of words. Thank You for You input.


Another irony... one guy, two profiles, same thread.

Not every dominant cares to be called mistress, nor to be called mistress by someone that doesn't belong to her. Reeks of online bs in my opinion... as well as instant domina, instant sub/slave, instant ownership, instant examinations to see worth. Are we seeing a pattern?

Edit: Bet you didn't count on being seen, quoted and responded to before you could edit. You are learning a lot today. Enjoy your experience.

< Message edited by Rawni -- 7/17/2013 11:58:45 AM >

(in reply to Subslave2013)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 2:17:03 PM   
splatterpunk


Posts: 119
Joined: 7/10/2013
Status: offline 		i think it's a real romantic story bro. don't listen to the haters. follow yr heart ;)

_____________________________

i'll be yr mentor
i'll mentor ya but good

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 4:19:18 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		The actual collar itself is irrelevant. One can call a bracelet a collar, a gold chain a collar, a ring a collar. Many people's collars are in no way obtrusive or obvious. Indeed many people's collars don't physically exist, just the relationships do.

What's important is not the collar, it's the commitment represented by the collar. As Lady Pact asked, would you marry somebody on such a brief and limited acquaintance? If your answer is no, then I would recommend being very reluctant to accept the "collar."

(in reply to splatterpunk)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 7:32:05 PM   
WebWanderer


Posts: 255
Joined: 5/20/2011
From: Fort Worth, TX
Status: offline 		Run, bro.

_____________________________

Author of Introduction to Self-Bondage and Nine Tales of Submission - now available on Kindle! :)

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 7:36:17 PM   
Toysinbabeland


Posts: 1693
Joined: 3/4/2012
From: the other end of Cx's leash
Status: offline 		Op:
You may want to assess accepting ANYONE'S collar for a while.
You can't seriously consider a collar from a person who simply takes it so lightly.

(in reply to WebWanderer)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Collar or Not - 7/17/2013 8:35:39 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		This my feeling... and I am not speaking for anyone else....

If you arent already wearing that collar around your heart (and that doesnt necessarily mean love), then a collar is just a pretty piece of jewelry around your neck.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Bill41)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Collar or Not - 7/18/2013 4:19:03 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissKittyDeVine

You've met her once and she is calling you her slave?

A collar should mean something more than this.


I agree totally with Misskitty, Too soon, too soon.


_____________________________

Chairman of the Lady TNDommeK Appreciation Society, in celebration of all things Ducklippery & Luxuriant :-D.

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Collar or Not - 7/18/2013 9:57:45 AM   
jola37


Posts: 433
Joined: 7/8/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

You can't seriously consider a collar from a person who simply takes it so lightly.


what they said ^

(in reply to Toysinbabeland)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Collar or Not - 7/18/2013 10:05:20 AM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		So she is married to three people already and wants you to be the fourth? Are you ok with marrying four people? Accepting her collar ties you to her and to her subs in equal measure. I'd tell her you dig her so far. You dig what little you know of the other subs yet you need more time to get to know everyone. If that ain't cool. Than fine. Let her and her toys walk.

_____________________________

I am a lover AND a fighter...

(in reply to garyFLR)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Collar or Not - 7/18/2013 12:38:01 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		OP,
I don't know if you're still following this thread, but if you are, I agree with what the others have said. Being collared so soon sounds suspect to me.

But more important than the timing is the act itself. If you don't want to wear a collar for professional reasons, then just tell her that. If she can't understand your logic, then you don't need her anyway.

Also, as others have said, collars can be symbolic, and don't have to be literal collars. Bracelets, rings, cock rings, and other items can serve as physical representations as well.

Personally, I have always viewed D/s as a mutually agreed upon relationship that requires no collar. Therefore, I have never worn one. But the D/s dynamic was every bit as real, despite the lack of a physical collar.

_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

(in reply to Bill41)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Collar or Not - 7/18/2013 2:30:45 PM   
MsSylverdawn


Posts: 147
Joined: 9/26/2011
Status: offline 		Ive never required a lock and chain... boys in service wear a symbolic item not because I think its necessary but. rather because I think its highly erotic to think. for me to that at some point duringe the day whatever it is will catch his attention and transport him back to me in his mind even momentarily...his blood might rush.. his cheeks might heat..hell he might even get twinge in his drawers...Now I do like more heavy duty stuff if we are dressing for a event... but collars are an internal thing rather than an external thing for me in general.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 20
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