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njlauren -> RE: Woman feels she should be a paraplegic... (7/19/2013 10:18:06 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
quote:
ORIGINAL: Duskypearls
I have not read the entire thread, and am not through my first cuppa joe. I remember coming upon limb amputation obsession (not of a sexual nature) about 2 years ago, and felt both disturbed and fascinated, simultaneously. I only read a bit on it, but what stood out most for me was some of these folks so strongly feel that a limb(s) of theirs does NOT belong to them, it feels horrible, they hate it, would go as far as to be willing to amputate themselves (some successfully) to be rid of it, and felt 100% normal for the first time in their life, and were happy once they were free of it.
Some likened it to feeling like those being born the wrong sex, and were absolutely tormented by the unwanted limb(s) presence. Fascinating stuff, indeed.
There were a couple patients like that at the hospital where I used to work. I've never thought of it in terms of the gender issue. This is an interesting idea. Must think on it a bit...
*edited to add: It has always struck me as odd that people willingly cut off parts of themselves. Even if it is a transgender thing, I find it disturbing that they readily remove this or that from their physical body. There has to be a better way than the whole binary pov....
With transgender people, it isn't about the binary pov, it is to them that their mind doesn't match their body. I had a long discussion with a butch lesbian one night, and she said she could wear men's clothing, short hair, etc, so why couldn't a trans person dress as a man or woman and feel content? After several drinks, I think I got the point across that she being butch is how she plays out her gender, but in the end, she identified as a butch woman, not a man, and was happy with her genitals and even her breasts, she was happy being butch.
That isn't true of a trans person (the type who go all the way), to them, it just doesn't feel right, any more than a typical woman on this board who woke up one day with a dick, a beard and body hair would feel about them. The whole 'gender identity' is constructed is crap, gender roles to a certain extent are, but no one teaches us to be male or female, maybe how we play it out..... the worse had to be people who say "okay, you know you are a man or woman inside, so why not just live with that?". The problem is that if you are okay with your gender identity, you never realize how important it is, you simply are, you cannot fathom what it is like when it is out of synch, and even imagining "gee, what if I woke up tomorrow with breasts and a vagina" doesn't work...a rough analogy are the straight people who talk about gays needing to 'flaunt their sexuality', and because it is such a part of the fabric of lives for straight people,they don't realize how much they 'flaunt their sexuality' whether it is wedding rings, talking about your date last night, talking about kids and spouses, the kind of clothing young women wear to a bar on saturday night, and so forth, to them that isn't flaunting it, it is just there, but if a gay person wants to do it, dissonance hits; to people who are at comfort with their bodies, the thought of someone not being comfortable with theirs seems odd....
BTW, some trans people are perfectly happy being a man with a vagina or a woman with a penis, to others that is agony to them. I know F to M's who so hate their breasts, they have a hard time even touching them, even to bind them so they don't show, it is that strong.
It is why I made the analogy with this woman. On the other hand, before even contemplating doing that, I think an effort has to be made to see if she can be made more comfortable, which is very similar to what the whole transition process is about with trans people, to see where they can be comfortable, it is a process. It does squick me out, I'll be honest, the thought of someone wanting to be paralyzed with perfectly good legs, but a M to F wants their penis to be made into a vagina, to them a penis is non functional but a vagina is, to this woman they are not functional unless she is paralyzed, it is a totally different mindset.
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