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She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 8:47:51 AM

MrRodgers

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The desire and art...of pain.

It has been my experience during my first voyage here and generally through the kinkosphere, that there are those who have, through their own extensive experience, found satisfaction that exists anywhere and yes, anyhow one might choose, even if not by any of the traditional methods...found it on the net. Now of course the question arises because she was a very attractive 40 bi slave/maso who has spent almost her entire adult life (over 20 years) slave to her master (husband) of about that long, then, just like that...lost him.

However, she still desired kink and not just any kink...but pain. Maybe not just any pain. This was good solid midwestern, Christian, work ethic type kinky pain...pain with a purpose. So, she really missed it and still very much needed at least some of what she had before. Now to be sure, I write of this only because this women is beautiful and sexy and had to be an email magnet with the pick of the litter, so to speak. I guess they failed to impress.

So what did she do ? Amazing ! Seems that for reasons truly of her own desire and understanding, she had these men come in and give her a going over and one not for the fainthearted either as she was and is obviously I can confirm...made of sterner stuff. She loved the ministrations of the pro. That's right, a pro. I ask myself how is this, but it is in the end...beautiful. Everything about this woman is beautiful and IS the essence of a desire for continuing kink and pain.

Isn't this woman an inspiration, practicing some sort of Zen minimalism ?

He arrives, gets paid, delivers, and goes ? But that also inspires the obvious question. It came as somewhat of a surprise even to me that with this desire she had, that she couldn't get this satisfaction otherwise, even in the vast landscape of the kinkosphere. Was there nobody out of all this, not a single sadist to come, give here what she wants and just go, just finding it a pleasure for both without the business ? Apparently not but wonder that being in just such an exalted position, (money was no object) did she even really give it a try ? I don't think so but haven't touched base in a long time now.

Post #: 1

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 1:27:41 PM

kiwisub12

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Is this a question?

(in reply to MrRodgers)

Post #: 2

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 1:30:22 PM

kiwisub12

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Joined: 1/11/2006
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OK - she needed pain after loosing her master. Been there, felt that urge without the wherewithal to hire someone to do it for me. Yep - I wanted pain, cane pain, I wanted to be beaten until I could cry and hope that with the pain cry, I could get rid of some of the emotional pain.
And I didn't want there to be any hint of relationship with it. I just wanted to be beaten. If there had been a pro sadist, I would have found the money to pay for it, because that is just what I needed.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 3

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 2:27:37 PM

SwitchNSpanky

Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

OK - she needed pain after loosing her master. Been there, felt that urge without the wherewithal to hire someone to do it for me. Yep - I wanted pain, cane pain, I wanted to be beaten until I could cry and hope that with the pain cry, I could get rid of some of the emotional pain.
And I didn't want there to be any hint of relationship with it. I just wanted to be beaten. If there had been a pro sadist, I would have found the money to pay for it, because that is just what I needed.

This post made me understand the OP lots better. Bravo. And thanks.

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I am a lover AND a fighter...

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Post #: 4

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 2:29:40 PM

SoulAlloy

Posts: 2106
Joined: 8/23/2009
From: Preston, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

OK - she needed pain after loosing her master. Been there, felt that urge without the wherewithal to hire someone to do it for me. Yep - I wanted pain, cane pain, I wanted to be beaten until I could cry and hope that with the pain cry, I could get rid of some of the emotional pain.
And I didn't want there to be any hint of relationship with it. I just wanted to be beaten. If there had been a pro sadist, I would have found the money to pay for it, because that is just what I needed.

yeah I've been there too

_____________________________

"Better to be a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without" - Confucius

"It'll be alright in the end - if it isn't alright, it's not the end." - unknown

Kinky crossdressing Whovian

Host of the Preston (UK) Munch, 2nd Wednesday each month

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 5

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 3:45:04 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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Cripes, how come these chicas never come crying for relief from me.
I wouldn't even charge em...

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to SoulAlloy)

Post #: 6

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 3:57:49 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Because they couldn't dismiss you afterwards.

You would need to have talked to them, to make sure they knew what they were asking for and could handle it.
And that they were okay the next day.

They wanted it impersonal like a pizza delivery as anything else would have seemed a betrayal of their loved one.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 7

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 4:00:52 PM

Kana

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Joined: 10/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Because they couldn't dismiss you afterwards.

You would need to have talked to them, to make sure they knew what they were asking for and could handle it.
And that they were okay the next day.

They wanted it impersonal like a pizza delivery as anything else would have seemed a betrayal of their loved one.

Nah-I can do that. Done it before. May one day do it again.
I'm kinda sociopathic when the mood strikes.

< Message edited by Kana -- 7/19/2013 4:01:03 PM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 4:12:46 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
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From: Apple County NY
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But they couldn't have guaranteed that.
They needed it to be totally impersonal for their own reasons and explaining that, negotiating for that is by itself not as impersonal as they needed.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 9

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 4:17:02 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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This is exactly why i dont play casually.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 5:14:18 PM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Is this a question?

No, just a General BDSM Discussion.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 11

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 5:16:26 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

alrighty..
Yep, some of us need pain in a completely impersonal way. No closeness, no huggies, no discussion. Pain for the sake of pain and maybe a bit of redemption for some of us.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Is this a question?

No, just a General BDSM Discussion.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to MrRodgers)

Post #: 12

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 5:19:38 PM

MrRodgers

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Joined: 7/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

This is exactly why i dont play casually.

I think I am with you...unless whatever followed was also casual. It being a huge pleasure and having sort of semi-retired to a life of pleasure...[it] seems to dominate my pleasure reception cells.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 13

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/19/2013 7:30:48 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

After my husband passed away, I played/fucked lots and lots of men just for the pain/pleasure. I didn't even know most of their names and had no desire to. Just do the deeds and send them home or I go home. It was my way of feeling something, anything to know I was still alive. It was also my way of dealing with my grief and punishing myself for my fuck-ups and his death.

After a few years though I finally woke up and realized I had to deal with my life in a healthy way and that definitely was not a healthy way.

So this admiration you have for this woman may not be what you think it is.

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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to MrRodgers)

Post #: 14

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/20/2013 5:47:48 AM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

After my husband passed away, I played/fucked lots and lots of men just for the pain/pleasure. I didn't even know most of their names and had no desire to. Just do the deeds and send them home or I go home. It was my way of feeling something, anything to know I was still alive. It was also my way of dealing with my grief and punishing myself for my fuck-ups and his death.

After a few years though I finally woke up and realized I had to deal with my life in a healthy way and that definitely was not a healthy way.

So this admiration you have for this woman may not be what you think it is.

Well, I just liked her very much. My admiration was for her dedication to a proposition...she needed pain, period. No sex BTW and was going to take such steps to get it and if anybody online or off wanted more...that was tuff. Using a pro simplified the matter.

I am thinking and we touched on it, that any sex would just create or deepen an attachment and she didn't want that and I think a part of it may have been that she had lost her husband only months prior. She did say that of all of the men she had met online, I was one who she would have met for more and I think because I made her laugh and we had good times but to meet for anymore it was me who suggested...we not, if only because in such matters, because in my experience and opinion, no man would ever be as good and as satisfying as her husband.

Wouldn't be fair to me to meet just for pain, and unfair to her to meet for sex and pain if she really didn't want to go there.

She has likely found it all by now or maybe not as we haven't remained in touch. Just had this written down and thought I'd add it the general discussion.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 15

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/20/2013 8:41:46 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
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42

(in reply to MrRodgers)

Post #: 16

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/20/2013 8:54:08 AM

TieMeInKnottss

Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

After my husband passed away, I played/fucked lots and lots of men just for the pain/pleasure. I didn't even know most of their names and had no desire to. Just do the deeds and send them home or I go home. It was my way of feeling something, anything to know I was still alive. It was also my way of dealing with my grief and punishing myself for my fuck-ups and his death.

After a few years though I finally woke up and realized I had to deal with my life in a healthy way and that definitely was not a healthy way.

So this admiration you have for this woman may not be what you think it is.

Sometimes feeling a little pain makes you know you are still alive. For me, when my marriage had finally completely broken and I hurt so much it was almost like the concept of digging your nails into your palm when you are getting a shot...it is like you counteract the hurt in the first site by inflicting it onto another site...

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 17

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/20/2013 4:54:47 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

After my husband passed away, I played/fucked lots and lots of men just for the pain/pleasure. I didn't even know most of their names and had no desire to. Just do the deeds and send them home or I go home. It was my way of feeling something, anything to know I was still alive. It was also my way of dealing with my grief and punishing myself for my fuck-ups and his death.

After a few years though I finally woke up and realized I had to deal with my life in a healthy way and that definitely was not a healthy way.

So this admiration you have for this woman may not be what you think it is.

I was in that boat too .. been there .. done that.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 18

RE: She needed pain..... - 7/20/2013 6:53:49 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Op, it wasn't always sex. sometimes it was sex. Sometimes it was just play. Sometimes it was both and I rarely ever saw these men more than twice and like I said, I rarely ever even knew their name. I'm betting this girl was doing just as I had done...using it as a way to grieve, replacing her emotional pain with her physical pain. I hope she was able to see a therapist or gave herself real time to grieve in a healthier manner.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 19

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