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armyboy -> RE: Have you ever tried being a sub? (7/22/2013 4:16:35 AM)
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Male dom here, so I don't know how valid you'll see my post, but I kind of started out by bottoming and submitting. When I first came into the scene, I struggled to find my roll. I'd switch it from dom, oh not I have a submissive fantasy let's try sub, but I want to hurt people maybe I'm a dominant. Then, for the longest while I settled on switch.
I just had a good time playing with whoever, little power games with kinky friends, and just having a good time for a little under a year before I found my first serious kinky relationship. As it started out, it was just me going to be a bottom for a weekend to gain some experience in how some things feel. It turned into a relationship that lasted two years, all of which I was the submissive party. It was a long distance relationship (I was on the opposite side of the globe for more than half the relationship), so I didn't get much real-time experience, and because it wasn't often that we got to see each other there was always a power struggle when we reconnected (I don't give in easily).
But all that isn't the important thing. The important thing is I gained what I consider invaluable insight into the mind of a submissive and bottom. I learned how to walk people through handling pain from personal experience(that's the most concrete example I have). There are several other things I learned, though they're much harder to explain. I still consider her family, and it's some 6-7 years since we last saw each other and broke up.
Learning from the bottom isn't for everyone. I'm not going to hate on those who aren't willing to try it, or don't agree that it's a good way to go. I'm not going to say you have to try the bottom side to gain the insight and knowledge I received. But I feel it was immensely helpful in my growth, both as a person and as a dominant. Oh, and after several years, I decided I didn't have enough bottom/submissive in me to call myself a switch, and re-identified as dominant. That's where I stand today. As I see it right now, I may bottom occasionally for a specific purpose or reason (even if that's just a weekend to reacquaint myself with the submissive mindset), but it isn't going to happen regularly, and definitely not often enough for me to feel I should regard myself as a switch, or even less of a dominant.
Hope that helps you.
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