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RE: New Dom - 7/24/2013 4:56:07 PM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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Yer, even the most submissive sub will eventually break down if their needs and wants are not being met satisfactorily... I've done it...
Theres a point where taking charge and taking for granted can become muddied...
Like I've said before in not so many words... The more control you take away, the more you need to establish a sence of security in it's place, or insecurities become rampant, trust and desire break down... Submission comes from trust and desire.

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RE: New Dom - 7/24/2013 5:00:39 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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I agree and I'll also add that for me, some of the really little things were the hardest to let go of. Over time, he showed that was responsible and caring enough for me to let go.

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RE: New Dom - 7/24/2013 6:06:19 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Whatever Dude. I guess you don't understand what "submissive" means. Try looking it up in any dictionary.

BadOne

I neither know, nor care, what "submissive" means to you, "Dude." I have known a lot of submissives, and dominants, in the two and a half decades since I first joined the real time BDSM community. Just about every one of them defined "submissive" in different ways and very few of them would have ever agreed to your line on which I called bullshit.

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RE: New Dom - 7/24/2013 6:37:10 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir
While it pleases me to submit to my Master and make him happy, if it didn't please him to make ME happy as well, this relationship wouldn't work long-term. Harry's right. At some point, the sub has to have their needs and desires fulfilled as well in order to have a successful and HEALTHY relationship.

This is the truth. If I wasn't happy, I'd walk.

Kana whips out Occams Razor, applies it to the problem at hand, decides the best possible solution to this conundrum is finding a gal who finds happiness in service and meeting my needs.
Voila.
Instant answer that satisfies both and all, simultaneously even.

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RE: New Dom - 7/24/2013 9:54:39 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: HarryVanWinkle

quote:

Whatever Dude. I guess you don't understand what "submissive" means. Try looking it up in any dictionary.

BadOne

I neither know, nor care, what "submissive" means to you, "Dude." I have known a lot of submissives, and dominants, in the two and a half decades since I first joined the real time BDSM community. Just about every one of them defined "submissive" in different ways and very few of them would have ever agreed to your line on which I called bullshit.

OK I get it. You refuse to accept the dictionary definition of what submissive means. However based on your experience <which is meaningless to any except you> you point out that you are correct and the millions of ppl that consider any dictionary an "authority" is wrong???

Call bull shit all you like as it's falling on deaf ears Dude

Just saying. BadOne

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RE: New Dom - 7/25/2013 2:09:03 AM

ARIES83

Posts: 3648
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I agree and I'll also add that for me, some of the really little things were the hardest to let go of. Over time, he showed that was responsible and caring enough for me to let go.

I'm curious,
Can you give examples of some of the little things your referring to?

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Post #: 26

RE: New Dom - 7/25/2013 8:51:09 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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I'm very much a "if you want it done right, do it yourself" person.

It was little things like trusting him to put the mail out, put the garbage out. I didn't want to be a nag and ask, so I would do it myself, even though he said those things were under his duties.

Or it was things like changing my morning schedule to eat breakfast at home rather than eating it at the office. He was always out the door before I had to be up, but he felt that it was better for my psyche to not eat at my desk.

Just little things like that.

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Post #: 27