Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (Full Version)

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vamp33604 -> Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/23/2013 9:30:17 PM)

After being in a very unique relationship for over a decade, I am not sure that I would be willing to be in a conventional arrangement.
And being a parent you have to think about your child's welfare before your own lust.
You need to also remember that there are some very sick people out there.
You flirt, you salivate, you desire, you get wet, you get horny, but, you know that there are a lot of dangerous individuals online as well as in the real world.
You could go to a swinger club or party but, it isn't the same.
I am alright with exhibitionism at times but, sex is always better when you have had time to get to know what turn the other person on.
It can be amazing.
Instead of just sex.
Plain sex.
I want to have someone to share my bed again.
Celibacy is very sad.
It has been way to many years.
Just needed to vent.



DarkSteven -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/23/2013 10:16:55 PM)

Um, there should be a strong kink scene in DFW. Go to munches and kink parties, and meet people.

Good luck, and have fun.



vamp33604 -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/23/2013 10:26:16 PM)

How do learn were they will be.



DarkSteven -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/23/2013 10:33:26 PM)

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ShaharThorne -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/24/2013 12:39:35 AM)

It is hard to be a parent with a kinky side and have a teenage kid. While I am not pursuing my kinks, I am maintaining a strong relationship with my daughter though she is hundreds of miles away. He father knows that I am kinky and does not use it against me.

As for being a widow, I can't advise you on that. Handling grief and heartache is hard on anyone.

I agree with DS...go to the local munches as a night out to yourself. Don't appear to be clingy, just have confidence in yourself.



vamp33604 -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/24/2013 1:48:07 AM)

Thank you both



garyFLR -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/24/2013 5:28:29 AM)

Hello Vamp,

Although I don't have children, it's been a while since I've had a 'significant other' in my life, I do empathise with you. I know it sounds like a cliché, but someone turns up when you're least expecting it, & always at the right time.

I see you have been a member for some time, have you just decided to dip your toes in the forums. I've seen you in the games section. How can I start a word with two Ls [:D]?

DarkStevens advice is usually spot on & well worth taking, [:D] I wish you every success & happiness.

Best wishes, Gary.



Missokyst -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/24/2013 8:35:42 AM)

I did the celibacy route when my youngest son was born. I kept to it for 12 yrs. Somewhere around his 10th year I told him I might want to start dating again. As he got used to that idea and we found other things he could do to entertain himself we discussed it more. I had my first date one month after he turned 12. My kid was kind of sensitive so I felt I had to get him used to sharing mom slowly. But your kid is 13. She should know it is time for mom to have a life beyond her.
Try a munch, a party, a gym, heck.. even the bar. It is time to go out and meet people, both kinky or not.



DesFIP -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/24/2013 8:40:07 AM)

I stayed celibate for five years until I was ready to look.
Since I was passionately devoted to my kids, I only was interested in single fathers who were passionately devoted to theirs.

If they couldn't be bothered to watch or coach a basketball game, didn't know the child's best friend, didn't go to parent-teacher conferences, didn't pay child support - then I didn't talk to them again.

It's easy to find sex and a spanking. It isn't easy to find someone you can sincerely respect and like.



erieangel -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/27/2013 6:10:12 PM)

quote:

It's easy to find sex and a spanking. It isn't easy to find someone you can sincerely respect and like.


^^^This.



garyFLR -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/28/2013 8:52:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: erieangel

quote:

It's easy to find sex and a spanking. It isn't easy to find someone you can sincerely respect and like.


^^^This.


Not wishing to stereotype, but, perhaps quite a few male CM members should consider this, before demanding quick kink fixes within 24hrs of joining. Mind you, on the downside, it would lessen the 'whinge threads' that I always have a morbid curiosity in [:D].



vamp33604 -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/28/2013 9:45:33 AM)

Thank you all very much.
My daughter is very sensitive also.
I don't want her to feel like I am trying to replace her father.
Although, we had been split for over a year at the time of his death.
But, I am ready to feel the touch of a man.
Not just any man though.



myotherself -> RE: Being a widow with a 13 year old daughter. (7/28/2013 11:11:28 AM)

When I first met Master he was a widower with an 8 year old son. We dated for about a year without his son knowing about us. Then he started to drop my name into conversation, and over several months his son realised dad was dating. We finally met about 2 years into our relationship. That gave Master and me a chance to decide if we were long-term, and for both of us to get our heads around having his son as part of our future life together.

I've never had children, but I do work with them and I think kids of his son's age are about my favourite age-group. Master needed to know that I was the kind of person who would willingly take on co-parenting of his child, and do it in a positive way. I needed to make sure that I was up to the task. Once we realised this was possible, we started introducing his son into our 'together' time.

Now we're planning on moving in together, and his son (now 11) is very much part of the process of finding a new home. We're all very excited about being a family.

The point I wanted to make is that it takes time to help a child realise that it is part of a new, loving relationship. In our case it took a couple of years and lots of little steps to make it happen. Because we took it slowly, Master's son found it a lot easier to get used to the idea of a new parent figure. I've told him I could never replace his wonderful mother but I hope I can be someone he can come to for help, support and a hug if he needs it.



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