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MrRodgers -> RE: I just saw this in a profile's journal entry. (7/25/2013 12:33:45 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
THE DARK SIDE OF A WOMAN
A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding
the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on
sale in the second. In the third everything had just been reduced by
50 percent when her mobile phone rang.
It was a female doctor notifying her that her husband had just been
in a terrible car accident and was in critical condition in the ICU.
The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and
that she'd be there as soon as possible.
As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be
her best day ever in the boutiques. She decided to get in a couple
more shops before heading to the hospital. She ended up shopping the
rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a
beautiful chocolate cake slice, compliments of the last shop. She
was jubilant.
Then she remembered her husband.
Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital. She saw the woman doctor
in the corridor and asked about her husband's condition. The doctor
glared at her and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your shopping
trip, didn't you!? I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were
out for the past four hours enjoying yourself in town, your husband
has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit! It's just as well
you went ahead and finished, because it will more than likely be the
last shopping trip you ever take! For the rest of his life he will
require round-the-clock care. And he will now be your career!"
The woman, overcome with guilt, broke down and sobbed.
The woman doctor chuckled and said, "I'm just messing with you.
He's dead. Show me what you bought."
Sounds like she grew up and got married.
The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Betty, a 3-year-old girl, to hold the flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Betty did as she was asked. The mother, Heidi, pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The Paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Betty for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Betty quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place! Smack his ass again!!
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