AAkasha
Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie Dominant women are still women. They want to talk to you about what matters to them and they want you to be interested in THEM. Oral sex can be had through ANY vanilla partner. Its not hard but after a few times of ONLY this it gets boring. Has it occured to you that they may want to be asked how their day is going or they want someone who cares enough to notice they may not be happy? Maybe they are angry or sad and they want someone to vent with on occasion. Another thing, discussing your job or hobby can say a lot about you in a profile. Even the most entry level possition may benefit a dominant lady enough to spark her intrest. You need to bring MORE to the table then whether you are willing to give oral sex. There is 4 guys to every dominant lady and most are straight. Assume that these men are willing to give oral sex AND offer another skill or service. Truthfully I am ahead of you already and not even a man. I am self maintained, well rounded educationally, willing to give oral sex AND have professional training as a cosmetologist. (That means I can give a professional quality mani/pedi/ hair service and massage) Just because you decided you are submissive doesn't mean you don't have to listen and pay attention to ladies and their needs. It means you have to listen MORE and you also have to offer MORE because odds are that there are 4 other men that can take your spot and that doesn't even count women. Its a very competitive lifestyle This is a great post. It's a good reminder to everyone. I was having a discussion via email with someone that I had engaged in some hot and heavy "online play" (I know some people pooh-pooh that) that included him sharing some really heavy photos and live camming of some very nasty and degrading stuff that turned me on and we were moving pretty fast but I was just in one of those moods. He was having some ambivalence and so we decided to take a step back and go all vanilla and just have a few talks and really get back to vanilla and took kink back off the table for awhile. It was remarkable once again how refreshing it was for one, and two, how much it really brought the "animal" back out in my desires once kink was off the table. When I "forget" what it was like to have a man submit to me and he is relating to me once again just as a friend and even a peer (ie, if he's talking about things with me that he's more competent that me, swoon), I have to remember in my mind - this MAN submits to ME!....I really start to feel the lust to MAKE him submit. This, for me, is much more exciting than a submissive that is sort of in "ready mode 24/7" or "postured" 24/7. I think I am the type of femdom that needs to be in "friendzone" and laughing as equals just pal'ing around and then let my little "beast" kind of pop out and be unsuspecting, rather than have my sub friend be "in sub mode". A lot of subs like to be the pet in waiting though and enjoy that "mind space" of being there. This I am recognizing is a clear difference in desires that needs to be addressed up front. And obviously if there is nothing to goof around together about - no common hobbies - there's no where to develop chemistry. I think that's why the WOW guild I created worked so well and I made a few connections including one that lasts to this day. We were all just friends doing WOW, and the kink came on the side as fun flirtation. If someone could build an open gaming site - poker, scrabble, monopoly, catan, gin rummy, you name it - where you play and go into rooms and have audio, cams optional, but just chat while you play, I bet some connections could be made. Just like board game nights. People like to play games. Also, people could teach each other to play games. If anyone likes this idea and has knowledge of how to do it, please spearhead it. I would love it. I honestly believe if there's a platform for interaction where kink does not come first but it makes people engage, and there are rules in place, more connections would happen. Akasha
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