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really need advice - 7/26/2013 7:42:19 AM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

i really need all the masters advice here, i was recently uncollard from my master because he said i could give him total power and control, but i really feel it was because i had control over my bank account and he couldnt access it. i have bills to to pay as everyone else, when i would go pay my bills the money wouldnt be in my account to pay them. everytime i would ask about it he would say "you dont need to worry about it" When we first meet he said he wasnt looking for a "cash cow" but i feel thats what he wanted. am i wrong to be like this, after all i felt the trust that we had at first was broken when i was getting accused of thing i didnt have anything to do with(ex missing money) or is he in the right?
i really loved my master and wanted to trust him but feel i couldnt, thats why im asking this.

Post #: 1

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 7:59:02 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Do I understand this right? The guy was helping himself to money from your bank account, to the point that you couldn't afford to pay your bills, refusing to discuss this with you, and he ditched you when you stopped him taking the money?

You're right, you can't trust this man. He apparently doesn't care about your wellbeing at all.

Some people do hand over control of their finances to their dominant partner. But obviously only when the dominant has proved him/herself honourable, reliable and trustworthy enough to have their best interests at heart.

My advice would be cut this person out of your life completely. Change your passwords on everything. Speak to the bank and make sure none of your letters are going to his address. Get a credit check in case he is taking out credit in your name - contact the police if he is. Any cards missing should be canceled and re-issued.If he did this, who knows what else he did without telling you.

Surely you don't really think he could be in the right?

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 2

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 8:06:35 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

You know he is in the wrong and you are in the right. You know if he really cared about you, he wouldn't clean out your bank account so you couldn't pay your bills.

You already know this. You say you really love your master, why would you love someone who would treat you this way? Please spend some time thinking about that before pursuing another relationship.

And please, please take the time to get to know someone before you let them have access to your money. Go by what they do, not what they say.

_____________________________

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 3

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 8:13:59 AM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

thanks, i just wanted to double check on this

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 4

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 8:25:17 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

Being kinky doesn't mean you throw out all your life experience and common sense.

If we had said 'yes, it's ok for someone to steal all your money and leave you in danger of losing your home' would that have made you feel happy about the way you were treated?

Trust your instincts. If something makes you miserable or unsafe, get out.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 5

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 8:45:01 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

OP, a dominant sets you up for success. They don't, if they really care about you, do things to screw up your well-being on whatever level that well-being happens to involve. Fucking around with your ability to take care of financial responsibilities is fucking around with your well-being.

Love is great, but it just isn't worth that. He did the best thing by uncollaring you. Run like you were being shot at if your trust in him is gone. Id get the hell out of there if it were me

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 7/26/2013 9:07:07 AM >

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 6

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 11:09:11 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

You're asking us if theft is okay if the victim sets himself up for it?!?!?!

You have issues.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 7

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 11:20:04 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Great advice was given to you. I hope you listen to it.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 8

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 11:23:05 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

OP, I'm not going to take a stab at what the real reason for the release was. I've seen multiple threads from you regarding the problems in the dynamic, so I'm not going to guess which one that is the problem.

However, please take the advice that I am going to give you. If for any reason a person has your bank account info, take yourself into your bank and completely change the information you have on record. This includes creating a new email account for your online banking purposes. It's not enough to change your bank account number and password. Do the whole bit, including telling the bank representative that yes, another person did have the information, but they are not authorized to be utilizing the account.

Not every person post break-up is going to do the honorable thing after a dynamic ends when it comes to financial information. Just do the safe thing and change the information.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 9

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 12:00:03 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

OP, I'm not going to take a stab at what the real reason for the release was. I've seen multiple threads from you regarding the problems in the dynamic, so I'm not going to guess which one that is the problem.

However, please take the advice that I am going to give you. If for any reason a person has your bank account info, take yourself into your bank and completely change the information you have on record. This includes creating a new email account for your online banking purposes. It's not enough to change your bank account number and password. Do the whole bit, including telling the bank representative that yes, another person did have the information, but they are not authorized to be utilizing the account.

Not every person post break-up is going to do the honorable thing after a dynamic ends when it comes to financial information. Just do the safe thing and change the information.

While LP advice is right on. FYI. Suffice to say no one should do online banking that involves using your email address! I know I know it's falling on deaf ears consider this. If hackers and get past a banks security system and grab millions of CC #. Trust me it's child's play for them to grab millions of email addresses and passwords.

A far SAFER way to do banking is phone banking.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 2:29:01 PM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

thanks everyone, didnt think i was in the wrong on this

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 11

RE: really need advice - 7/26/2013 2:33:58 PM

notorious72

Posts: 21
Joined: 6/10/2013
Status: offline

sir didnt know about this till the bank sent a message to me

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 12

RE: really need advice - 7/28/2013 5:06:56 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

If you are still calling him, "Sir", then honey you are about to get taken to the cleaners.

NO man pulling that nonsense DESERVES to be called Sir.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 13

RE: really need advice - 7/28/2013 7:13:01 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: notorious72

i really need all the masters advice here, i was recently uncollard from my master because he said i could give him total power and control, but i really feel it was because i had control over my bank account and he couldnt access it. i have bills to to pay as everyone else, when i would go pay my bills the money wouldnt be in my account to pay them. everytime i would ask about it he would say "you dont need to worry about it" When we first meet he said he wasnt looking for a "cash cow" but i feel thats what he wanted. am i wrong to be like this, after all i felt the trust that we had at first was broken when i was getting accused of thing i didnt have anything to do with(ex missing money) or is he in the right?
i really loved my master and wanted to trust him but feel i couldnt, thats why im asking this.

If he's not paying the bills, he's not in financial control. He's just stealing your money.

Run. And get him off that account, stat.

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 14

RE: really need advice - 7/28/2013 12:19:26 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

From other things you have written, I think you should stop seeking partners until you have established strong boundaries for yourself.

You seem to have a tendency towards placing yourself in situations/relationships in which you are easily exploitable.

The first part of that is picking better partners and choosing people who truly have your best interests at heart and someone who is actually worthy of your trust.
But the time for you to be protective is before and while you are in the process of getting to know someone.

And if someone wants your financial information but has no intention on using it for your expenses... does common sense tell you that is a solid decision?

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 15

RE: really need advice - 7/28/2013 11:00:54 PM

FrankAr

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: notorious72

i really need all the masters advice here, i was recently uncollard from my master because he said i could give him total power and control, but i really feel it was because i had control over my bank account and he couldnt access it. i have bills to to pay as everyone else, when i would go pay my bills the money wouldnt be in my account to pay them. everytime i would ask about it he would say "you dont need to worry about it" When we first meet he said he wasnt looking for a "cash cow" but i feel thats what he wanted. am i wrong to be like this, after all i felt the trust that we had at first was broken when i was getting accused of thing i didnt have anything to do with(ex missing money) or is he in the right?
i really loved my master and wanted to trust him but feel i couldnt, thats why im asking this.

This really irks me because you do get some barstards that say no to using a female as a cash cow or even in trying to have threesomes and more. I mean if you can't handle the female on your own fucken money, then don't get a female, simple. You do all the expenses on your wage, all the holidays...and then leave hers aside for rainy days, or retirement, simple. If you don't fucken understand that with all the low life fucken creeps out there....and you know who you are lazy arseholes......grins and chuckles....then do no take the first step in communicating with females to have as slaves or kajira or submissives.

The bottom line is that he was just an over controlling freak, and when it hit reality he could not adjust. Your bills should have been taken care of by him, simple, unless you are not living together. If you were not living together then why oh why would you give him your bank details in the first place....holy shit. Since you have broken up I would first go and open another account in a different bank, just in case, and close the other, simple.

Frank.

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to notorious72)

Post #: 16

RE: really need advice - 7/29/2013 1:01:17 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline

The OP is a man.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to FrankAr)

Post #: 17

RE: really need advice - 7/29/2013 3:21:45 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

I personally would like to hang the man up by his gonads and spin him around like a top, until they popped off like a cork. But anyway, he is so wrong there aint no making it right.

Get away from him, he is no good. And do as the others say, change your passwords. Don't let someone take advantage of you like that. I am very passionate about this type of situation, I also ALMOST was put in a situation like that. A valuable Master will value YOU, not put you in such a position.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 18

RE: really need advice - 7/29/2013 6:00:22 AM

FrankAr

Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

The OP is a man.

That fucks me up big time...but hey put the female words into them....

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)

Post #: 19

RE: really need advice - 7/29/2013 6:08:36 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

From other things you have written, I think you should stop seeking partners until you have established strong boundaries for yourself.

You seem to have a tendency towards placing yourself in situations/relationships in which you are easily exploitable.

The first part of that is picking better partners and choosing people who truly have your best interests at heart and someone who is actually worthy of your trust.
But the time for you to be protective is before and while you are in the process of getting to know someone.

And if someone wants your financial information but has no intention on using it for your expenses... does common sense tell you that is a solid decision?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 20

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