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chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/26/2013 9:16:23 AM   
donforu


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/9/2012
Status: offline 		Hey all

i have being chatting with a Domme over the last 5 or 6 weeks, I expressed my interest in chastity and this lovely Domme suggested that I could try it by myself, I replied that I don't have the will power to do it alone, so I was ordered not to masturbate till told otherwise, this is all just a bit of fun but I am now at day 6 and I am cracking up haha, at this stage I'm doing it to prove a point to myself. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on how I can keep going?

Kind regards don
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/26/2013 10:12:38 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline 		Why do you want to stop yourself from masturbating?

Figure that out, and you have a shot, by focussing on the reasons why you consider masturbation to not be good for you.

If you're just doing it because you think it's hot to not be allowed, you'll only be able to maintain for as long as 'not being allowed' is more erotically stimulating than the physical act of masturbation is itself.



_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to donforu)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/26/2013 10:31:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm really hoping that a wonderful poster by the name of Rochsub is going to be along very shortly.

Seriously, OP? You can't hack not rubbing one out for a week? Personally, as a Dominant woman, I'd tell you that I wouldn't want to take you on. That's a sign that you are more submissive to your penis than you could ever be to Me. If you are already so obsessed because you've lacked an orgasm for a whole SIX DAYS, I'd have problems with your priority structure.


_____________________________

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(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/26/2013 10:55:09 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		If my Master told me that there was to be no masturbation, then that would be something I'd have to follow. That's it.

But then again, we have a long-term relationship that has evolved into M/s, and for us that kind of order wouldn't be 'play', it would be a part of our dynamic. He has done this in the past and it became just another way to serve him even when we weren't physically together. It wasn't really about the act either, it was a way of him exerting his control over me despite the enforced distance. He could have said 'no coffee' or something of that ilk, but he chose masturbation.

If you're only doing it to see what it feels like, then maybe you find it isn't for you. So find a Domme for whom chastity isn't a kink.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to donforu)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/26/2013 11:08:36 AM   
donforu


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/9/2012
Status: offline 		Hi thanks for your reply,

I get what your saying about it only being 6 days normally that wouldn't be a problem Its just that I'm more aroused knowing I not allowed, didn't mean to come across as a depraved serial masturbater, just posted that topic to get chatting with some subs that have experience with chastity as its something I would like to experience long term at some point in my life and I not only submissive to my own cock, I have a genuine desire to serve, and I take direction well

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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/26/2013 2:10:24 PM   
Kaninchen


Posts: 14
Joined: 7/18/2013
Status: offline 		I think the problem is you are focusing on the act too much. You need to focus your motivation from "I'm not allowed to" towards "I don't want to because I want to please my dominant."

It's all well and good being obedient. Hell, Sometimes it's more fun for the dominant if the act of obedience is particularly difficult to maintain. I simply find it easier to ask myself why am I being obedient. If the answer is "To avoid punishment" then you need to talk to your dominant.

Just my method any how.

(in reply to donforu)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/26/2013 3:16:58 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm really hoping that a wonderful poster by the name of Rochsub is going to be along very shortly.




Did somebody rub my genie bottle?

Donforu, I'm glad you asked about forced chastity, because it's one of my favorite kinks.

But there are lots of different types and reasons for enjoying forced chastity, and you have to figure out what aspect of forced chastity gets you off.

There are some males who actually desire permanent chastity (I kid you not). For them, the idea of being locked up permanently is a dream come true. They typically have feelings of inadequacy, and they like being told how "useless" their cock is. They also tend to like incorporating cuckolding into their chastity dynamic. That doesn't sound like you, but I thought I'd mention this type.

Some enjoy the bondage aspect of forced chastity. The weight and feel of the chastity device is pure heaven for them. And for them, the bigger and clunkier the device, the better. For example, a steel device, or a full-blown chastity belt, would be preferable to a small plastic device.

Some like the tease and denial aspect. It can be really enjoyable to have a Domme bring you to the brink of orgasm, only to deny you that final release. And when she does it repeatedly, it can make for play that is both excruciating and enjoyable all at the same time.

Others like the power exchange aspect of forced chastity. I happen to fall into this category. That's why I prefer to do forced chastity without a chastity device. As you're discovering, it can be really difficult to go for long periods of time without masturbating when there is nothing physically stopping you from doing so. That's why some people need a device to be successful at chastity. But to me, the challenge of placing my Domme's command to "not cum" ahead of my own desire for orgasm is a delicious dilemma. It really challenges you to decide what's most important to you. Is obeying her a stronger motivation that your own desire to cum? It's easy to say that it is, but when you're really faced with that challenge, you may find yourself jerking off, despite her command. While that is a failure, it helps you to understand just how submitted and obedient you really are.

And sometimes, the very act of failure (or near failure) can be enjoyable. Some Dommes LOVE knowing that you're suffering, and hearing you BEG them to allow you to cum. To them, forced chastity is a part of S&M play. The begging and suffering is what they enjoy, not your lack of orgasm. The Domme is exercising her sadistic urges. And some may even enjoy punishing you if/when you fail. So the actual act of failure can be a part of your play (if you enjoy "funishment").

This is not a complete list of the types of chastity play. Some include humiliation into their chastity play. Still others may include forced feminization into their chastity play. And of course, CBT can be added onto chastity play. So like I said, there are lots of different variations on the theme.

This can be a fun and enjoyable kink. But you have to understand what you like about it. That will help you to find the type of chastity play that will be most enjoyable to both you and your partner.

As far as your original question about how to stop yourself from masturbating, well, I'm afraid I can't help you there.
I'll be honest with you. Six days is nothing to brag about. If you can't go a few days without masturbating, you may have an addiction to masturbation. Frankly, I've heard lots of subs say that they can't go more than a few hours without masturbating. Yikes! I've been kept in forced chastity (with a device) for as much as 127 days. There are many who have gone much longer than that. So I don't have much sympathy for you after only 6 days.

The one thing that i can tell you is that just like any other endeavor, you get better with practice. So right now 6 days may be all you can do. But next time, you may be able to go 10 days. Then 14. And before you know it, you'll be able to go a full month with no problem. They key is to be patient, and work your way up slowly. Don't try to do a 2 month stint in chastity on your first attempt. You're sure to fail. But if you build up slowly, the sky is the limit.

And if you still fail, despite your greatest efforts to remain chaste, then buy yourself a chastity device (I recommend the CB6000) and lock yourself up, then find yourself a key holder. There are plenty of women (some on this board) who will gladly hold the key to your chastity device.

I hope that helps. Good luck.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 7/26/2013 3:28:52 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/26/2013 11:46:12 PM   
MarineKitten


Posts: 68
Joined: 12/21/2012
Status: offline 		It's called will power, try exercising some.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/27/2013 1:15:00 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Try tying a pink ribbon around your cock, or a "hair scrunchie" or wearing panties. You will think this is just going to make you MORE crazy and horny. Yes, it will. For some time. But what it will do is reinforce a mindset that your cock does not belong to you any longer.

It belongs to your Mistress.

Once you change your mindset, your desires for "self pleasure" will start to change. That should be your goal. When you get hard, and then your attention focuses on your erection, it should then be on your erect cock and the fact that it is emasculated -- tied up in pink, in a feminine hair product, or in womens' panties. It is not yours'. It's HERS. It is not for your pleasure. It is for HER pleasure. Just look at it, and think about that. If the erection does not go away, ice it.

Now, it's really up to her to work on changing your brain at this point. I have ways I deal with my man at this point and it depends on his brain and how he is wired. I might torture him, tease him, make him edge, humiliate him, give him affection and sympathy, it just depends. And this post is just ONE suggestion. I have found that with a lot of men, taking OWNERSHIP of their cock is a great way to make them stop missing masturbation and start thinking about my pleasure. It's my cock, not theirs.

And also when they get super horny they are to email me or call me...and I can go, "Awww! Poor baby." They can vent. And I can get off on their suffering! Part of the joy of "key holding"!

Akasha

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(in reply to donforu)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/28/2013 4:22:43 AM   
donforu


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/9/2012
Status: offline 		Thanks so much for you reply Rochsub2009

I think I fall into the category of chastity subs that get the kicks from the power exchange also, as well as the tease and denial aspect, my own personal goal is 10 days, some hard to put down, others a bit easier, but the domme in charge expects to deny me for a another week or two, the alternative is masturbating with nettles, I've even looked around the garden for some lol. Your advice is appreciated, you have given me a lot to consider and that alone has given me a bit more drive to keep it up(no pun intended:-)) thanks a mil rochsub


Kind regards don

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/28/2013 4:38:54 AM   
donforu


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/9/2012
Status: offline 		Hi AAkasha thanks for the sound advice,

I'm not really into wearing panties but I gave the scrunchie a go and it did work especially when I woke up this morning it was just a reminder to keep away when I was half in and out of sleep

Your stories blog looks amazing I look forward to reading some more just to torment myself :-)

thanks again don

(in reply to AAkasha)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/28/2013 6:13:59 AM   
donforu


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/9/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MarineKitten

It's called will power, try exercising some.


Why didn't I think of that!! Your so helpful!

(in reply to MarineKitten)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/28/2013 7:32:48 AM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline 		6 days is great, WELL DONE!

When I first started being denied, I could barely go 24 hours - I was in such a fevered, frustrated, impossible, agonisingly excited state. I could barely sleep and any sleep I did get was filled with dreams about being fucked, being teased, orgasming. Considering I had been a submissive for 10 years and thought I knew myself pretty well, it was amazing that something could have such a strong and unexpected effect on me. I really have very little time or patience for anyone who doesn't understand how difficult denial can be in the beginning - or assume that because you find it difficult, you are unsuited for denial, the complete opposite is true. If you didn't care, it wouldn't be such a delicious, inescapable kind of control, you simply wouldn't care and it wouldn't have any effect. People who can easily go 6 days without masturbating usually have very low sex drives and so wouldn't understand what it is like for a highly sexed person to go without. These people are usually unsuitable for denial because they don't really care if they orgasm, and if they go without then their sex drive switches off altogether - not much fun to deny someone who doesn't care!

There are a few things that might help you. Firstly, of course, it will get easier the more you do it. I could barely last 24 hours my first time, I barely made it 2 days my second time, building up to 4 days was so hard. My last period of denial was 10 months, and this time I am told that it will be permanent denial. Finding it difficult at first is not a bad thing, it may mean you are perfectly suited to ongoing denial simply because you find the arousal so intense. Everyone told me that my sex drive would switch off after a week, 2 weeks, a month, 3 months, 6 months... it never does. I'm very thankful I found denial so difficult at first, it means I can be denied indefinitely without losing the urge.

Secondly, your frustration could lead to an interesting journey for you. Right now you may crave an orgasm, but if you did give in, whilst you would enjoy it temporarily, afterwards you would reflect on this intense experience of denial and perhaps even miss it a little bit. You might want to do it again. This is what happened to me - I started off hating the denial and just wanting to orgasm, but when I did orgasm, I found myself craving the constriction and intense repression of denial - it's so 24/7. You can't be in pain or pleasure all the time, but denial really is ongoing - it's every minute of the day, every day of the week. For control junkies, it can be an amazing experience. Once again - if you didn't care, this wouldn't be enjoyable for you. It's precisely because you find it difficult that it becomes such a good training and submission tool.

Good luck with your denial, and enjoy it! Every time you feel horny, just remember that you are being dominated, and enjoy knowing that :-)

(in reply to donforu)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/28/2013 8:01:34 AM   
donforu


Posts: 19
Joined: 12/9/2012
Status: offline 		Hey orgasmdenial112

thank you so much for the encouragement, I taught I was doing well at 6 days(8 days now :-))for a beginner anyway. Its good to hear that it is normal for me to be feeling like this, I would not listen to people telling that its not for me, as its a big aspect of control in my life and as much as I'm frustrated I am still loving it, especially when I asked for permission last night and I was denied, well sort of!, the alternative was something I would only do if things become desperate haha. Again its great to hear from another subbies with experience in this, it certainly give me more resolve. Before I get lots of posts saying a dommes commands should be enough, it is! But hearing from like minded subs just makes it a little easier

kind regard don

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/28/2013 11:41:11 PM   
Wren1220


Posts: 7
Joined: 2/4/2013
Status: offline 		For me the waiting of the orgasm makes the orgasm I finally do have all the more intense when I am finally allowed the have the release. So worth the wait even when it can get very rough for me. Also I have learned that by controlling myself Master and I can climax at the same time making the whole experience even better for both of us.

(in reply to donforu)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/30/2013 9:17:44 AM   
Treasure29


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/2/2012
Status: offline 		Just to tell you that masterbating youself doesn't mean you have to enter your own vagina or break your hymen. Its a very natural thing to do. You just might want to watch something on t.v. like a bita pornto help you perform. Now what you do is just putyour hand either on your pubicbone and on either your rightor left hand side and wipe your hand their forward and back a number of times.
While your doing this it stimulates your g spot and when you've reached it you'll know as your legs will just become at first stiff and then go all jelly like afterwards.Trust methat having sex/making love iscompletly different. Have fun!

(in reply to Wren1220)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/30/2013 11:02:58 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Treasure29

Just to tell you that masterbating youself doesn't mean you have to enter your own vagina or break your hymen. Its a very natural thing to do. You just might want to watch something on t.v. like a bita pornto help you perform. Now what you do is just putyour hand either on your pubicbone and on either your rightor left hand side and wipe your hand their forward and back a number of times.
While your doing this it stimulates your g spot and when you've reached it you'll know as your legs will just become at first stiff and then go all jelly like afterwards.Trust methat having sex/making love iscompletly different. Have fun!


Aside from the fact that this thread is primarily about male chastity... I have to ask... you do realize that it's VERY freaking unlikely that there will be more than a handful of women on this entire site with an intact hymen, right?

And why on Earth would anybody, but an extremist Muslim woman, care about breaking her hymen during masturbation?

The day and age where people define 'virginity' by 'hymen intactness' have long come and gone.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to Treasure29)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/30/2013 1:36:57 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Roch, that perfectly said. I have done key holding but there are some subs who I enjoy "leaving their submission to them". Meaning, if they disobey or become dishonest about masturbating, then they know where their submission level is. I'm not sure if I'm explaining it right. But if they are told not to do something, and do it anyway, how submissive are they really? They know the real answer (in case they lie and say they haven't) about it.

_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/31/2013 1:22:46 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm really hoping that a wonderful poster by the name of Rochsub is going to be along very shortly.

Seriously, OP? You can't hack not rubbing one out for a week? Personally, as a Dominant woman, I'd tell you that I wouldn't want to take you on. That's a sign that you are more submissive to your penis than you could ever be to Me. If you are already so obsessed because you've lacked an orgasm for a whole SIX DAYS, I'd have problems with your priority structure.


Six days to you, a lifetime to a man. :-)
Fuck, six hours no sex and I'm climbing walls.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: chastity play, how can i stop myself without a device - 7/31/2013 5:36:38 PM   
sweetchastity1


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/23/2013
Status: offline 		As for me, I am really turned on to orgasm tease and denial and being kept in chastity. On my own, I cannot stop masturbating so I need a strict dominant woman to take charge over me and keep me locked in a chastity device full time. I yearn for that sweet surrender to her, to please and pleasure her. By being kept locked in a chastity device, she would receive much pleasure by knowing she has me where she wants me - and where I need to be. If somebody can simply keep their hands off their genitals using self control, that is great. As for me, however, I need that Guiding Hand to rule over me.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 20
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