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Daddy Dom or Sugar Daddy? - 7/28/2013 12:45:05 PM   
Fightdirecto


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Several years ago I lost my girl to cancer. We had, what was for us, the almost perfect relationship (it had been even better when we were 2 thirds of a MFF triad but that had to end when the other girl had to relocate 3,000 miles away due to a job transfer). We both worked at our respective jobs and careers (she was Executive Vice President of a marketing/public relations firm, I am an actor, stage director and jazz/blues musician). In vanilla public situations, we were a typical husband & wife (yes, we were married). At home, she was my little girl and I was her Daddy.

I confess to a painful mourning period where I wasn’t seriously looking for someone new, or rather I wasn’t looking for anything serious. But I came to realize that I’m the type of person who needs someone (singular or in a poly family) in my life to be completely happy and fulfilled.

So I began seriously looking again. However, I have noticing a phenomena I might have just missed before: women who identify themselves as submissive or slaves who say on-line that they are looking for a Daddy Dom but once you start talking, it is clear that what they are really seeking is a Sugar Daddy who is also a Dominant.

One of the definitions of a Sugar Daddy on Urban Dictionary is:

quote:

A man who financially supports a younger woman in exchange for sex and companionship....as in "I dropped out of high school, so how am I supposed to earn a living to support me and my three kids?...I know! I'll get myself a sugar daddy."


Was I just blind to this before because I was in a happy, loving relationship and focused on it? How many subs/slaves who say they are looking for a Daddy Dom are really looking for someone to support them financially and take care of them 24/7, allowing them to stay at home and not work in exchange for sex and light housekeeping? Is this just one more side-effect of our lousy economy?


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RE: Daddy Dom or Sugar Daddy? - 7/28/2013 1:39:04 PM   
TNDommeK


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I think you're confusing daddy dom and sugar daddy.
My hubby is a daddy dom to the girls. Do they work, sure. Do they keep up the house? Yea, we all do. I think it's engrained in women to do that. But a sugar daddy? No he's not a sugar daddy.

However I will agree with you on the economy part. Sure, I think it's easier or chicks to flat back their way to money instead of working.

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RE: Daddy Dom or Sugar Daddy? - 7/28/2013 2:19:05 PM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fightdirecto


So I began seriously looking again. However, I have noticing a phenomena I might have just missed before: women who identify themselves as submissive or slaves who say on-line that they are looking for a Daddy Dom but once you start talking, it is clear that what they are really seeking is a Sugar Daddy who is also a Dominant.



They've always been around and we call them Cinderella Subs. Basically, they claim submission to have a man fix all of their problems and remove all responsibility from them. (One of our friends also calls them Pillow Princesses)

I wouldn't say that it's all women looking for a DaddyDom type, or that it's a description of the DaddyDom type.


< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/28/2013 2:21:10 PM >


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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Daddy Dom or Sugar Daddy? - 7/28/2013 2:19:58 PM   
NuevaVida


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Fightdirecto


Was I just blind to this before because I was in a happy, loving relationship and focused on it? How many subs/slaves who say they are looking for a Daddy Dom are really looking for someone to support them financially and take care of them 24/7, allowing them to stay at home and not work in exchange for sex and light housekeeping? Is this just one more side-effect of our lousy economy?


Sugar Daddies are not a new phenomena. I don't think it has anything to do with the economy. However, I always viewed "Sugar Daddy" as more than that....ages ago I used to joke about getting myself a Sugar Daddy to support me, take me on trips and buy me nice things (jewelry, clothes, etc.) and I'd do anything he wanted. It was a joke, of course...

But I see Sugar Daddy & Daddy Dom as two different things, although I suppose they could intertwine, if the man so chose.

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RE: Daddy Dom or Sugar Daddy? - 7/28/2013 2:27:03 PM   
MissToYouRedux


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

... Do they keep up the house? Yea, we all do. I think it's engrained in women to do that...



Sorry, K, but not in all of us.

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RE: Daddy Dom or Sugar Daddy? - 7/28/2013 6:48:50 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


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People who are actually primarily looking for a cash cow (or would that be a cash bull? Certainly some kind of bull) are especially prevalent in the so called "online" community.

Did you meet your wife online? I suspect that the "online" community probably didn't exist then. What also may not have existed then was the real time BDSM community. Twenty-five years ago, when I first got involved with the BDSM community, it was spotty and scattered to the four winds. In many cities and large towns, it didn't even exist yet.

Now, there's a real-time BDSM community in just about every city and medium to large town in the USA. I recommend you locate your local community, start going to events and meet people face to face. You're a lot less likely to meet a money grubber there and a lot more likely to meet kinky people than you are in the vanilla community.

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RE: Daddy Dom or Sugar Daddy? - 7/28/2013 8:04:36 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


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Oh...I hate to mention this because it riles everyone up..."50 Shades" backlash. Many women who never considered advertising for a "sugar daddy" suddenly read a book where the guy was willing to shower the woman with gifts and attention if she became his "sub". Unfortunately, it was about as close to reality as "Cinderella" would be to real world courtship & marriage. (& yeah...I did like the book but I love Harlequin Romance novels too!!)

The other thing I think you may be seeing is just a societal switch to condoning this type of behavior. When I was 20, saying I wanted to be supported and live off of a man in exchange for sex was tantamount to saying "I wish to be a prostitute". People would be horrified, they would have judged...condemned...now, it seems that a woman (& understand I am talking vanilla, kink...) who decides to advertise and/or have a man pay her expenses, put her through college..is considered smart...she is "using them before they use her" or she is smart because, hey if you are going to have sex and give blow jobs anyway..you might as well make it profitable..it is considered a wise "business decision"

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RE: Daddy Dom or Sugar Daddy? - 7/29/2013 9:40:10 AM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
When I was 20, saying I wanted to be supported and live off of a man in exchange for sex was tantamount to saying "I wish to be a prostitute".
Or a trophy wife/GF....


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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