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HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/29/2013 5:12:54 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline 		Do NOT spray that natural based Mentholatum shit your doctor gave you on your right leg because it's sore when there's a left facing wind....and your balls are exposed.

Second corollary: Do NOT use the alcohol wipes you used to clean your glasses to get said Mentholatum shit your doctor gave you, off of your balls.

I'm somewhat/recently knowledgeable on this subject.
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/29/2013 5:34:52 PM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		Would you mind repeating this procedure and have it recorded so there is a Video presentation to go with the statement? The audio would help as well.

_____________________________

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You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/29/2013 7:12:56 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		I agree.

Just to make sure there are absolutely no misunderstandings on the directions, I believe an instructional video is a must.

(in reply to jlf1961)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/29/2013 11:08:37 PM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline 		What I'd give to have been there to see that. Bet you were doing more than a hop, skip and a jump!

(in reply to theshytype)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/30/2013 5:31:45 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Could have been worse. You could have gotten VEET on the parts like this guy.

(stolen off the interwebz, beverage alerts apply)

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering "ooooohhh that feels good" Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to Duskypearls)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/30/2013 5:45:01 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		When Lizard wanted to start shaving her legs (she has the fine downy hair, got it from her dad), I got her the first VEET product out...the one with the cream and fake razor.

These days, she uses the Venus with Olay razors. Still the fine downy hair...

ETA: typo...

< Message edited by ShaharThorne -- 7/30/2013 5:47:36 AM >

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Goddess of Yarn

You are making two and a half feet of irresistible, tubular sex! -Lola, Kinky Boots

Founder: Bitch with Tits

Whip me, beat me, make me feel cheap and have great sex

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/30/2013 6:14:04 AM   
imtempting


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		I've never used Veet but one day I bought the el=cheapo razors, worse decision of my life. Threw a pack of 10 away after using one. The good razors which are meant to be one use normally last about 10 shaves each without cutting.

(in reply to ShaharThorne)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/30/2013 6:29:50 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Screeching with laughter....
Hill, ive read that so many times, it still makes me laugh....heres one from tvs "mrs browns boys"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxjy5Q1DWb4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/30/2013 7:10:31 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		I learned a long time ago not to use Icy-Hot without wearing latex gloves. That stuff has staying power, and Mr. Happy...wasn't.

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Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to Lucylastic)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/30/2013 7:16:48 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Both my pet and myself have had issues with veet, and wax that neither of us will use either on tender bits EVah again.
Icy hot, tigerbalm, eucalyptus, menthol, aftershave, bengay, peppers, cloves, are mild compared to the results of veet, and nair.. but of course with all the variation of sensivity, strengths etc...ymmv, im just going on our trials n errors

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/30/2013 8:30:24 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

I learned a long time ago not to use Icy-Hot without wearing latex gloves. That stuff has staying power, and Mr. Happy...wasn't.

Back when I was a TOU violation, one of my friends on the wrestling team used Kramergesic and then went to the bathroom. His nickname after that was "Hot Rod".

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/30/2013 1:00:06 PM   
MercTech


Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Now you have reminded me of a submissive lady, years back, that convinced me to try using Ben Gay for a sexual lubricant.

BTW, Ben Gay, just like petroleum jelly, will dissolve a condom.

The rash was not worth it. Sorry, but camphor and genitals should not be mixed. Cinnamon oil diluted with ultrasound gel and glycerol is another matter though.. tasty, warming, etc.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 7/31/2013 9:24:14 PM   
VideoAdminAlpha


Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

_____________________________


You can't please all the people all of the time.Unfortunately there are times you cannot please any of them :( You can only do your best, and hope they realize that.

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 8/1/2013 5:22:36 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminAlpha




(I am not feeling the love).

(in reply to VideoAdminAlpha)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 8/1/2013 6:25:05 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The Man learned that one. After a long day doing a roof, his thighs were aching. Out came the bengay. 20 minutes later he was in the shower, cold shower, yelling like a banshee.

Being a smart sub, I left the room to laugh.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LookieNoNookie)
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RE: HUUUUUGE lesson learned....!!!!! - 8/1/2013 8:01:26 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		You're killing me chief... that is funny.

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-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

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