FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (Full Version)

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GhostWhoWalks -> FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 6:22:30 PM)

1. POOR-ME SUB:

This "sub" always has something going wrong in her life. Of course,
it is never her fault.. she is always being played upon and
victimized by others. If only she found the *perfect* dom, her life
would be problem-free and forever-blissful. Favorite IM to and: "Will
you be my dom, sir? I am just a helpless little subbie." Favorite IM
to receive: "Just do what I say, slave!"

2. JUST-DO-ME SUB:

This "sub" just wants to be beaten. It doesn't really matter by who,
or what..as long as he (I use "he" here because these are typically
male) can feel the lash. Frequently misbehaving on purpose, this sub
can drive a dom *crazy*. Favorite IM to send: "I have been naughty
and need to be punished. Spank me now, Mistress!" Favorite IM to
receive: "You are a bad sub and need to be punished!
Bendover!"

3. BARBIE-SUB:

This "sub" just likes the way she looks in leather fashions. She is
afraid of the whip, and has never seen a clamp in her life. Her
favorite store is "Dream Dresser", and her whole paycheck is spent
there each week. Favorite IM to send: "Would you like to know what I am
wearing, sir?" Favorite IM to receive: "What are you wearing?"

4. HE-HURT-ME SUB:

This "sub", without any negotiations, talk of limits or safewords,
rushes out to a country cabin to to play with a dom she met 2 days
ago online. After letting him tie her up and whip her, she decides he
is a menace to society, and can't wait to tell all her "sub" friends
he is a "BAD dom". Favorite IM to send: "Subsis, I need to pass on a
warning to you!" Favorite IM to receive: "My poor subsis, you have
got to warn everyone about this creep!"

5. I-JUST-NEED- A-MAN SUB:

This "sub", after exhausting all her singles bar and healthclub meting
places, decides that the D/s world would be a good place to meet a
*man*. she really has no interest in D/s, she just needs someone to
spend the rest of her life with. She is a close relative of POOR-ME
SUB. Amazingly, when she "gets her dom", she suddenly looses interest in any
type of sex. Favorite IM to send: "Sir, will you take care of me forever?"
Favorite IM to receive: "I have always dreamed of having a large family."

6. NO-ONE-CAN-TOP- ME SUB:

This "sub" longs to submit, yet claims no dom is strong enough to top
her. Some say she is really just a domme in disguise. Favorite IM to
send: "Think you are strong enough to put me in my place, jerk?"
Favorite IM to receive: "No, Mistress, I am really just a weak and
helpless slave. ::falling to the floor and kissing your boots::

7. SUBMISSION IS THE GREATEST GIFT Submissive:

This submissive has stars in her eyes and naivety in her heart. She
swoons at the mere thought of a dom, any dom, asking her to pass the salt.
She writes her dom's name in the corner of her notebook with little hearts
and flowers around it. She declares that there is no
better way to love than through submission, and that d/s is
a "better" and "higher" manner of loving than anything a silly old
vanilla person might do. She lives on an emotional roller-coaster,
sentimental enough to cry when seeing a long-distance phone company
commercial. Favorite IM to send: "You are all of life to me, there is
nothing about life worthwhile without you." Favorite IM to
receive: "I am everything you'll ever want or need, and I'll protect
you from everything."




MissToYouRedux -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 6:33:50 PM)

You may still have time to add a question. [;)]



ResidentSadist -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 6:41:33 PM)

I'll take two of number 4 and one of number 6 with side of fries and some lube.

In your list of stereotypes, why don't you think the 'just do me sub' is submissive? That doesn't make her non-submissive, it makes her a slutty submissive. Nothing wrong with slutty sub that knows her needs is there?



DesFIP -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 6:44:46 PM)

None of that means they aren't submissive.

Simply that they aren't compatible with you.

You seem to believe that a 'true' sub will suffer through things she hates and cares nothing for herself as long as you are getting your jollies off.

How's that working for you? Any luck finding a long term partner who enjoys this as well? Didn't think so.

I'm allowed to have needs, wants and desires. I'm allowed to be unwilling to be whipped. As far as that goes, dominance and sadism are not interchangeable terms. I know various tops who couldn't dominate a paper bag and have no desire to take the lead in their relationship.

As well as Owners in a O/p relationship who have zero interest in hurting their partner.

Not only do I enjoy telling him I deserve a spanking, he enjoys hearing it.

A relationship is composed of two people. If both of them aren't getting their needs met, the relationship will fail. You m ight try broadening your perspective, learning both communication and relationship skills and start thinking about what you can give to your partner. Or you can stay alone forever. Your choice. We really don't care which you pick.



theshytype -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 7:39:40 PM)

No worries. I'm sure there are plenty of "Flavors of Non-Dominance" out there that would be more than happy to take those out of the pool for you.



RedMagic1 -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 7:59:32 PM)

Wow, that qualifies as a historical document to someone like me. Circa 1994? "Forwards from grandma," as they say, this time quite literally, I do believe.

Are you the same Ghost who posts in the Fetlife leather history group sometimes? If so, I hope you post here more often. That damn place is not searchable, which is why I stopped posting there. But a searchable database of documents, and alt.sex.bondage copypasta? We could make that real here.

Please don't mind the people who were annoyed by your OP. They didn't understand what they were looking at.



DarkSteven -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 8:01:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

None of that means they aren't submissive.

Simply that they aren't compatible with you.



[sm=agree.gif][sm=goodpost.gif]



OsideGirl -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 8:05:39 PM)


My primary issue with most of this is that it confuses BDSM with D/s. They are not the same thing. IE: this line in particular,
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhostWhoWalks


3. BARBIE-SUB:

This "sub" just likes the way she looks in leather fashions. She is
afraid of the whip, and has never seen a clamp in her life.


There are people that engage in D/s that will never engage in BDSM, so the fact that the submissive has never seen a clamp is not a qualification of submissiveness.

It bugs me that people equate how much kinky sex they engage in with how Dominant or submissive they are, when it's not relevant to the equation. Truly, if you want to see how Dominant or submissive someone is, look at their behavior outside of the bedroom.



DomMeinCT -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 8:12:25 PM)

Still no submissive in your life, eh?

That post is SURE to attract swarms of them that like your acid wit and nasty categorizations.
Best of luck!



ResidentSadist -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/2/2013 8:39:08 PM)

Many of the stereotypes you mention don't involve lack of submission. They are stereotypes that involve shifting countability for submission. IN those cases I have this perspective to share with you.

-=Be accountable For Your Choice To Surrender=-

Do not fight for control if you choose to give it away. I often see a a common mistake when a slave/sub starts losing the feeling of being controlled and does not examine their own responsibility for the change as well as Masters.

I believe this happens when a slave doesn’t take responsibility for the fact that it is was their choice to surrender in the first place. They feel "captured" and “held in place” by Master’s actions more than their own choices. A Master’s actions can only serve remind a slave of their place. Forced seduction and capture are a common romantic slave fantasy but, when the lines between the reality of their choices and their fantasy collide, they need to deal with it and hold their place with the Master. Neither surrendering nor choosing that Master were forced.

A slave/sub needs to stand accountable for their choices. Misplacing either the blame or credit for surrender is emotionally abusive. It has long been my contention that in a collaring ritual, a Master should hand the slave the collar and make her put it on herself to keep the reality of her choice in place.



sunshinemiss -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/3/2013 1:11:41 AM)

... and then there is the Bless Your Heart sub who is too strong for weak doms...



jola37 -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/3/2013 1:39:26 AM)

Have you got any positive views on subs ?



metamorfosis -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/3/2013 1:48:10 AM)

Or negative views on doms?



Kana -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/3/2013 5:33:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GhostWhoWalks

1. POOR-ME SUB:

This "sub" always has something going wrong in her life. Of course,
it is never her fault.. she is always being played upon and
victimized by others. If only she found the *perfect* dom, her life
would be problem-free and forever-blissful. Favorite IM to and: "Will
you be my dom, sir? I am just a helpless little subbie." Favorite IM
to receive: "Just do what I say, slave!"

2. JUST-DO-ME SUB:

This "sub" just wants to be beaten. It doesn't really matter by who,
or what..as long as he (I use "he" here because these are typically
male) can feel the lash. Frequently misbehaving on purpose, this sub
can drive a dom *crazy*. Favorite IM to send: "I have been naughty
and need to be punished. Spank me now, Mistress!" Favorite IM to
receive: "You are a bad sub and need to be punished!
Bendover!"

3. BARBIE-SUB:

This "sub" just likes the way she looks in leather fashions. She is
afraid of the whip, and has never seen a clamp in her life. Her
favorite store is "Dream Dresser", and her whole paycheck is spent
there each week. Favorite IM to send: "Would you like to know what I am
wearing, sir?" Favorite IM to receive: "What are you wearing?"

4. HE-HURT-ME SUB:

This "sub", without any negotiations, talk of limits or safewords,
rushes out to a country cabin to to play with a dom she met 2 days
ago online. After letting him tie her up and whip her, she decides he
is a menace to society, and can't wait to tell all her "sub" friends
he is a "BAD dom". Favorite IM to send: "Subsis, I need to pass on a
warning to you!" Favorite IM to receive: "My poor subsis, you have
got to warn everyone about this creep!"

5. I-JUST-NEED- A-MAN SUB:

This "sub", after exhausting all her singles bar and healthclub meting
places, decides that the D/s world would be a good place to meet a
*man*. she really has no interest in D/s, she just needs someone to
spend the rest of her life with. She is a close relative of POOR-ME
SUB. Amazingly, when she "gets her dom", she suddenly looses interest in any
type of sex. Favorite IM to send: "Sir, will you take care of me forever?"
Favorite IM to receive: "I have always dreamed of having a large family."

6. NO-ONE-CAN-TOP- ME SUB:

This "sub" longs to submit, yet claims no dom is strong enough to top
her. Some say she is really just a domme in disguise. Favorite IM to
send: "Think you are strong enough to put me in my place, jerk?"
Favorite IM to receive: "No, Mistress, I am really just a weak and
helpless slave. ::falling to the floor and kissing your boots::

7. SUBMISSION IS THE GREATEST GIFT Submissive:

This submissive has stars in her eyes and naivety in her heart. She
swoons at the mere thought of a dom, any dom, asking her to pass the salt.
She writes her dom's name in the corner of her notebook with little hearts
and flowers around it. She declares that there is no
better way to love than through submission, and that d/s is
a "better" and "higher" manner of loving than anything a silly old
vanilla person might do. She lives on an emotional roller-coaster,
sentimental enough to cry when seeing a long-distance phone company
commercial. Favorite IM to send: "You are all of life to me, there is
nothing about life worthwhile without you." Favorite IM to
receive: "I am everything you'll ever want or need, and I'll protect
you from everything."



Tyler Durden: Did you know that if you mix equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?

Narrator: No, I did not know that; is that true?

Tyler Durden: That's right... One could make all kinds of explosives, using simple household items.

Narrator: Really...?

Tyler Durden: If one were so inclined.

Narrator: Tyler, you are by far the most interesting single-serving friend I've ever met... see I have this thing: everything on a plane is single-serving...

Tyler Durden: Oh I get it, it's very clever.

Narrator: Thank you.

Tyler Durden: How's that working out for you?

Narrator: What?

Tyler Durden: Being clever.

Narrator: Great.

Tyler Durden: Keep it up then... Right up.

[Gets up from airplane seat]

Tyler Durden: Now a question of etiquette; as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch...?



FrostedFlake -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/3/2013 9:02:11 PM)

[image]http://primroseneedleworks.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Sour-Grapes-Primrose-Needleworks.jpg[/image]



TieMeInKnottss -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/4/2013 6:50:20 AM)

There are people who never enter the BDSM world who are submissive, dominant, switch...And guess what, majority of PEOPLE are, at least in someone's opinion, in a screwed up relationship.

My parents were NOT kinky people (& if they were my brain COULD NOT handle it so don't ask) but they lived a very M/s life. It was not something either forced. My mom does not fit a single one of your types but she was possibly the most submissive/slave-like person I ever met. She would never have called herself either, her actions and personality defined her. She would never have survived or thrived in any other type of relationship but she never would have called herself a sub...

Sorry to go off topic a little. My mom died 8 years ago today & is on my mind.



hlen5 -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/4/2013 7:22:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss


Sorry to go off topic a little. My mom died 8 years ago today & is on my mind.



I'm so sorry for your loss.



kalikshama -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/4/2013 8:35:17 AM)

quote:

4. HE-HURT-ME SUB:

This "sub", without any negotiations, talk of limits or safewords,
rushes out to a country cabin to to play with a dom she met 2 days
ago online. After letting him tie her up and whip her, she decides he
is a menace to society, and can't wait to tell all her "sub" friends
he is a "BAD dom". Favorite IM to send: "Subsis, I need to pass on a
warning to you!" Favorite IM to receive: "My poor subsis, you have
got to warn everyone about this creep!"


Ha. Not too long ago, we had a lengthy thread about problems in the Denver community which IMO boiled down to HE-HURT-ME SUBs.



sexyred1 -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/4/2013 3:38:23 PM)

I just breathed a sigh of relief that the type of sub I am is not on that list.

Whew!



JustAMas -> RE: FLAVORS OF NON-SUBMISSION (8/4/2013 4:24:59 PM)

Is there a one for doms?



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