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New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 1:49:27 AM   
SubCody21


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline 		Hello all, I am new to the site and was just wondering if I could get any advice from the more experienced users as to the best way to conduct myself. (obviously common sense will play a big part lol) I am hoping to meet a woman who will allow me to be her slave, and could use any advice I can get.

thank you :)
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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 2:54:59 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		Welcome to the discussion side Cody.

My advice is to be yourself, don't send money or go to an alternate website (there are far too many scammers out there and some pose as dommes), and treat any potential dominant female as a person first.

Check the Ask a Mistress section for stickies on the subject of how to find a domme.

Don't depend on CM, male subs on here are so numerous your chances aren't good. Get involved with your local kink community. The other site is great for that. You're in Portland, finding a group should be easy.

Once you find that group, raise yourself head and shoulders above the rest of the male sub crowd by understanding a huge component of submission is serving. So serve.

Best, CP


< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 8/4/2013 2:55:53 AM >

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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 8:32:12 AM   
SubCody21


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you for your response!

I agree, I am looking for a woman that will care about me as her sub. I am not interested in paying someone to talk to me lol. I can imagine what you mean about the ratio of subs to Dommes here, from the looks of things there are a lot of people just trying to waist the time of the wonderful women on here, that is last thing I want to do. It is trully in my heart to serve, and so I'll just have to hope I can get recognized for that. :)

can I ask what other site you were referring to?

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 9:51:04 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		The best advice I can give you about how to conduct yourself here is to use what I consider the golden rule of the internet. Treat people the same way on the net as you would if you were face to face, and you'll be golden. That means if you wouldn't walk up to a strange woman in the grocery store and say to her what you were about to type up to her in an email, don't do it.

People do tend to have better results here when joining discussions on the forums, rather than just use the personals side. It gives folks a chance to get to know you.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SubCody21)
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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 9:56:30 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		That other site is called FetLife. Its like a Facebook for kinky people. FL Does a much better job of helping people find kink groups in their area.

This site has a better discussion format.

JMO




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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 12:18:56 PM   
SubCody21


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you for the tips, I will definitely check out that site. I'm ok with waiting untill I find the match, I have just found myself ready to look for a Domina again. I had a woman take me as her sub and it was the most wonderful thing I've ever experienced. Unfortunaty unavoidable circumstances caused us to part ways, but I'm ready to belong to a strong and beautiful woman again :p

-Cody

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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 4:21:14 PM   
SpyUnderCover


Posts: 208
Joined: 6/21/2010
Status: offline 		You've gotten some good advice here. To what's been said I would add, make the content of your profile less about the kinks you enjoy and more about yourself as a person: hobbies, philosophy of life, that kind of thing.

Your one photograph didn't show when I clicked on it. Your primary pic is nice, but I would turn it so it's right side up.

Good luck. Asking questions and being open to feedback (like you just did) is a good start.

Spy

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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 5:02:47 PM   
SubCody21


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline 		You're absolutly right, I was thinking today that once I get off work I should update my profile better. As for the pictures they are causing me difficulties >:o lol, I'm still working on fixing the problems that I'm having with putting up my pictures. thank you for the complament :)



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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 7:09:43 PM   
SubCody21


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline 		Just finished touching up my profile, if anyone would like to check it out and give me some points to work on I would very much appreciate it. :)

(in reply to SubCody21)
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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 8:15:51 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Liked your profile. It wasn't all "kink, kink, kink, do me, do me, do me." What can I say...I like people who have brains and know how to use them. Plus you are from PDX too, so bonus points for being so close to home

First piece of advice Id give it to keep the big head in the game. New people can sometimes get all wrapped up in the fantasy part of it, which can lead to potential poor decisions that can have a not-so-nice outcome (like you getting hurt or possibly killed if you hook up with a total nut bag). It's called sub frenzy...just be aware of it.

Not knowing how new you are to BDSM, D/s, or M/s (wherever in the spectrum you happen to fall)...figure out who you are, what you are hoping to find, and what that will look like for you. It's a spectrum and we all fall somewhere along that line. Figure out you and then find someone in the same general area.

Last piece of advice...there is a big difference between the porn fueled fantasy world and reality. I personally find reality sooooooo much more fun

Good luck in your search

(in reply to SubCody21)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 8:34:46 PM   
SubCody21


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you for the advice! I will try to put my level of expeiriance in the life style in there somewhere as well. Im not BRAND new, but I definitely have a lot to learn. the experience I do have though with my previous Domina has prepared me as to what to expect. I'm not the type of person to make rash decisions, espeacily with the level of trust that goes into a Dom/sub relationship. I want to find someone that I can have a wonderful connection with like I had with my formor Domina. as hard as it may be for me to not obey every word that comes out of a Dominant woman's mouth untill that trust is there, I am my own person. :)

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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/4/2013 8:35:56 PM   
SubCody21


Posts: 9
Joined: 8/3/2013
Status: offline 		on another note, go Portland wheeeeew! haha

(in reply to SubCody21)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/8/2013 8:28:02 AM   
sweetchastity1


Posts: 13
Joined: 7/23/2013
Status: offline 		I have one for you Cody.
If a "mistress" wants you to pack up and relocate to be with her without her actually even taking the time to get to know her via phone, do not do it.
I had been corresponding with [mod edit to remove user name] on this site and that is what this "experienced" woman wanted of me. She is very unstable and I'd stay away from people who do such things.

< Message edited by VideoAdminChi -- 8/9/2013 5:12:38 AM >

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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/8/2013 6:46:26 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubCody21

Hello all, I am new to the site and was just wondering if I could get any advice from the more experienced users as to the best way to conduct myself. (obviously common sense will play a big part lol) I am hoping to meet a woman who will allow me to be her slave, and could use any advice I can get.

thank you :)


There's nothing common about sense. If you have it, you'' be able to figure it out yourself. If you don't, all the explaining in the world will be a waste of breath.

You live in Portland, which has a large, very active BDSM community. The best way to meet women into actually doing BDSM is not here or on any other website. The best way is to join your local community and go to events.

(in reply to SubCody21)
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RE: New to the site, any advice? - 8/9/2013 10:30:53 AM   
jola37


Posts: 433
Joined: 7/8/2013
Status: offline 		Welcome Cody

Seems like you've got you're head screwed on, hope you find what you need ;-)

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 15
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