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caged221 -> Wow... (8/6/2013 11:01:30 AM)
I never do things like this online, I just thought I'd share my experience with collarme. I was completely honest, by the way. Which is probably rare considering... but i have nothing to hide. Within 30 minutes I was talking to three scammers who I'm fairly positive were actually Asian men. Am I crazy? From my experiences a BDSM community is impossible to get into, completely illusory. It's extraordinarily disappointing

LanceHughes -> RE: Wow... (8/6/2013 11:06:00 AM)
Various folk will be along shortly to explain "munch." Me? I've gotta RUN!

OsideGirl -> RE: Wow... (8/6/2013 11:15:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caged221 From my experiences a BDSM community is impossible to get into, completely illusory. It's extraordinarily disappointing I met Master at a social. We were friends for three years. We've been together 13 years, married for twelve and have a large group of friends that are within the BDSM D/s community. Yup, you're correct. It's clearly impossible, illusory and disappointing.

myotherself -> RE: Wow... (8/6/2013 11:19:54 AM)
You don't have any 'experience' by the looks of it...which is not a bad thing, by the way [:D] First of all, as soon as you join the site you come up on the 'new user' scroll, which makes you kinda shark-bait for scammers and idiots for about the first month. Then it dies down. In the meantime, I'm going to elaborate on Lance's cryptic 'munch' comment. A munch is a vanilla gathering of kinksters, usually held in a bar or restaurant (hence the 'munching'). It's free to go - you just pay for what you eat or drink. There's usually no protocol - no-one will try to whip your ass or order you to kiss their boots! It's just people meeting on an equal footing who happen to enjoy kink. My advice would be to get an account on fetlife, search for 'Maryland' and see how many online groups there are in your area. I would expect at least one group to have details of your local munch. Just introduce yourself in one (or more) of those groups, say you're looking for a munch and some helpful soul will point you in the right direction. You can message the organiser direct and ask to be met at the door, if you're nervous (called a 'meet and greet'). As you're still a young'un, you might prefer a TNG group (The Next Generation - under 35s usually) where you might meet people more your own age. Again, ask in a 'Maryland' group. Finally, don't give up on cm! It's a great way to find out stuff, although not the best way to find a partner. Hang around, get to know people and learn lots of really cool things.

DesFIP -> RE: Wow... (8/6/2013 1:17:54 PM)
Fill out your profile. Right now it's completely empty. If you were looking for a friend and lover, wouldn't you want to know in advance if random person A was in the slightest compatible? The way we do that is by reading profiles. An empty profile is the equivalent of going to a party. standing in the corner all night turned away from everyone, and then going home complaining that no one talked to you. And yes, wait a month so you don't show up on the new members list. And get thee to a munch.

Missokyst -> RE: Wow... (8/6/2013 1:39:19 PM)
within 30 mins you were already chatting to some random guys? What is the rush? As a new person expect to get a lot of attention from predators. And honesty? You don't play poker do you? Keeping things close to the vest is best while you are evaluating your opponent.

MasterCaneman -> RE: Wow... (8/6/2013 4:01:59 PM)
Turn a liability into an asset. Accept that you're new and inexperienced and you will be scambait for a while. Have some fun with them during that time. You'll learn what their lingo is, have a few laughs at spelling and geography errors, and most important, by wasting their time, your profile will be purposely ignored by them, letting you focus on what you came here for. They keep lists too, and whenever they get someone who causes them grief, they avoid that person. Time is money, especially when you're paying for bandwidth by the hour at Honest Mugabe's Internet Cafe. For some fun tips, use this site, especially if they want cam proof. Yeah, it was originally intended for advance-fee fraud, but a scam's a scam. Be careful, keep your AV/AM current, and keep logs so you can refer back to them when one of the more persistent ones show up. I managed to scare them off from my profile in about a week. As for finding a "real" BDSM community. They're all around you, all you need to do is learn where to look, and you've already got some good advice. Find a munch, find scene-friendly clubs. Fet is better than CM for local events. Use it.

pahunkboy -> RE: Wow... (8/6/2013 5:04:02 PM)
quote: Fill out your profile. hmm. Well that would be a start. Thanks for saving me a click!!

deathtothepixies -> RE: Wow... (8/6/2013 5:12:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caged221 I never do things like this online, I just thought I'd share my experience with collarme. I was completely honest, by the way. Which is probably rare considering... but i have nothing to hide. Within 30 minutes I was talking to three scammers who I'm fairly positive were actually Asian men. Am I crazy? From my experiences a BDSM community is impossible to get into, completely illusory. It's extraordinarily disappointing this is how the wheat is sorted from the chaff, if you are put off by this initial experience then you are just a dilettante. The scammers are easy to spot so ask yourself why you ended up talking to three of them. Have a look around, chill your boots and understand that genuine people will be recognised as such

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