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WhiteRadiance -> WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME (6/29/2006 8:31:12 AM)
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Some food for thought... As I read profiles on CM and other matchmaker services, I find a common thread.. It is the ALL ABOUT ME theme- and the HERE IS WHAT I WANT theme. This is understandable, because we all want something, and we all have core needs, and we seek out people who can meet our needs. However, it seems to me that we judge people by what they have- not who they are. And when we try to determine who they are- we must find the proper term to classify them. Case in point: There is an older woman with a much younger man. He is successful and good looking. She is older and nice, but has nothing else going for her (that one can see) My thought is: what is he doing with HER? Or I may see a very successful businesswoman who is lovely, gracious, and married to a fat slob who does not work. I think.. she can do better than THAT! But is this the best way to judge others? It is true that we must project an image to the world and I believe that it is in my own best interest to look my best and dress well. I know that I am being judged by what I drive, where I live, what I do, who I am with and how I look- by everyone I come into contact with on a daily basis. And so, unfortunately, I find myself looking at people- not for themselves- but for "what can they do for me"- which is human nature. We all depend on one another and seek out people who have what we like, or need. We look for jobs that can give us the pay we need, while employers look for a worker whose talents they can exploit. It seems to me that all anything amounts to (within society) is the monetary, or beauty value, even if the money is borrowed and the beauty is fake. But what about the value of the things that are sweet, small, innocent and fragile? What about the hearts in the bodies of those beautiful people, or for that matter, the ugly people? What about the suffering and faithful kindness of those who have nothing other than themselves? How do these people find someone who knows the value of what they have? And why am I so blind that all I can see is the car, the house, the clothes and the pretty wrapping? We have managed to devide the human species into nano-segments. (this is my own term) Where 30 years ago we fought stereotypes, in the 1980's through the present, we have been struggling to define ourselves and everyone around us, using terminology that further polarizes and isolates us all. Are you fat, thin, ugly, pretty, left, right, gay, straight, jew, or christian, white, or african american? Here on collar me, I have noticed if you are black you will be classified as an American even if you are from another country! Even music has been divided into nano-segments. Long gone are the days of Rock, soul, blues, jazz and classical. Now we have Rap, hip-hop, R&B, smooth R&B, Jazz, smooth jazz.. classical, classic rock, hard rock, alternative rock... you get the point. Then we further define ourselves and others into groups, then exclusive groups... Sexuality is used to define ourselves, down to a specific kink. Our looks and social background, breast size, cock size, piercings, tattoos, political views, level of education, biases and assumptions, clubs, financial prosperity or lack thereof, etc... it is all used as a mosaic to define everything.. but what does it REALLY mean, and does it REALLY matter? My point is.. Does not the definition of who we are come from within our own hearts? When you repair your car instead of selling it, because it was a gift from your father- others may think you are too poor to buy a new car, when you are merely sentimental. When you take your elderly dog for cataract surgery, some will call you a silly fool, when you just feel that some things are worth any price and you will gladly do anything for something you love. Should we throw away the things that no longer look good, or that cost us money, and cling to the things that look good and can be replaced, because our value system as a society is off- target? When you see a person toil in the sun, back bent with arthiritis, do you think, this is all he can do now? Or can you see the beauty in his unselfish act of growing vegetables and giving them to his friends? It seems to me that personally, I get the most reward out of doing things I love to do, and sharing those things. I know people may look at me and think I have nothing they care to have, because they see only the surface. As we sit on this planet, that is populated by over six BILLION people, many of us sit alone, searching for someone we can define as being compatible with us. Perhaps instead of looking out there, we should begin to look at ourselves. My question is- and this question is for those of you who are so damned picky that you cannot CONDESCEND to accept anything but your ideal of perfection- do not dictate the things you need or want from others- instead, tell me, WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME? What is it WITHIN yourself, that you can offer to others?
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