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Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 4:21:52 PM   
M8keumine


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/18/2013
From: glens falls ny
Status: offline 		Yes I know alot of people on this site play games or are fakes but my question simply is why do sub/slaves ask for serious Dom/Dommes only and then ignore the ones who take a serious interest in getting to know them?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 4:45:11 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		They may have read your profile and decided your interests are not compatible with theirs. They've viewed your picture you are not someone they want to know better. It could be the wording in your message to them. Everyone has their preferences.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 4:49:33 PM   
M8keumine


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/18/2013
From: glens falls ny
Status: offline 		I am asking in general not about me personally

_____________________________

M8keumine

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 4:49:40 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		You asked something similar under another account http://www.collarchat.com/m_4489525/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4489525

There you'd mentioned that you had met someone...?

How is it that you don't seem to understand that people don't select a partner on one or two qualities? Just because someone says they want someone serious doesn't mean that you are the right serious person for them. Come on, you have to understand that everyone has personal preferences, and they have the right to search for what they wish to have. If it's not you then move on and find someone who does want you - all of this was said to you before. Not sure why you think it's any different today then it was a month ago.

(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 5:41:34 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		FR,
They might not be that into you...

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 8/8/2013 5:59:30 PM >

_____________________________

530 DAYS

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Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 5:57:12 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

It took me about 6 years to find what I was looking for on here. But that was because I was willing to have patience and an unwillingness to just settle for whatever just happened to come along. Hell, I didn't even know this was what I was looking for until he found me.

Sorry it's not happening at the speed of light for "you" (the "general" you you speak of, but Im sure if we read between the lines between this and your other post under another name....there is probably a great deal of "me" in your "you"). Not knowing how this mysterious generalized "you" approaches people, I can't give any advice there.

What I can say is that just pointing to "yourself" and proclaiming "your" title isn't enough. It's more like Field of Dreams...."if you build it, they will come." It just doesn't happen finger-snapping quick.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 8/8/2013 6:15:02 PM >

(in reply to ARIES83)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 5:59:54 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: M8keumine
Yes I know alot of people on this site play games or are fakes but my question simply is why do sub/slaves ask for serious Dom/Dommes only and then ignore the ones who take a serious interest in getting to know them?

Let's use a little logic here. When people bump into something interesting they explore it. We humans are a curious lot. It really is pretty much hardwired into us. So if you send a message to someone and they don't respond the only possible conclusion is they found you uninteresting. I've never used them but my understanding is that you can filter mail on this site. So maybe you're getting filtered out by someone because of whatever criteria they set?

Well, not true... in small numbers of cases they may be busy, on a long vacation, etc.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 6:04:02 PM   
getoutnow


Posts: 151
Joined: 8/5/2013
Status: offline 		I've already spoken to quite a few here.

In no particular order.

- One was apparently a "slave" but her attitude stank. So bye bye.
- Another was getting there, then without telling me played with someone else. She then had the audacity to message me and tell me she did and wanted to talk to me further. Again bye bye.
- A few more, exchange emails and then on their side no response.
- I get offers for single play sessions too, but decline them as it's not what I am looking for.

For me I know that its not something that is going to be overnight. I'm not looking for just anyone. I'm sure if I lower my standards I could pickup just any sub. It's quite easy to do you know.

Best ask yourself who would you be happier with. Just anyone or someone who you know would fit your dynamic.

< Message edited by getoutnow -- 8/8/2013 6:05:14 PM >

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 6:10:09 PM   
M8keumine


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/18/2013
From: glens falls ny
Status: offline 		this was meant as a general question to sub/slaves not as a rant or rave or me bitching

_____________________________

M8keumine

(in reply to getoutnow)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 6:13:20 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: M8keumine
this was meant as a general question to sub/slaves not as a rant or rave or me bitching

Ahhhhhh... so in general why not a sub respond other than the obvious?

I'd guess number one reason would be too much spam in her inbox.

Is that the sort of thing you're looking for?

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 6:24:56 PM   
Winterapple


Posts: 1343
Joined: 8/19/2011
Status: offline 		Sincerity is an admirable quality but its not in
of itself enough to build a relationship on.

Other stuff like compatiability has to be factored
in as well. And yes, you can sometimes tell by just
reading someone's profile that you aren't compatiable.

_____________________________

A thousand dreams within me softly burn.
Rimbaud




(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 6:41:50 PM   
M8keumine


Posts: 6
Joined: 5/18/2013
From: glens falls ny
Status: offline 		thank you jeff and winter you actually helped me the most with your answers

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M8keumine

(in reply to Winterapple)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 6:51:37 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: M8keumine
why do sub/slaves ask for serious Dom/Dommes only and then ignore the ones who take a serious interest in getting to know them?


Just because someone has taken a serious interest in getting to know a submissive, it doesn't mean that the submissive has to be interested in that person. Quite frequently it's very easy to discern if someone meets what you are looking for by communication style, photo or profile. If I'm not interested, I'm not going to waste my time or theirs in pursuing it any further.




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 7:05:50 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: M8keumine

I am asking in general not about me personally


But your only experience is with your own experience.

I've taken a serious interest in a few, and it's usually been reciprocated.

Saying that they want a serious Dom does not mean they want anyone who claims to be one. Just like any woman who claims to want a man wants to be choosy about who she gets.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 7:08:07 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

You asked something similar under another account http://www.collarchat.com/m_4489525/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4489525

There you'd mentioned that you had met someone...?

How is it that you don't seem to understand that people don't select a partner on one or two qualities? Just because someone says they want someone serious doesn't mean that you are the right serious person for them. Come on, you have to understand that everyone has personal preferences, and they have the right to search for what they wish to have. If it's not you then move on and find someone who does want you - all of this was said to you before. Not sure why you think it's any different today then it was a month ago.


Thanks lizi!


_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 7:20:52 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: M8keumine

this was meant as a general question to sub/slaves not as a rant or rave or me bitching


1. This may come as a great surprise, but even when two people's kinks are 100% complimentary, that doesn't mean the people are compatible. And it's very rare that two people who have never even met one another have kinks that are 100% complimentary.

2. Just because a person is not interested in another person who is interested in her, or has kinks that are not complimentary to his, does not make her a "fake" or "not serious".

3. Man, and even more so woman, does not live by kink alone. Women are rarely interested in men who appear to be interested in nothing but kink.

3. Women who are actually interested in DOING kink generally already have partners to do it with, or they look for those partners locally, within their local BDSM communities.

4. Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.

(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 7:49:53 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Ok. I just read an email from a guy who wanted to get to know me better. I had answered his prior email letting him know I was not interested in a spank job. Now he suddenly wants more. Do I? No, physically he is not my type. Superficial I know, but we all have things which attract us or repel.

quote:

ORIGINAL: M8keumine

this was meant as a general question to sub/slaves not as a rant or rave or me bitching



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 7:58:28 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Would like to say I am as serious as many can get around here. Unfortunately to many people think that those with disabilities do not understand what
'serious' means.

A bit more polite: My profile and journal entries ought to reflect a person who knows what the community is about. From my view being a Maser is more than bedroom, dungeon, or punishment.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 8:33:09 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: M8keumine
Is anyone serious?
this was meant as a general question to sub/slaves

Hell yes I'm serious! I do not take my submissiveness lightly!

And there are many more just like me on this site, who are serious about
creating and/or maintaining a happy and healthy D/s relationship.
However, it's a little strange to expect seriousness from a total stranger, and I
wouldn't invest much of myself with someone who hasn't garnered my interest.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to M8keumine)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is anyone serious? - 8/8/2013 8:46:08 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
wouldn't invest much of myself with someone who hasn't garnered my interest.

Whereas she is officially my protector (subs shouldn't be the only ones who get protectors)

*puffs his chest and struts around proudly*

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 20
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