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Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game?


I'm a domme, and I take BDSM seriously, it's who I am, etc
  38% (10)
I'm a domme, and I think that BDSM is just a game or kinky fun
  0% (0)
I'm a domme, and I think that BDSM is just a fantasy
  0% (0)
I'm a domme, and BDSM is my profession
  3% (1)
I'm a domme, and BDSM is just something my partner asks me to do/enjoy
  0% (0)
I'm a domme, and other
  11% (3)
I'm not a domme, I'm just a prick who wanted to vote
  46% (12)


Total Votes : 26


(last vote on : 9/8/2013 9:51:12 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/9/2013 10:18:41 PM   
JustAMas


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Vote.
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RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/9/2013 11:28:05 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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Guess I'll be the first to explain My answer. (Unfortunately, I just now realized that I didn't read the thing properly.)

I am a Domme and I'm a prick who just wanted to answer because none of your options fit. In other words, I'm an "all of the above" type. One day, I might be having this deep, emotional experience that is connected with D/s. The next, I might just be having fun because I'm playing and whatever mood strikes Me is My motivation. It's not My profession, but I do a significant portion of what I do because I'm presenting or teaching, which means I've got an education streak about all of this stuff. My life partner and I don't jive on a kink level, but I've got a number of play partners with whom I engage in BDSM for fun, rather than for control.

BDSM for Me is more about topping and bottoming, rather than the authority dynamic that is generally found in D/s. I've got as many motivations for why I do what I do than most folks could come up with for the reason they eat ice cream. Depending on My mood, what I'm doing, who I'm doing it with, and scores of other reasons will determine why I'm doing it or how I feel about it.


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RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/9/2013 11:34:56 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Guess I'll be the first to explain My answer...




You are a better human being than I, Lady Pact. In answer I was just going to give the eye-roll:



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RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 3:07:49 AM   
TNDommeK


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I did the same thing (eye roll) and then typed this.
I'm a Domme, lifestyle, pro, fin and PRICK!
But that wasn't a selection

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RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 3:50:30 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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What isn't this question addressed to male dominants as well? I find the fact that it's addressed to female dominants only to be highly sexist and prejudicial.

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RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 4:29:02 AM   
JustAMas


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Joined: 8/3/2013
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Really... I forget why I made the question specifically for dommes. I actually expected both the doms and dommes to answer "yes" to the question.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
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RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 9:07:34 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
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Maybe you could ask a Mod to change it for you so that both male and female Dominants would be a part of the question.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to JustAMas)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 10:27:52 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustAMas

Really... I forget why I made the question specifically for dommes. I actually expected both the doms and dommes to answer "yes" to the question.


Why on earth would you expect that?

I would expect them to wonder what game *you* were playing by asking the question. There are those, sometimes called kinksters, who view d/s as a game I am sure. People who are strictly bedroom tops or bottoms would answer yes as well.

Those who consider themselves lifestyle would not.

Does that answer your question?

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RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 11:02:04 AM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

What isn't this question addressed to male dominants as well? I find the fact that it's addressed to female dominants only to be highly sexist and prejudicial.


I didn't feel that way. I assumed the OP who started the poll was just interested in the perspective of female dominants, and doesn't really care what male dominants think.

As a straight male sub, if I were going to poll dominants for some reason, I'd probably only poll female dommes, because I don't really care about the male dominants or what they think.

After all, this is just a posting on a little Internet board. It's not like the OP is claiming to be doing some scientific study that will appear in a professional journal.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 11:42:59 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

How would I define myself?

I am mostly dominant in sensual ways. I have a compulsion to express sadism with willing men, bondage being the main focus, and have as far back as I can remember. This isn't going away. Is it integrated into my sex life? Absolutely.

With my primary partner, I am the dominant one, but I don't see our dynamic any more "lopsided" than a lot our peers'. Unless we're doing some fun sexcapades on purpose, he's not ironing naked daily or we're roleplaying with kink during our "normal" lives because we have shit to do. But am the breadwinner for the most part, I am absolutely the instigator in bed and always cum first, he has never in our relationship ever had an orgasm without asking (including on his own), my pleasure always comes first, and there are other subtle "cues" that NO ONE on the outside could ever see. He doesn't follow me around on a leash 24/7. I more like rough-house him and beat the shit out of him in bed and can be cruel, because he can take it, and he does.

Does this make me a lifestyle femdom? I don't know. I don't like that term because it implies that the femdom part is THE most important part in my life and it is not. It's more just an aspect of my sensuality. I'm more of an animal lover, a great friend, a member of a few other communities I cherish, etc. I don't define myself by my standing in a kinky community.

Akasha

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RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 2:04:42 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

I'm more of an animal lover, a great friend, a member of a few other communities I cherish, etc. I don't define myself by my standing in a kinky community.

Akasha


Same here. I hear we have a kink community in my area, but I don't participate in it. I save my socializing for the music/contra community.

Dominance is just part of my constitution, like my eye color and the kinds of foods I enjoy. It's who I am, partner or not.

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Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Dommes - do you feel that BDSM is just a game? - 8/10/2013 2:23:00 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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If you were to swap the word 'domme' for the word 'human' in all those tick-boxes, the problem would become more evident: that most of the answers are appropriate. Or, at least, I could imagine many femdoms saying something like that. Certainly, though, the equivalent would be true of myself and my sub-ness: It's not serious here, it *is* serious there; it's a bit of joke sometimes, goes very deep at other times; a big chunk of me is vanilla, despite another chunk being sub . . . and so on.

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Profile   Post #: 12
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