RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (Full Version)

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angelikaJ -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 10:10:37 AM)

If you have been married as long as you have, that you have some experience suggests you have reached outside the bonds of marriage to get it.

You want more honesty: my guess is that your sex life is limited because you are a lousy lay.

There are all kinds of strategies to deal with asthma.
Asthma while having sex falls under the exercise induced type and that is manageable.


It is true that you could find a sweet young thing to do all the work and just please you sexually.
That won't make you into a better lover.
Or an honest or trustworthy partner.


And it pretty much eliminates you as a good spouse.



graceadieu -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 10:20:17 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
You want more honesty: my guess is that your sex life is limited because you are a lousy lay.

There are all kinds of strategies to deal with asthma.
Asthma while having sex falls under the exercise induced type and that is manageable.


Right, definitely. I know plenty of people with asthma that do more strenuous exercise than sex and rarely use their inhaler. Either she's just not that interested in having sex with him, or she's got more serious problems than asthma.



LadyPact -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 10:31:15 AM)

OP, until you get honest with your wife, there's no way on the planet that you are going to make it work.

(That's about the nicest thing I can say. If I wasn't nice, it would probably be pulled for ToS violations.)



OsideGirl -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 10:42:27 AM)

Honestly, I think this post is disgusting. It leaves me feeling like I should take a shower.

You have the word "trust" in you profile name, yet you've been lying to the most important person in life. You've already proven that you're not trustworthy.

Next, you want to know how get your wife to agree to having a younger woman to play sex games so you can get your rocks off. (I won't even get into how you want someone to relocate, so they can be your piece on the side)

How about you work on your marriage? Because the fact that you've been lying to her for 10 YEARS means there is something seriously fucked up in that marriage. (And considering that pretty much your entire profile and this post is about what you want and nothing about what you offer, I have a pretty good idea)



MasterCaneman -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 11:58:58 AM)

You can't. If you haven't brought this up to her before, it's way too late now. The asthma thing is only partially a reason, I feel. My guess is she's already sized up that you've lost interest in her a long time ago and is simply reciprocating the feeling. Man up and make a decision.

Either bare it all to her what your wants, and desires are (forget "needs", no one "needs" this) and see what her response is, or talk to a lawyer and get out so you can explore this. Either way, this is going to cost you big time. Personally, I wouldn't trash 30 years with someone for an ephemeral fantasy that in all likelihood you'll never achieve, or if you do, it won't be what you've scripted in your head.

If you need a stranger's opinion to make a decision, take this one: choose honor. At least at the end of it all you can close your eyes knowing you have that. Best of luck.



MrRodgers -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 12:16:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deliriuminabox

Wow. Seriously?

Please tell me this is a terrible attempt at trolling. I promise I'll laugh.

Easy now, he like everybody else, gets to stick his dick...er, hook in the water.

I make no such assumptions but these questions for someone not seduced by the siren call of the computer screen should answer themselves.

You are married for over 30 years so you are totally empowered to create a beautiful demonstration. Demonstrate the beauty and pleasure of such a future and even to the edifying of another in the house and the return on that investment as well.

After reading your profile...never mind.



UllrsIshtar -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 12:21:27 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: trustandesire

Why is it so difficult to find a younger, serious sub/slave on here? My profile is honest and sincere. I don't seek the extreme, unusual or impossible. I simply want to find a local who fits any one of my several desires. If anyone reads this, can you at least tell me what I am doing wrong?



Because you're not offering anything that would be even remotely appealing to the type of woman who would want to be a slave.

You're wanting a sex kitten to be at your beck and call, whenever you want her, but for you to be completely unavailable for her when she needs you, because it all needs to fit in with lying to your wife.

Women who look to be slaves usually look to do so because they feel that being in a M/s will give them the opportunity to be closer to their mate, rely on him more, have more of his time and guidance, have more of his attention, have more of his interaction, have more involvement of him in her life and activities, have more of his direction, than a vanilla relationship offers.

Women who look to be slaves don't look for relationships in which they can be more independent from their partner than they would be in a vanilla relationship. They don't look to be single, and have a sex play mate on the side, so that they can maintain independence and freedom and focus on their career, like some -very few- vanilla women do want.

Everything you've even remotely trying to offer to this girl is the absolute OPPOSITE of what a woman with slave-tendencies would be looking for in a relationship.

So stop dreaming, don't tell your wife, and stop being such a selfish prick (both with your wife, as well as this hypothetical woman you're looking for you're being a selfish prick) because as long as you keep being a man who thinks that the world revolves around his dick, you will be so fundamentally undeserving of having any woman in your life that you'll never make one happy, let alone two.



ResidentSadist -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 3:35:37 PM)

In 40 years experience have I gotten a straight girl to go bisexual? Yes.
Have I gotten a vanilla girl to go leather lifestyle? Yes.
Have I gotten a monogamous girl to go poly? Yes.
Have I had a straight monogamous vanilla girl to flip all those at once on my behest . . . are you serious? That is crazy shit. Beore you try and sell her on voluntarily participating in what I presume she will see as you getting a newer model leather replacement wife for sex, maybe you ought to introduce her to the concepts of dominance, the leather lifestyle, poly and try working on that bisexual thang!!!

For some people any one of the concepts is a big step much less all of them. You won't find the answer to the ridiculous expectations of your mid life crisis in this forum thread. Seriously, look at the severity of what you asked:

99.99% straight to go 100% bisexual
100% vanilla to go for D/s style relationship
100% monogamous to go poly and take the equivalent of a second wife

Somehow I just don't feel like you gave this any serious or reasonable thought and it feels like some unrealistic fantasy you tossed at us.



Toysinbabeland -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 3:38:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: trustandesire

I am a straight Dominant man. Not much experience. My wife is 100% vanilla, .01% bi. Totally old school. We have very limited sex life due to her asthma and other issues. Both 50 yrs old. How do I get her to suggest or welcome a younger slave into our marriage of 30+ years. I'm looking for simple dominance, a sex / domestic slave who obeys. My wife has no idea of my desires of dominance but knows I am dominant as she also is. She has no idea of this lifestyle or that a "slave" even exists.



Offer to get her a male slave.
Then don't bring a female into the fold .
Nuff said.



OvrThRainbow -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 4:01:49 PM)

I've been reading the forums for quite a while and one thing that stands out are the married men who come here to look for sex. The assumption is that women on a kink site are loose and immoral and are lining up to satisfy old men who blame their wives for a sexless marriage. Of course, they (the men) want to keep the security of staying married while willy-boy has a good time.
The tone of the posts is "poor me, my wife won't have sex with me. She won't indulge my kinks. What else can I do but cheat?"
Then, they get annoyed when the hot, young subbies don't want to give them a whirl.

As Spock would say:

Fascinating.



Toysinbabeland -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 4:10:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OvrThRainbow

I've been reading the forums for quite a while and one thing that stands out are the married men who come here to look for sex. The assumption is that women on a kink site are loose and immoral and are lining up to satisfy old men who blame their wives for a sexless marriage. Of course, they (the men) want to keep the security of staying married while willy-boy has a good time.
The tone of the posts is "poor me, my wife won't have sex with me. She won't indulge my kinks. What else can I do but cheat?"
Then, they get annoyed when the hot, young subbies don't want to give them a whirl.

As Spock would say:

Fascinating.



That.

Just to ruffle a few feathers:

And may I add that those same men get very upset when you ask them to picture their wife with another....or with their mom.....or with mine.

Go figure.



FrostedFlake -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/11/2013 11:51:16 PM)

Hire a pro.

Edit to remove the word : Idiot.



TNDommeK -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/12/2013 1:06:56 AM)

Wow, this guys poor wife.



MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/12/2013 2:10:56 AM)

I agree, and if she's exerting herself enough to have an exercise-induced asthma attack, it seems there-in lies the problem: you are a lousy lay because you're LAZY, expecting HER to do all the work.
Maybe if you got down and got BUSY your wife would finally be interested in having sex with you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
You want more honesty: my guess is that your sex life is limited because you are a lousy lay.

There are all kinds of strategies to deal with asthma.
Asthma while having sex falls under the exercise induced type and that is manageable.




metamorfosis -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/12/2013 3:53:23 AM)

You don't. Divorce her. She's never going to agree, and you're never going to stop cheating. Or at least wishing you were cheating. Just get out. Better for both.



metamorfosis -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/12/2013 4:06:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Hire a pro.

Edit to remove the word : Idiot.


Good job removing that word.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/12/2013 4:08:32 AM)

This:


quote:

So stop dreaming, don't tell your wife, and stop being such a selfish prick (both with your wife, as well as this hypothetical woman you're looking for you're being a selfish prick) because as long as you keep being a man who thinks that the world revolves around his dick, you will be so fundamentally undeserving of having any woman in your life that you'll never make one happy, let alone two.

_____________________________


If you *really* cared about your wife, you'd get the both of you in couples therapy and at least attempt to fix what's broken. Here's a small clue: Cheating won't accomplish that.






Charles6682 -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/12/2013 4:29:48 AM)

What a sad post. I feel sorry for the wife more than anything.



descrite -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/12/2013 7:01:19 AM)



My primary sub has the asthma, and sometimes uses her inhaler prior, during, or just after a scene. It can be worked in well, if you learn to communicate. It can even take on a form of bretah play, if done properly.


There are many dating sites for younger women to find older men (http://www.agemingle.com/); in fact, many young women are drawn to the mature, established, secure, experienced older older male-- the archetype exists for a reason. Even mainstream sites such as OKCupid.com can skew that way. Currently, only one of my subs is older than me.

Unfortunately, your wife probably will not be able to adapt to a relationship with new parameters in a timely fashion; it is probably best for you and her to part ways amenably, so that you might both find fulfillment elsewhere.

Good luck.






kalikshama -> RE: How Do I get my wife to agree???? (8/12/2013 7:02:04 AM)

quote:

Because you're not offering anything that would be even remotely appealing to the type of woman who would want to be a slave.

You're wanting a sex kitten to be at your beck and call, whenever you want her, but for you to be completely unavailable for her when she needs you, because it all needs to fit in with lying to your wife.

Women who look to be slaves usually look to do so because they feel that being in a M/s will give them the opportunity to be closer to their mate, rely on him more, have more of his time and guidance, have more of his attention, have more of his interaction, have more involvement of him in her life and activities, have more of his direction, than a vanilla relationship offers.

Women who look to be slaves don't look for relationships in which they can be more independent from their partner than they would be in a vanilla relationship. They don't look to be single, and have a sex play mate on the side, so that they can maintain independence and freedom and focus on their career, like some -very few- vanilla women do want.

Everything you've even remotely trying to offer to this girl is the absolute OPPOSITE of what a woman with slave-tendencies would be looking for in a relationship.


Great post Ish.



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