RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard????

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 9:18:03 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Iv'e waited the entire thread so far, just to make this point.

When you put someone in an altered state, you CANNOT simply rely on some trendy thing like a safe word. It is no more reliable than the body which must utter it. What you MUST rely on is a competent Top.

And if there is no one at the wheel who REALLY knows how to drive,with all of the quirks and wierdness that can happen in this........

You are going to be in a world of hurt-and in more ways than one.

Are you insinuating my Dom is incompetent??? If so you are about the rudest person that has posted to me on CM, not to mention that your assuming that a safeword is the only mechanism to keep me safe, it isn't. Safewords and other signals are not trendy, they replace words such as "no", "don't", "Stop".. nothing trendy about it.

If you wanted to make the point that safewords should not be the only mechanism to keep a submissive safe, fine, but to insinuate my Dom isn't competent because we have one is beyond rude when responding to my post. You do not know anything about how he keeps me safe based on my post, and assuming you do is indeed arrogant

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Post #: 21

RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 9:29:55 AM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Iv'e waited the entire thread so far, just to make this point.

When you put someone in an altered state, you CANNOT simply rely on some trendy thing like a safe word. It is no more reliable than the body which must utter it. What you MUST rely on is a competent Top.

And if there is no one at the wheel who REALLY knows how to drive,with all of the quirks and wierdness that can happen in this........

You are going to be in a world of hurt-and in more ways than one.

Are you insinuating my Dom is incompetent??? If so you are about the rudest person that has posted to me on CM, not to mention that your assuming that a safeword is the only mechanism to keep me safe, it isn't. Safewords and other signals are not trendy, they replace words such as "no", "don't", "Stop".. nothing trendy about it.

If you wanted to make the point that safewords should not be the only mechanism to keep a submissive safe, fine, but to insinuate my Dom isn't competent because we have one is beyond rude when responding to my post. You do not know anything about how he keeps me safe based on my post, and assuming you do is indeed arrogant

All about you again?

Please show me where I used YOUR name.

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Post #: 22

RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 11:14:34 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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You replied to me.. read on the bottom "in reply to juliaoceania", and since it was in response to me I took it to be directed at me.. especially since MY post was the the only one that talked about using a safe word. Call me crazy for thinking it was in relation to my post. I will just avoid you from now on..pissing contests are not something I enjoy and are to be avoided. If you did not mean it towards me and I took it the wrong way.. fine, but your words in response show I was probably right on target.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 23

RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 12:06:58 PM

Sirandlittle1

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
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The first time i had my face slapped, i went from 40 to 4 in a nanosecond. And it drove us crazy! Very intense, not overly painful, more the effect within the dynamic at the time.
We have gone on to incorporate this occasionally. And in those occasions twice, instead of feeling dropped, i wanted to slap back. ITs a tricky thing, face slapping sometimes.
little1

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 4:24:07 PM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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~fast reply

Like others I have a hard time gauging how hard I have been hit, but usually I underestimate it. I often walk away from a play thinking that my Lord has not played me very hard when in fact, he has been hitting me very hard.

Knight's kyra

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Post #: 25

RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 7:07:15 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
(also, it seemed a tad brutal)-

When I was growing up my mother was abusive. The tinyest thing would set her off and if I was within arms reach she'd slap or backhand me. Over time, if she moved quickly (to scratch an itch for example) I would sometimes flinch, which would piss her off and I'd surely get beaten.

I guess face slapping has taken on a sense of being powerless and humiliated and it has always been a limit for me... I wonder if perhaps I should investigate whether I can desensitize myself to the past issues, with a trusted partner?

It's gotten me thinking...

Calandra, with the right partner, I think the answer is yes. I had a similar issue - it wasn't always my mother's hand that came across my face but sometimes whatever she could quickly grab. The odd thing is with Master, I do not even flinch. Sometimes he will raise his hand with an intimidating look on his face, and I remain totally still, looking him in the eye...and waiting. The very first time he slapped me though, was a fairly light slap and sent me reeling just like julia did. Now, he lays them on pretty hard, and I'm gone. I'm waiting for a knock out...lol

But getting back to your question, there are several childhood traumas I have overcome with Master. He has guided me very carefully down those paths.

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 7:43:48 PM

Caretakr

Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

You replied to me.. read on the bottom "in reply to juliaoceania", and since it was in response to me I took it to be directed at me.. especially since MY post was the the only one that talked about using a safe word. Call me crazy for thinking it was in relation to my post. I will just avoid you from now on..pissing contests are not something I enjoy and are to be avoided. If you did not mean it towards me and I took it the wrong way.. fine, but your words in response show I was probably right on target.

Lordy, this stupid board doesn't let you reply any way BUT to someone. Again,if I don't mention YOUR name quit being so reactionary.

< Message edited by Caretakr -- 6/30/2006 7:44:16 PM >

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 8:10:58 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr
Lordy, this stupid board doesn't let you reply any way BUT to someone. Again,if I don't mention YOUR name quit being so reactionary.

Well there is the nifty idea of saying "Not in reply to anyone in particular" or "Not in reply to Julia" in the beginning of your post so that it's clarified.

And then, upon understanding that your words were taken in a completely unintentional way (no matter how perhaps overly reactive it was), the general thing to do is say "Whoa, just a miscommunication" not the transference of defensive posture and continued antoganization.

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 6/30/2006 9:49:27 PM

Tamerofwild1s

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actually this "stupid board" does allow you to reply directly to a certain persons post it's that "stupid reply" button right above the post you would like to reply too . but what the hell do I know I haven't posted nearly as much as some of you.

I personally wonder if ever the day will come that Iwill read a forum where someone has not incited a arguementative response to a post from someone or a merely misconstued posting is not takin in a inflammatory way

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 7/1/2006 3:00:18 AM

becca333

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Dammit I hate threads like this.

Face-slapping is one of my hard limits. I don't like the idea, it's always seemed abusive to me.

But now... now I'm sort of interested. Which means that sooner or later I'm just going to HAVE to try it.

Just when I think I've got myself sorted out, along comes something new to shake me up again.

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 7/1/2006 6:52:48 AM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
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For me, it has never been about how hard but how hard i perceived it to be. In my opinion, an experienced and extremely competent Dom (which you obviously have Julia) could simply blow lightly on your cheek and it would have the same impact as a hard smack.

Of course this is coming from someone who believes a great scene is one that you walk away feeling like your bruised from head to toe only to find the next day, there isn't a mark to be found.

Gotta love the mind.....

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 7/1/2006 7:00:54 AM

KnightofMists

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Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Lordy, this stupid board doesn't let you reply any way BUT to someone. Again,if I don't mention YOUR name quit being so reactionary.

actually this board allows you to type within the post...

quote:

"Not in reply to anyone in particular" or "Not in reply to Julia"

however, it is rather free form and must remember to do it, which sometimes can be tricky to remember. Most often it's not really needed. However, if one's post is going to critical, I would make the special effort to clarifiy who it's directed or not directed to.

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 7/1/2006 7:10:13 AM

PlayfulOne

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the fast reply strikes again

The flair ups between people n the board because someone has used fast reply and the post just shows as being linked to who ever made the last post seems to have become a constant problem

K

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RE: You Only Hit Me That Hard???? - 7/1/2006 7:12:48 AM

bandit25

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Caretakr.,

If you hit the reply button, it assumes that you are replying to the person's post you are in at the time. I've known julia for a bit now and she's not a reactionary person...not like you implied. I can understand why she would be somewhat offended by your post. Knight is correct. If your words can be misconstrued, it may be best to state in the beginning that you aren't replying to anyone in particular.

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 7/1/2006 7:13:44 AM >

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Post #: 34