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A positive tale - 8/12/2013 11:14:11 AM   
sirsilas


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/18/2011
Status: offline 		There are lots of stories of folk who have had bad experiences on here. I have had these, rudeness, ignorance and downright bad manners. However I have also met both online and real life, a small number of honest to god lovers of bdsm. These make wading through the dross bearable. To all those yet to find a positive experience I say, keep at it you will succeed
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: A positive tale - 8/12/2013 11:57:45 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		You may want to specifically mention those users you met, as is required by the guidelines.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sirsilas)
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RE: A positive tale - 8/12/2013 2:56:00 PM   
sirsilas


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/18/2011
Status: offline 		Best remove it then my friend. I would never name names on here. They know who they are, Im certainly not going to share their names with the loonry squad

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: A positive tale - 8/12/2013 4:54:02 PM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		I totally agree with you and have asked why names must be given but have not gotten an answer yet. I really think its no ones business others than those who have meet and they may not want their names here. Glad you have had some good times and here's to many more.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to sirsilas)
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RE: A positive tale - 8/12/2013 10:23:34 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsilas

Best remove it then my friend. I would never name names on here. They know who they are, Im certainly not going to share their names with the loonry squad


That's the point of this section. If they don't want to be mentioned, no need to post here at all.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to sirsilas)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: A positive tale - 8/13/2013 5:34:02 AM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		I think the point of this section is to tell others you have had a good experience and maybe tell a little about it. Who you have had that experience with is really no one business. Since you can not black list people on CM if you have had a bad experience, why should it be okay to mention them, (unless you have their permission to do so), for a good experience??? Maybe someday I will get an answer to my question.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: A positive tale - 8/13/2013 6:21:00 AM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		This thread has been moved from Positive Experiences to Off Topic.

I don't make the guidelines, I just enforce them. They currently say:

Positive Experiences - Section Guidelines

As the description for this section states, this is a forum for members to post about their positive experiences with meeting other Collarme.com members IN PERSON, in a non-professional setting.

Criticism of other users is not permitted. Only members who have met other members from this site in person should post here.

You should also post the username(as of 02/10/13), date (or approximate time) of when you first met in person and how long you have known each other online prior. Any other details will be left up to the person posting. You do not have to be currently involved with anyone that you write about. The only requirements are that you have met them in person and it was a positive experience that you wish to share with others.

< Message edited by VideoAdminChi -- 8/13/2013 6:23:04 AM >

(in reply to Rasciallymisty)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: A positive tale - 8/13/2013 10:09:05 AM   
lovethyself


Posts: 1818
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline 		FR

I'm with Misty. I always thought that the point was more to give hope to others that there are real people on here, that meet and connect in a real world setting. I love reading the stories that people share.

This site is (aside from the forums) a personals site. That means that most meets are happening with the intention of finding a partner. I don't go around bragging about every new guy I start dating or have an interest in. Most never lead to anything, and I just look like a starry-eyed fool to my friends and family (been there, done that).

From what Chi posted, I gather the username requirement is a new addition to the guidelines (as of date in brackets). I've contemplated sharing my positive experience (we've been dating for 8 months or so now), but if I have to share his user name, then no thanks. I come to the forums for learning and advice. I'm not the most experienced person here, and I have a lot of questions. I don't think it's fair to him for me to post his name in one thread, and then ask for advice on things that may not be working for us in a different one. Especially since it's something I can't take down later if our relationship changes or ends. Then his future prospects can read (and infer) all sorts of details about him where he had no oportunity to defend himself. It could potentially cause all sorts of future headaches. Possibly entailing creating a new account after every breakup. And I've worked hard at my post count!

Even a simple coffee date could be misconstrued. I've made a couple of friends through CM, and I've been meaning to go for coffee with one of them again. I know that there is nothing between us, and so does he. But how would his current partner (also met through CM) take it if she saw me post about a great coffee meet with him and used his specific username? I don't feel that is a choice I have a right to make without the other party being part of it. So, I won't post it there.

I'm not sure why the owners added the username requirement. I'd rather have it as an option. But that's just me.

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A positive tale - 8/13/2013 12:38:30 PM   
VideoAdminChi


Posts: 3086
Joined: 8/6/2012
Status: offline 		It was a requirement when I became a mod; I requested that this requirement be added to the guidelines for clarification.

(in reply to lovethyself)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: A positive tale - 8/13/2013 12:52:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Even before that was officially put in the guidelines, I was always under the impression that it was the unspoken rule. That's how people know it's an actual CM member, rather than putting up fantasy threads. (Which honestly were a problem in the past, before the Creative Writing section was added.)

I've written (and been written about) more Positive Experience threads than I can remember. I've never had anybody become confused when I've said I met so and so at a munch or got together for a friendly lunch. At least 95% of the time, if it's somebody from the forums, it's real easy to avoid problems if you just mention that you'd like to write a Positive Experience thread about the fact that you got to meet them. If I don't ask, I don't write a thread about meeting that person. Simple.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: A positive tale - 8/13/2013 3:15:18 PM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		My thought still stands if you can not blacklist someone than a positive experiences is the same a name is a name no matter how it is used. I just like reading when someone has had a good meet and knowing there is hope for others.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: A positive tale - 8/13/2013 5:36:42 PM   
lovethyself


Posts: 1818
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VideoAdminChi

It was a requirement when I became a mod; I requested that this requirement be added to the guidelines for clarification.


Thanks for that clarification. I know I read most of the guidelines when I first joined, but I couldn't tell you specifically what they said, just the overall impressions I got. That impression was that it was encouraged, but not required.

Oh, and LP, the friends I've made aren't from the forum side.

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A positive tale - 8/13/2013 8:24:00 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		It's always lovely to hear positive stories! thanks for sharing.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to lovethyself)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A positive tale - 8/15/2013 4:55:08 AM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		Thank you Chi for posting the rule. The little bit of rebel in me tends to just disagree with just this one. I hope others keep posting their positive experience as I love reading them....names or no names.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to VideoAdminChi)
Profile   Post #: 14
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