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Dropping in to Say Hello - 8/12/2013 10:28:58 PM

LookingForFun27

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline

You've all been there, at a loss searching for the right venue to pursue these "crazy" interests we all share. Really, it's sad. BDSM relationships can be so much more meaningful than vanilla ones--there is no parallel (in my humble opinion) when it comes to building trust and searching for identity that that of a dominating mistress pushing her long-loved slave toward his limits, displaying primal emotions rarely experienced by those outside the realm of D/s. There's also no art more beautiful than a young man (or woman) in his prime physique tied up, helpless, in only the most intricate of Shibari patterns. Perhaps it'll be within our lifetimes, in this generation, that society will start to see a profound shift toward the acceptance of BDSM aspects. Gender and Identity lines are blurring, liberal lobbyists are securing more control over the mass media, sexual orientations are being explored by an increasing amount of people... who knows, maybe this generation will turn BDSM relationships from the taboo state it's in now to a popular model to strive for in the future.

Maybe. Or we'll just have to enjoy the benefits all for ourselves.

About Me:
I've gotta say, I'm pretty new to the scene. I've never had a partner interested in anything alternative, well, I haven't really had very many partners to begin with. Still, I've always been interested in many aspects of this culture since a very young age... I'll spare you all the embarrassing stories of self-experimentation at the age of 12.

I guess that's what lead me here. Community is important within minority groups (to which I would certainly say we're all a part of), and so according to the guidelines of the introduction threads, I figured I'd post just a bit about me and try to engage the community.

That being said, I'm glad I've found collarme. I've tried some of the other sites, the sites that charge money or the sites more geared toward social networking, but I just haven't had the same experience. I've only had a profile here for a few days, and I already love it--from the interface to the search tools to the extended profile capabilities... it also helps that it's free of course

. Now we just need more people!

And to the good stuff...
If you found my post interesting and you'd like to get to know me better, I'm always looking for friends (or otherwise). If you were wondering my particular interests, fluid as they may be, check out my profile (Hint: I'm a sub).

Anyways, thanks to all for reading. I hope to remain in contact with you all and active here as I begin my exploration into the lifestyles.

P.S. WE NEED MORE DOMMES. It's a little selfish, I understand, to be a sub... but what happen to altruism?

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RE: Dropping in to Say Hello - 8/13/2013 5:46:14 AM

Rasciallymisty

Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

Hello and welcome to CM and the forums. LOL there is a long line in front of you that also thinks there should be more Domme's .....but the facts still remains there are about 100 male subs for every one Domme. Best of luck in finding her. Happy posting.

_____________________________

~misty~

Been here since 2004

Fear has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise." The choice is yours!!!!!

(in reply to LookingForFun27)

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RE: Dropping in to Say Hello - 8/13/2013 8:14:40 AM

OohAahMrs

Posts: 7723
Joined: 7/14/2010
Status: offline

Welcome Look, if only it was all so easy, still, you never know.

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You may choc the choc.........Oh forget it......

(in reply to LookingForFun27)

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RE: Dropping in to Say Hello - 8/13/2013 9:16:00 AM

LookingForFun27

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rasciallymisty

Hello and welcome to CM and the forums. LOL there is a long line in front of you that also thinks there should be more Domme's .....but the facts still remains there are about 100 male subs for every one Domme. Best of luck in finding her. Happy posting.

Haha wow... intimidating statistic. What's worse is, for female dommes, most of them I've come to find out are not inherently interested in the domme lifestyle; I may be stepping on a few toes here, but I am extremely skeptical on these female dommes who list their primary kink as a "financial fetish."

Let's get down to earth for a moment. While I'm sure there is some truth to the idea that investing money in your partner is a means of dominance, I highly doubt the authenticity of many of these females as true "dominants". Some girls come out and say it: "I need money, my services do not come cheap." Right, this is not being "dominant." Copy and pasting a few aggressive statements to attract horny sub men with big pockets is one step above prostitution (it is, after all, paying for a sexual service).

To take a step back, I don't mean to turn this thread into a flame war in any way

; I just got here, in fact. It just seems many of these girls are just fishing for "tributes." Many of them don't even list or talk about the other dominant-related kinks, it's just sad, is all.

So it would seem that for that 1 domme out of every 100 male subs, chances are (especially if it's a female domme, not trying to point fingers but just look at the profiles...) they're fishing for money in exchange for bossing you around a few times here and there with no intention on engaging in a true D/s relationship. The odds are not good, all you straight male subs. Maybe I should change my focus to men...

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- Charlie

(in reply to Rasciallymisty)

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RE: Dropping in to Say Hello - 8/13/2013 9:28:14 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookingForFun27
Many of them don't even list or talk about the other dominant-related kinks, it's just sad, is all.

A lot of women here, regardless of which side of the kneel they are on, don't list or talk about kinks or sex because of the level and quality of email that doing so brings.

There is also more to a person that just kink and most women prefer to be approached as a woman first rather than a kink delivery system.

So, if that's your gauge on whether someone is really Dominant or not, you may want to revise that criteria.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LookingForFun27)

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RE: Dropping in to Say Hello - 8/13/2013 10:02:00 AM

LookingForFun27

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/11/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LookingForFun27
Many of them don't even list or talk about the other dominant-related kinks, it's just sad, is all.

A lot of women here, regardless of which side of the kneel they are on, don't list or talk about kinks or sex because of the level and quality of email that doing so brings.

There is also more to a person that just kink and most women prefer to be approached as a woman first rather than a kink delivery system.

So, if that's your gauge on whether someone is really Dominant or not, you may want to revise that criteria.

I can understand not listing kinks for the sake of pursuing communication that will go beyond the potential superficiality of quick messaging on the site, I truly can. In fact, I have nothing pertaining to romantic or "sexy" language on my profile; just a list of kinks for those who are wanting to see compatibility. I'm more-or-less thinking in terms of the women who plaster messages demanding money and nothing else on their profile.

If I saw a female domme, who listed just maybe a little bit about themselves or maybe just a message saying "Hey, email me for details about my interests," and I was interested, I would go for it.

It's the ones who are trying to run a service, who within two messages already appear to have no depth, who demand money within a minute of conversation as a "test of submission," without even knowing the other person's name... these dommes, most likely, have no interest in dominance or kinks.

It's a difficult circumstance to approach, as the visual lines separating paid services and alternative lifestyles begin to blend, I understand.

I'm all for the dommes that want to pursue a higher level of communication via a different venue, whether that be email or chatrooms or coffee shops even; in fact those are the ones I'm after

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- Charlie

(in reply to OsideGirl)

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