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Allowed Friends? - 8/15/2013 7:12:03 PM   
slave617


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/17/2013
Status: offline 		What's the difference between a friend, and an allowed friend?
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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/15/2013 10:39:02 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		The noise level.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 3:30:17 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Haaaaaa!

Not sure OP, I would assume the ones you were allowed to hang out with?

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 4:52:35 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slave617

What's the difference between a friend, and an allowed friend?


The difference is that I know what a friend is, and have no clue what an allowed friend is.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 5:13:49 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		'Allowed' friend is a term used by desktop dominants who are so uberly dominant in their own minds they decide who their s-type should or should not be friends with.

If you can't trust someone to make good friend choices, why do you want them to be your s-type?

Decided this sort of thing smacks of isolation, a move often made by predators.







< Message edited by ChatteParfaitt -- 8/16/2013 5:14:03 AM >

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 5:33:26 AM   
garyFLR


Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Haaaaaa!

Not sure OP, I would assume the ones you were allowed to hang out with?


! Actually K, I've been wondering that, I've got friends all over parts of my profile I didn't know I had. Eg, what's an admirer, someone's got to come up with an answer.


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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 7:36:40 AM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

'Allowed' friend is a term used by desktop dominants who are so uberly dominant in their own minds they decide who their s-type should or should not be friends with.

If you can't trust someone to make good friend choices, why do you want them to be your s-type?

Decided this sort of thing smacks of isolation, a move often made by predators.







Not necessarily. I had a buddy whose wife (wisely) had a list of his idiot friends who were allowed over at their house. No kink or abuse involved at all, just simple common sense because some of his other friends were real good at getting him into the "Here, hold my beer" kind of trouble. I'm proud to say I was on the 'Allowed' list.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 10:33:30 AM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		I believe they mean on the other side, someone sends you a friend request and you can either add them as a friend or select as an allowed friend.
Selecting friend will add them to your profile under friends.
Adding them as allowed friend will not show on your friends list but will show on theirs.

The purpose? I dunno.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 11:02:29 AM   
ShaharThorne


Posts: 11071
Joined: 2/24/2009
From: Somewhere in TX
Status: offline 		I still have issues with the admirers spot...I got subs and slaves on there that I don't associate with.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 11:03:33 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

I still have issues with the admirers spot...I got subs and slaves on there that I don't associate with.


I don't like it either. I find it creepy, stalker-ish and passive aggressive.


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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 5:24:52 PM   
tommonymous


Posts: 404
Joined: 1/21/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

I still have issues with the admirers spot...I got subs and slaves on there that I don't associate with.


I don't like it either. I find it creepy, stalker-ish and passive aggressive.




Yep, this. ^^ I actually went so far as to message someone who had decided they needed a quick way to check up on me, and never heard back from her. (Actually, I messaged her twice. I hear the memory's the second thing to go...)

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/16/2013 6:02:32 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't get the whole admirers thing either....the only person it helps is the "admirer" to keep tabs on the "admiree"..... so they can basically harass, if they want, the person they are admiring.....strange....why even have it?

I have never found one "admirer" on my profile I wanted to contact in many years.....

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 8/16/2013 6:04:45 PM >

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/17/2013 9:06:41 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		And I come into today to find a I have a new admirer.

I find it passive aggressive in a way....you want to let me know you're looking, but won't send an email or talk to me. It's just creepy.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/17/2013 5:00:39 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaharThorne

I still have issues with the admirers spot...I got subs and slaves on there that I don't associate with.



I have used it in the past if I wanted to show someone a profile that was either really good or unbelievably stupid. Usually the later. I have also used it to see if someone I have reported has had their profiles looked at. I also have a mod on there but I can't remember now why I did that. I only have a handful on there and most of the time forget it is even there. I have no clue why the people who have me on the list do so but it really doesn't bother me. It's another one I don't think of that much unless it comes up like on here. I never really thought about what they might think of me doing it. I do use the friends list but with the exception of one lovely lady they are only people I actually know in real life.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/17/2013 5:02:58 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

And I come into today to find a I have a new admirer.

I find it passive aggressive in a way....you want to let me know you're looking, but won't send an email or talk to me. It's just creepy.



Ok I admit that there is a small sadistic part of me that wants to add you if only for a day or two. But I would never want to creep you out so I will refrain.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/17/2013 6:17:26 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I just assume they really want a cookie.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/17/2013 7:04:11 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		You got cookies, you got admirers.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/17/2013 8:20:24 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I have pages of admirers. I never even look at the list so I have no idea who is even on it. Even if I did, because there are so many I would have no clue who is new and old, how many times they have viewed me, etc...

Now those who have viewed me, I delete on a daily basis simply because my ocd kicks in and I hate to see "who has viewed you" lit up in red on the left hand side.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/17/2013 11:58:47 PM   
shallowdeep


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/1/2006
From: California
Status: offline 		It might be worth noting that what appears as an "Admirers" feature to the admired actually presents itself to the person supposedly doing the admiring as merely an "Add to Favorites" button with no indication that the profile in question will be notified of the favoriting action. Imputing a passive aggressive motivation to the behavior may be a bit strong, as I suspect many, if not most, of the people using it are unaware that they are showing up as silent, stalker-ish "Admirers." Clicking an Add to Favorites button thinking it will function as a purely personal bookmark seems to have uses that don't strike me as particularly creepy – for instance, perhaps there was just an interesting quote, journal entry, link, or post in the profile that the user didn't want to forget. The disconnect between the way the feature is presented and the way it functions may bear some of the responsibility for any understandably unnerving walls of silent, staring faces (well, perhaps the images are faces if you're lucky…) lurking just a click behind the Admirers button.

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RE: Allowed Friends? - 8/18/2013 3:47:41 AM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline 		I've had a couple of people "admire" me... When I message them an ask what made them want to do that, I get no replies! If you really admire me, shouldn't you answer my messages?!

Anyhoo...
In what way exactly can that feature be used to keep tabs on someone/harass them? I don't really get what people are talking about there.

***I mustn't have scrolled down enough to see your post Shallowdeep, thanks your techpertise is always an interesting read and your take on the 'admiring situation' seems like a pretty likely explanation.****

< Message edited by ARIES83 -- 8/18/2013 3:55:35 AM >

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