Chemistry...what is it ?

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Chemistry...what is it ? - 8/17/2013 3:49:24 PM

MrRodgers

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You inexperienced single sub/slaves, has this happened to you ? In your gut, your heart, you feel a need to try and experience submission and you are sure you will love kink when along comes on the screen...words. Words that seem not only written just about you, but written...to you. Suddenly, this world makes a little more sense. You are not alone. In the next few minutes you will make the decision.,

What do we mean by chemistry anytime, let alone in a first email ? If we mean the chemistry enough between two people, do we think we can create that here in the kinkosphere...in email ? Personally, I am not convinced and not because we can't get familiar and closer but in a very first email ?

Now we all know chat can be very powerful, but...can we inspire a chemistry in any first email and before anything else develops ? I think what is needed is to create emotion. When we say "we didn't 'feel' any chemistry," aren't we really saying, we didn't feel anything, meaning emotion and the kind of motivating emotions that would have you making time to email back and chat with some, while disdaining others with...thanks but no thanks...if you reply at all.

Here is an example of when and how chemistry is almost certainly not emotion.

During most medical surgeries, the operating team all assume about the same pulse rate and blood pressure during the operation. This tells us of a procedural even keel on a personal level...so to speak, in the operating room and within the group or team environment. The resulting analysis suggests that any spike in emotion almost always provokes a spike in another. This could possibly lead to a...botched surgery. So it is believed the team by their experience and routine, assumes rather than develops any certain chemistry.

There is no 'I' in team and 'chemistry' are often cast as idiotically vague bromides, and almost a euphemism for, 'I am the most valuable player' or 'I don't feel anything for you from your email.' That means chemistry and here...is emotions. Isn't the very basis of a response to anyone, lover, dom, sadist or maybe even a future master, your emotions ? And only after you meet do you truly 'feel' your chemistry and that's...the continuing story ?

So, now to reply to that email and find yourself thinking of words like odds, chance, fate. But yet, you may have just experienced the random kindness of the universe, a phenomenon that's becoming harder to come by in our corner of paradise. Now we have come to learn the real meaning of the word random and very possibly because so little of our lives is actually...random.

But he was just random, so why him ? Now you are faced with countless and often meaningless choices, profile, looks, likes and dislikes, age and location, ok some are important but now though, you go back to his words and they create in you a feeling and we call that 'chemistry.'

Is it ?

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RE: Chemistry...what is it ? - 8/17/2013 6:01:57 PM

DesFIP

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First email, no. Over time, yes. We had that needed connection before we actually met. Meeting him in real life wasn't like meeting a stranger but an old friend.

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RE: Chemistry...what is it ? - 8/17/2013 7:33:03 PM

littlewonder

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I have no idea what chemistry feels like from online interactions.

Chemistry happens to me in real life, when we go out on numerous dates and we realize we mesh together. We have similarities, we're more alike than different.

I don't get that from an email or anything online. The only thing I get from email is looking and saying "ok, so he meets that requirement on paper. Let's see if he meets it in real life." I don't get any kind of giddiness or what other people explain. It's just completely alien to me.

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RE: Chemistry...what is it ? - 8/17/2013 7:35:35 PM

MrRodgers

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I have the answer I think...next week.

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RE: Chemistry...what is it ? - 8/18/2013 2:30:51 AM

AAkasha

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When you talk about "chemistry" in an email interaction, I think it's part effort, part skill and research and part luck. Maybe part fate and alignment of the stars.

Here are a few random thoughts based on my personal experiences:

1. Did a sub's email ask me a question I feel compelled and excited to answer?
Probably not about kink, but about a hobby or something I like to talk about. This can be found in my profile, or in my posts here. This means he did his research.

2. Was the sub's email a pleasure to read?
This means he has skill as a writer. Sadly, not all people have this. But when I was reading the email was it the right length and did I enjoy the words, the flow, the paragraph breaks, the length?

3. Did the sub's email make me feel like he really wanted to connect with ME -- or just "anyone"?
This is the hardest part. Most subs' emails really feel like they are looking to connect with anyone. Desperately.

4. Extra points if the email made me laugh or smile, especially on a day or at a moment where I needed it
This goes without saying. But how can he do this if he does not know my sense of humor? Risky.

5. Does it leaving me wanting more?
If it makes me want to reply for the simple reason that I hope he sends another, quickly, then we're on the right track.

But is this "chemistry" or is this just "on the right track out of the gate?" It's probably just "on the right track." Chemistry takes a few emails. I have rarely (if ever) felt INSTANT chemistry over email. I have to think of that. I do think at least once, maybe twice, I have received an email from a stranger and went, "WOW. This man GETS me. This is incredible, I have chills!" But YES it has happened. And a lot of it was in his style of writing (skilled, fluid, concise) and how well he knew me from observing my writing on forums, etc. and how undemanding and unpretentious he was - he had done his homework.

There was chemistry because he was careful - he was purposeful and seductive, basically. And to do that, you must be willing to take a risk. To do that, you must be ready to face rejection too.

Akasha

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RE: Chemistry...what is it ? - 8/18/2013 11:20:11 AM

bafelton

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I'd suggest that the words used, the subject matter, and the phrasing work together to fire your imagination. Your imagination then runs with it.

Toodles.

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RE: Chemistry...what is it ? - 8/18/2013 11:33:27 AM

orgasmdenial12

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quote:

you go back to his words and they create in you a feeling and we call that 'chemistry.'

It depends if you call lust a 'feeling' (i.e. an emotion).

Chemistry for me is 'I fancy you, and you fancy me, and we both know it, but neither of us has said it.' I personally wouldn't class it as an emotion but a response, an attraction. I wouldn't expect to feel anything till much later in the conversation.

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