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Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/17/2013 3:58:18 PM   
ghest


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/17/2013
Status: offline 		A little over a year ago my wife came to me and said she was wanted to try bondage. I've always been interested, so we did some research and gave it a shot. Both of us enjoyed it, but we're at the point where we need to move on from beginner mode.

Unfortunately, I'm not quite sure where to go from here. Part of the problem is that I have a limited understanding of where to look, part is that anything that I read seems to range from painfully obvious beginner stuff or ridiculous advanced practices, and part is unavailability of certain items/resources (just moved back to the US).

I understand that its sort of a vague question, but where do we go from here? Outside of simple bondage, spanking, and some humiliation, we don't have much experience. Any advice/good links/resources?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/17/2013 4:12:36 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		You might find some inspiring work on You Tube, specifically videos created by Two knotty boys.
You will need an account to view them, however, as they are considered adult.

You also might enjoy participating in some workshops. I'm not exactly sure where in
Florida you are, but I've read before that Florida has an awful lot of kink venues.

Fetlife might be yet another option, as the format allows you to search for groups by locale.

Good luck to the both of you!

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(in reply to ghest)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/17/2013 4:39:19 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		I echo Poise for FL for local groups and even generic rope bondage
The knotty boys are good, both their books and their videos,
theres a good book out by Chanta Rose called Bondage for sex
Jay wisemans "Erotic Bondage Handbook" is a classic
All the books can be found at amazon or toy shops
OR look up for a BDSM checklist on google, heres one list, that you can fill out and go thru together, to see what interests you, with some good ol communication you should find something to start you off:)
http://www.cepemo.com/checklist.html
Have FUN:)

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(in reply to poise)
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RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/17/2013 6:00:20 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Where in Florida are you? There are several large groups/dungeons in that state and you could find a mentor and take workshops.

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RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/17/2013 7:07:31 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline 		Get an Ostrich feather. Or a peacock feather.

And, you know, have fun with it.

ETA : Sorry. You did say, "Painfully obvious", didn't you.

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 8/17/2013 7:11:11 PM >

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RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/17/2013 7:45:28 PM   
ghest


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/17/2013
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies! I appreciate the FL-specific replies, but that's where I'm from, but probably not where I'll be ending up. That seems pretty unfortunate, based on how much there seems to be.

However, finding a group/workshop may be interesting.

< Message edited by ghest -- 8/17/2013 7:46:00 PM >

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/17/2013 7:49:39 PM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Sorry, personally, i meant Fetlife.com, not florida, my bad

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to ghest)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/18/2013 12:43:38 PM   
ghest


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/17/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucylastic

Sorry, personally, i meant Fetlife.com, not florida, my bad


Gotcha. I saw FL, but wasn't too sure about it. Might go check it out.

And thanks for that list!

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/18/2013 7:07:17 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		So where in Florida are you? I used to live in South Florida and there are other Florida posters who could point you towards events.

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RE: Looking to move past beginner BDSM - 8/19/2013 11:50:20 AM   
ghest


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/17/2013
Status: offline 		In retrospect, the title should have been "beginner BDSM" instead of "beginner bondage". I was wondering why most of the advice was rope-related, but it makes sense now. My bad.

We had a "sex room" in our old house, which was specifically for our beginner BDSM. For various reasons it was a pretty basic room. We had a regular bed and a dresser with some toys in it. Most of it was cheap stuff, the kind of things you don't spend too much money on in case you don't like it. We had a crop, a flogger, nipple clamps, handcuffs, restraints, leash and collar, candles for hot wax, a pinwheel, ball gag, etc. The kind of stuff you can get off of Amazon, and would ship to where we lived.

When it was time to move, the wife let me know that she "wants a dungeon in our new house." I've figured out for the most part what she likes (spreader bars are "meh", handcuffs are okay if they're padded/furry, flogger is fine but higher quality, etc.), and she has a picture of what she wants the new room to be.

So we will (relatively) shortly have the place and the tools to get started. I am some one who has control issues (obviously) and likes to have everything worked out ahead of time, so I'm looking to get educated on the intricacies of a D/s relationship. Any advice is welcome, but I'm looking for some advice or solid literature (books or websites) for proper execution/exploitation of a D/s relationship.

Also, if any could recommend a nice flogger, that would be good too.

(in reply to ghest)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Looking to move past beginner BDSM - 8/19/2013 11:51:50 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Two good books:

SM101 and Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns


Personally, I like Happy Tails floggers.

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(in reply to ghest)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Looking to move past beginner BDSM - 8/19/2013 11:54:44 AM   
ghest


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/17/2013
Status: offline 		Sorry to be the new guy, but:

Can you only edit your most recent post?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Looking to move past beginner BDSM - 8/19/2013 11:57:17 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		You can edit any post up to an hour after you've posted.

Welcome.

ETA. I saw you're moving and want a dungeon.
Here's an idea. Join a group on FET that is located in the area you are relocating to. Start a thread "I need a kink friendly Real Estate broker".
All you have to do then is tell your broker and friendly fellow fetian. "I need a house with a space for a dungeon".

I have a gentleman coming to the area right now and I found a place with a large finished barn separate from the house for a big play area and right across the driveway is a little guest house/efficiency for aftercare.

He probably wouldn't have found it unless he and his Mistress had felt free to say "Here is what we want"

< Message edited by Hillwilliam -- 8/19/2013 12:02:35 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Looking to move past beginner BDSM - 8/19/2013 12:29:17 PM   
ghest


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/17/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Here's an idea. Join a group on FET that is located in the area you are relocating to. Start a thread "I need a kink friendly Real Estate broker".
All you have to do then is tell your broker and friendly fellow fetian. "I need a house with a space for a dungeon".

I have a gentleman coming to the area right now and I found a place with a large finished barn separate from the house for a big play area and right across the driveway is a little guest house/efficiency for aftercare.

He probably wouldn't have found it unless he and his Mistress had felt free to say "Here is what we want"


That's a pretty good idea. Thanks!

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Looking to move past beginner bondage - 8/19/2013 5:42:16 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
You might find some inspiring work on You Tube, specifically videos created by Two knotty boys.
You will need an account to view them, however, as they are considered adult.

You don't need an account to view age-restricted videos. There's a simple way around the gateway using the APIs. A link to the same video with no gateway is:

https://youtube.googleapis.com/v/01TWJZLyMHI

Have fun ;)

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Looking to move past beginner BDSM - 8/19/2013 6:50:03 PM   
ghest


Posts: 12
Joined: 8/17/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Two good books:

SM101 and Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns


Personally, I like Happy Tails floggers.


Those look good. Being on Kindle is a bonus.

Happy Trails looks like a good site too, but lots of different kinds. Any personal preference?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
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