What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme

What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (Full Version)

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kyang777 -> What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/17/2013 6:13:03 PM)
I had experiences in meeting both kinds, but I am a man so I only can guess from my sides how they derive satisfactions for themselves. Are these two types of dominant women essentially the same, or very different? And how they are different? ladies, any answers? How do you classify yourselves/ Thanks!

kyang777 -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/17/2013 6:34:33 PM)
You are answering from a man's point of view and oversimplified. Many men may think like these and that is fine. But this forum is to 'ask mistress', what about from women's perspective? I know there are many more 'dommes' around than 'female disciplinarians', do you mean that because there are 'sexual gratifications' associated with dommes than disciplinarians that is why there are a lot more dommes around?

Miyani -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/17/2013 7:02:28 PM)
A disciplinarian is someone who gives discipline. I imagine in this case that you're thinking specifically of corporal punishment. A domme is someone who dominates - maintains control over aspects of their partner's life. It is possible to be either, or both. There are more dommes than disciplinarians because more (but of course, not all) women prefer getting their kink on in the context of a fuller relationship, more than just spanking him while telling him he's been bad. I classify myself as a domme, who gives discipline. I've never met a woman who (to my knowledge) classifies herself as just a disciplinarian.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/17/2013 11:17:47 PM)
I consider myself a female dominant (domme). I will discipline if needed, but in my dynamics there is rarely a need since I only involve myself with mature, well-rounded and self-actualized partners. I do not use corporal for discipline, even if the sub partner hates it and considers it actual punishment. Instead, I might take away a privilege, forbid a certain food he really likes (perhaps while I eat it in front of him), assign a chore he finds distasteful as penance, or stand him in a corner with his nose touching the wall repeatedly apologizing for his transgression and stating what he will do right the next time until I tell him he can stop. I don't really consider myself a 'disciplinarian' since I don't really enjoy it, but the skills are there if appropriate.

kyang777 -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/18/2013 4:09:16 AM)
Dear Ladies: Thank you very much for your answers! I do get some ladies' side of perspectives! I met one disciplinarian before and she said to me that she is wired in such a way that she is really obsessed with male ass and giving spanking, I can feel that she wanted to develop relationship and finally she married to a man she met. I met another disciplinarian she also gets very excited in spanking me and even got 'after flow' in doing it. They might be not norm bu exceptions. I guess every person is wired differently.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/18/2013 11:49:54 AM)
Sounds to me like you met women who enjoy spanking, which may or may not be associated with discipline in the literal sense.

kyang777 -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/18/2013 12:02:16 PM)
Thank you! MistressDarkArt. For you or other ladies, what is the whole meaning and spectrum of of disciplinarian? Would like to know. Also, I love my experiences with dommes as well, for example, I took a good strapon domination from a domme who is half feet taller than me, I feel real role reversal!

JeffBC -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/19/2013 4:40:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyang777 For you or other ladies, what is the whole meaning and spectrum of of disciplinarian? Would like to know. Yeah, that's what I'd like to know also since I've never heard of that as some sort of fetish label. What is the difference in your mind kyang777?

LookieNoNookie -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/19/2013 6:06:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyang777 I had experiences in meeting both kinds, but I am a man so I only can guess from my sides how they derive satisfactions for themselves. Are these two types of dominant women essentially the same, or very different? And how they are different? ladies, any answers? How do you classify yourselves/ Thanks! "These two". "Both kinds". (Leading).

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/21/2013 6:06:33 PM)
Well, a female Dominant/Domme is, well, a female Dominant. A female disciplinarian specifically, I think, would be a woman who is more into discipline, rather than the whole Domination package. I consider myself a Domme(female Dominant) and, in a dynamic with me, I would rather teach than discipline. I like to spank and cane, but because I feel like it, not just to discipline. I prefer to be in relationships with intelligent people who are willing to learn how I like things and do it, not so much with someone who is always bucking my authority. I will discipline if it comes down to that and I have to, but I use it as a last resort. If I find that I am needing to discipline too frequently, then I think it's probably time to part ways. That's my take on it anyway. NMBG

MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/21/2013 6:34:22 PM)
I usually consider Myself more a MOTIVATOR than a Disciplinarian, although sometimes that "motivation" may include light corporal (or the threat of it) as a form of discipline (and it's when/if I decide to give it, not when they act up to get it). I actually enjoy REMOVING/DENYING them things as a form of discipline, or giving them a tedious chore they hate. The level and type of discipline depends on which sub I'm with. One can't stand to be hit at all so I get creative to get My point across, one is curious about it and now exploring his limits, others have been with some hard-core pro-Dommes so can take quite a hit, even expect it since that's what they were accustomed to in the past. Personally, I agree with some that if a sub is purposely being a BRAT (as opposed to accidentally hacking off a lilac when he was only supposed to cut the sumacs) just to attempt to earn a beating or BAIT Me into punishing him, then it's time to dismiss him. Bye bye. OP, Dominance is a more well-rounded definition encompassing ALL of the relationship with the sub (i.e. "Female Led Relationship"), whereas Discipline is more to deal with a SPECIFIC need/want/situation (i.e. Spanking fetish).

DesFIP -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/21/2013 9:10:59 PM)
Mostly when I see a profile labeled female disciplinarian, they are pro-dommes who are willing to indulge your desire to be told you were a bad boy and be caned in exchange for money. As all those outfits and tools are pricy, it makes sense that if that's all you want, and she gets nothing out of it, she should get paid. A domme wants a power relationship where her partner doesn't argue with her all the time and listens when she talks. So if her pet peeve is a sink full of dishes, she wants someone who won't argue when she tells him to do them right now, and not in three hours when the game is over.

NiceButMeanGirl -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/22/2013 11:45:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Mostly when I see a profile labeled female disciplinarian, they are pro-dommes who are willing to indulge your desire to be told you were a bad boy and be caned in exchange for money. As all those outfits and tools are pricy, it makes sense that if that's all you want, and she gets nothing out of it, she should get paid. A domme wants a power relationship where her partner doesn't argue with her all the time and listens when she talks. So if her pet peeve is a sink full of dishes, she wants someone who won't argue when she tells him to do them right now, and not in three hours when the game is over. [sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif] NBMG

kyang777 -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/25/2013 5:43:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiceButMeanGirl Well, a female Dominant/Domme is, well, a female Dominant. A female disciplinarian specifically, I think, would be a woman who is more into discipline, rather than the whole Domination package. I consider myself a Domme(female Dominant) and, in a dynamic with me, I would rather teach than discipline. I like to spank and cane, but because I feel like it, not just to discipline. I prefer to be in relationships with intelligent people who are willing to learn how I like things and do it, not so much with someone who is always bucking my authority. I will discipline if it comes down to that and I have to, but I use it as a last resort. If I find that I am needing to discipline too frequently, then I think it's probably time to part ways. That's my take on it anyway. NMBG Great perspective from your view! Want to learn from others1

FetishGirl4same -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/25/2013 5:48:45 PM)
Domme is dutch for stupid. A disciplinarian is one of my identities that a dominant woman might have.

VideoAdminChi -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/26/2013 3:11:23 PM)
quote: You are answering from a man's point of view and oversimplified. Many men may think like these and that is fine. But this forum is to 'ask mistress', what about from women's perspective? I know there are many more 'dommes' around than 'female disciplinarians', do you mean that because there are 'sexual gratifications' associated with dommes than disciplinarians that is why there are a lot more dommes around? While anyone may answer anywhere, posters do have to follow the TOS and Forum Guidelines, and so a post has been removed. Collarme.com Forum Guidelines ...The primary intention of this board is to provide a forum for discussion and the exchange of ideas. Considering the natural diversity of opinion and expression, it is expected that disagreements will often occur. While debate is fine, postings of the sort generally known as "flames" is not. Participants are not expected to coddle one another, but they are expected to keep things within the realm of maturity. This isn't a place to insult the kinks, preferences, lifestyles, etc. of others. If you don't like what another person enjoys, rest assured that there are plenty of others out there that probably don't like your activities either. Furthermore, baiting, harassment and personal attacks will not be tolerated.

sunshinemiss -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/26/2013 4:29:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FetishGirl4same Domme is dutch for stupid. Oh em gee! It really is!

PrincessDonna11 -> RE: What are the differences between a femcale disciplinarian and a domme (8/26/2013 5:13:40 PM)
I think someone that's only focus is "discipline" is that one is purely physical and the other is more total control TPE....

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/26/2013 6:19:31 PM)
They are totally the same and completely different. Just like every other woman (and man) ever born.

TigressLily -> RE: What are the differences between a female disciplinarian and a domme (8/29/2013 7:25:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyang777 I met one disciplinarian before and she said to me that she is wired in such a way that she is really obsessed with male ass and giving spanking, I can feel that she wanted to develop relationship and finally she married to a man she met. I met another disciplinarian she also gets very excited in spanking me and even got 'after flow' in doing it. They might be not norm bu exceptions. I guess every person is wired differently. Any Domme can be a disciplinarian, but I'd like to make the distinction between the lower case "d" and upper case "D" of Disciplinarian. You may have a valid point about the spanking and male ass association on the part of both Domme and sub, by the way. Let me provide the 2 most cogent examples I can think of, both involving Pro-Dommes whose specialty was that of Disciplinarian. Ex.#1: Over the course of a couple weeks, I found out the following about a sub I later interviewed in person. He had been regularly hiring a Strict Disciplinarian (as she referred to herself) to administer hour-long beatings with a leather strap & paddles across his ass, ordinarily while he was buck naked standing against a wall. He had a wooden domination bench he would also bend over, while his wrists were secured by metal rungs. She gave this to him when she retired a few years afterwards. He only admitted the extent of his anal-erotic kinks when I commented on one of the photos he showed me, "Boy, somebody really did a number on you!" He was with another provider who specialized in using strap-ons but never got to fully complete his dilation training. (Have no idea how she referred to herself.) He was also into OTK-Over the Knee spankings, but I determined he was not D/s relationship material, so thus ended our contact. Ex.#2: A sub who had a Phone Mistress for 8 years was instructed by her to go out and hire a Domme who specialized in administering discipline ("Disciplinarian") for hour-long OTK sessions. She did not provide the anal penetration services he wanted, however. (Oh well, back to using his trusty vibrator on himself.) My personal opinion is that this is a professional designation for a BDSM specialty, and as such, a provider can charge more for her services than a regular Pro-Domme does. I could be mistaken. Regardless of the perceived necessity for the services of a Dominatrix, my other assessment is that once submissive males start becoming fetish and/or kink menu-driven in this regard, they get ruined for any kind of REAL relationship in the real world, in real life with a real/non-fantasy inspired image of what it means to be in an intimate relationship with a Dominant female. . . . But that's for another forum discussion.

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